So this story is about a girl who's a victim of rape!

Long story!😥 nearly 8000 words!

I gave so much of thought regarding this topic and finally wrote a story. Give it a try and comment❤

Happy reading📖😘❤

Shiva's POV!

"Dei anna! Onnu avaluku propose pannu illana veetla solra ponnayachum kalyanam panni thola.. Ipdi single aave irundhu en uyira edukatha da! Ne kalyanam panna dhan aduthu en matter ah solla mudiyum🙁!"
(Hey bro! Either propose her or just marry the girl whoever our family chose.. Don't be single and bother me like this! I can open my love matter only after your marriage🙁!)

My brother vikram who's 1 yr younger than me whined which I cared less.

"Don't whine okay!? I'll propose her today no matter what!" I said stiffly.

"Haan haan.. You're saying this dialogue everyday for the whole freaking 2 years!" He said with annoyance.

"Th-That.. Hmm.. Today is the last! I'll tell her no matter what!!!" I said while stammering little. He rolled his eyes while I glared.

Ok let me tell what we're talking about. I'm Shiva, 27 years old, running a small bakery. I'm a professional baker. I love a girl named Shakthi who's also my neighbor for 2 years but never confessed as I'm too shy or more like fearing of rejection.

She's not working anywhere but taking tution for kids in her home. I heard that she worked in a school as a teacher before 2 and half years i.e before shifting here.

It was love at first sight for me. She was watering plants while talking to them cutely in her house terrace when I first saw her. She was so involved and dramatically speaking-scratch-that-frowning about the weather.

It was half past 6 in early morning and it was sunny and hot as well. Usually I exercise earlier but today I overslept. She was scolding the sun god while complaining to the poor plant about 'why it's so hot and sunny rather why not rain' when I entered.

I don't know how much time I spent watching her without doing my daily exercise because I came to reality when her eyes shot a arrow straight into my eyes. Intolerable by the intensity of her eyes shot, I looked away.

She frowned and her face went uncomfortable realizing that I stared at her the whole time. She ran immediately. It was from that day she kept on disturbing my thoughts. And I went terrace every morning exactly at that time just to get a glimpse of her.

She did come for the next few days but once she was sure of me being there at that exact time, she stopped coming at that time. I missed her🙁.

Then after that, I decided to do something to meet her to have a talk or befriend her. But I don't know what exactly I have to do. I've searched for her account in every possible social medias but I found none.

She's actually living alone here with her grandma. Once, I accidentally met her grandma in the nearby park when I went to jog in evening not knowing that she's her grandma.

I helped her grandma when she was about to faint due to dehydration. She recognized me as she knows my mother and thanked me. We became pretty close as time passes. I even calling her granny by now like my own granny. I went to that park every day not only to see her but also to hear her talks about shakthi.

Yes, she did talk about her a lot. A lot in the sense, a whole day happenings, their bickerings, etc. But she never mentioned about her parents or what happened to them. Her eyes somewhat become longing whenever she talked about Shakthi.

From her, I learned that Shakthi is a positive and strong girl. She can be scary when she's angry though and She'll be literally an angel when she's in a good mood. She's literally a baby if we have to put it in a single word. She'll be either angry and unruly or pleading and whiny when she's stubborm. She loves rain more and moon. She loves teaching.

One day before 2 and half months ago, granny invited me when I playfully asked her "When will I get the chance to taste your precious handmade biscuits? We've been friends for more than a year yet You didn't even invite me to your home Gran! Do you think that I'll steal your recipe once you invite and make me biscuits? Or You still think me as a outside! Didn't you?"

She immediately denied my sentence and invited me to her house after giving me a small advice "Please don't talk with my grand daughter! Just that She's not comfortable with anyone other than me. She's a pure introvert. That's why pa." Well, in spite of my curiosity, I chose to be quitely nodding at her.

I went to her home that evening. But the door was opened by Shakthi and I was welcomed with her hug.

I stiffened at the sudden hug but it was so heartwarming that I felt the arrow from her eyes before straightly piercing my soul through my chest making my heart do a mini gymnastic performance inside. Suddenly as like realizing, she pushed me with full force.

She looked at me shocked, and little uncomfortable as well as self consious. She shuddered too. Sweat beats formed in her face and she was hyperventilating making me panick. Her eyes glistened with tears making my heart jump in anxiety.

"Are you okay?" I asked with full concern. She didn't respond but went inside closing the door softly. I knocked.

"Hello! Ms.Shakthi! Excuse me! Are you okay? Please answer me.. I'm scared. What happened to you? Did you hurt anywhere?" I yelled knocking the door saying the same sentence again and again. After about more than 5 mins, she opened the door.

"I-I thought my granny-" she stammered more so I cut her off in middle.

"Are you okay now? You were not well before. I was worried. I'm sorry if it have something to do with me." I apologized though I have no idea what I did wrong for her to become that vulnerable. All I did was stood there when she hugged me out of blue. She relaxed after hearing me but didn't react.

"I-I'm okay. Who are you? Why are you here?" She asked me strictly masking her vulnerable expression.

"Uhmm.. Grann.. I mean where is your grandma?" I asked her.

"Why are you asking her?" She sounded pissed yet she become uncomfortable as her voice came barely audible.

"She invited me." I shrugged.

"What? That's impossible! She'll never do that!" She was shocked and said more to herself than me.

"Uh? Why are you so shocked? She just invited me to see your home and taste her biscuits.. Not to make me marry off to you. Okay?" I said casually.

She become raged with red shot eyes. Her uneasiness and fear flew away as she's more than angry. She furiously slammed the door shut in front of my face. But she's cute like an angry bird🤭. I knocked the door again and again. After couple of knocks, she opened the door with angry face. Before she was angry means, now she's furious and scary!

"I'm sorry. But she really did invite me and it's not good manners to treat a guest like this." I said while smiling with a pout. Her face softened but it faded in a fraction of second.

"You're not my guest!" Saying this, she shut the door on my face again burning with anger.

Like hearing my prayers, Granny came within 2 minutes. She looked at me surprised.

"Hey Shiva! I'm sorry I went to shop to buy flour for biscuits. When did you come? Did you knock the door?" She asked me.

"Wow.. You're amazing granny. You went shop for me. You really touched me🤧. Even made me forget that your sweet grand daughter shut the door on my face 3 times!" I said dramatically wiping my invisible tears. She gasped.

"She did what?" She asked me shocked and embarrassed.

"It's okay granny. Not her fault though. I didn't introduce myself properly. She might be misunderstood me." I said politely.

"I bet she didn't give you a chance to introduce yourself" saying this, she shook her head in disbelief.

"I apologize for her Shiva. Please come inside!" She said guiltily. I just side hugged her saying "It's not at all a big deal! If you're sorry, then pack me a loads of biscuits!😉" I winked at her while she playfully smacked my head.

Then we both entered. She made me sit in sofa then she went inside kitchen to get me water. That time Shakthi came outside of her room while saying "Granny! Did you invite any idiot to ou-Wait! What the heck are you doing here? How did you get in?" she looks so exasperated.

"I requested your door to open and being a gentleman, it opened for me unlike mannerless you." I said sarcastically.

"You!! How dare you talk to me like this? That too while sitting in my home! Damn it! And my door is not a gentleman! It's gentlewoman! Men are all trash!" She yelled but she's not so uncomfortable but angry.. More like bold and confident.

I don't know why she's this much angry towards me without a solid reason. I mean I did teased her but I was just trying to talk with her. But this is fun though to provoke her more.

"Oh then women also aren't gentle! They're all mannerless.. Well, except our granny and my mommy!" I said coolly.

"Men are scumbags and you're one to-Wait! What do you mean by our granny? She's mine!!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

"What's happening here? Shakthi! Why are you yelling at him?" Granny came and asked her sternly. She glared granny.

"Did you invite this man?" She asked. Granny nodded quitely like nothing making her eyes go wider. Though granny is silent, her face screamed shocked and surprised at Shakthi's anger.

"How can you? Don't you know that I.. I was not comfortable with any mal-outsiders?" She asked with hurt and shocked.

"Granny! Am I really an outsider? I thought I was like your family!" I said with a pout turning their attentions on me.

"You shut up! I'm talking to my grandma!" She ordered me rudely like she's my boss which makes me pout more.

"Shut up Shakthi! He just came to have a cup of coffee with me. Why are you over exaggerating this? He even saved me once!" Granny told her.

"Saved you?" She asked and granny explained her. She lowered her head embarrassed to look at me but still stubborn.

"But that doesn't mean you can ignore my feelings granny, does it? How can you invite a man when you know about me and my life?" she asked with hurt.

"Don't talk like that Shakthi. I know but he's really a good human and I just want to thank him. I thought that you'll be in terrace teaching the kids in this time. That's why, i asked him to come now. Go to your room till he leaves so that you will be comfortable.

And Shiva! I'm extremely sorry to make you see this. She is just uncomfortable with others as I said.. Leave her. Please don't take anything to heart. She really didn't mean it." Granny said.

"It's okay granny! And by the way, i don't think she's uncomfortable. She's just angry that you invited me not informing her. Isn't it Ms.Shakthi?" I asked her. She frowned while thinking and widened her eyes like alarmed.

"I.. That.. I.. I'll go to my room granny." She said and Literally ran to her room.

"Shiva.. Do u think she's really comfortable while talking to you alone? Didn't she shudder or cry?" She asked me surprised making me think.

"Why granny? What happened to her that she'll react that way? Did I do something?" I asked perplexed.

"No. No. Not like that. Just answer me." She pleaded. I explained what actually happened. She gasped hearing everything.

"This is the first time!" She muttered to herself.

"What is her first time granny?" I asked curiously.

"Her showing angry to others." She muttered.

"Are you kidding me? She literally looked like a kaali devi ready to kill me with her fire spitting eyes!" I exclaimed. But granny smiled with a sob and then hugged me chanting "Thank you" in which I had no idea.

Then she made biscuits and tea which was more than delicious. I asked her about her grand daughter's behaviors but she didn't tell much other than she's an introvert. To my utter shock and surprise, she asked me to come daily if I want to learn her recipes.

Even though I wondered and feared what and how Shakthi will react, I agreed with hope and joy of seeing Shakthi daily and planning of making her fall for me.

So from that day onwards, I went there daily for the next 2 months. At first, shakthi was so angry and annoyed at me and granny but later she got used to it or to be honest we both used-to-more-like-enjoyed her cute bickerings.

After 2 months, I didn't went there as I learned recipes more than enough but granny insisted me on coming as she want to see me. So I went the next day and that was the last day too. Shakthi was not in a good mood when granny went to shop for buying eggs.

As usual, I tried to mess with her to lift her mood. I mean it's usual that if she talks with me, she'll forget whatever in her mind and started to yell at me like it's her fav thing to do too.

"Why are you awfully quite? You didn't even yell at me till now. Wow!" I said she sighed frustratedly.

"I'm not in a good mood. Leave me alone." She said.

"So you'll only yell at me when you're in a good mood. Why? Talking with me makes you happy or you'll talk with me when you're happy?" I said jokingly.

"First of all, why are you here? Didn't you finish your recipe-learning 2 days before?" she asked.

"To see you-I mean granny!" I said with a wink.

"I don't know what black magic you did on her that she kept on inviting you not even caring about me. But please don't snatch her from me. She's all I have. I hate to see you with her! You spoiled her mind and she's talking nonsense now. Our life has enough mess! Please don't create more. I'm begging you to leave us please.." She said with serious expression not like rambling other days. She's too serious today.

"Shakthi.. What happened? Did granny tell anything? Any problem?" I asked her softly.

"Yeah! The problem is you!! You unintentionally bullshitting her mind!!! If you want me to live in peace, don't come here after!!!!" She yelled while crying her eyes out. It pained me.. It pained me more than I thought..

It has been 10 days since I went there as my amma is not well so I'm taking care of her. My mom is a single mother and divorcé.

To be honest, I'm missing Shakthi.. Terribly! I want to see her! But what she said that day is not mere words out of anger. It had meaning.. A deep hidden meaning. But I don't know what it is!.

I'm actually comfortable with this feeling of one side love.. I mean I can live with this feeling till eternity without marrying anyone and just by seeing her but my only fear is what if she marry someone? Can I handle that pain of seeing her with someone else?

Noo!!! I can't.. So I decided to propose her but failed miserably for more than 100 times😁 as I can't even able to form a sentence in front of her regarding my love.

So before talking with her, I decided to talk to granny regarding this. I went to park in our usual meeting time. She was mad at me for not visiting her. So after lots of begging, she talked with me and I confessed honestly about my love towards shakthi. She was shocked first but more than happy and then later her face went pale.

"I'm sorry Shiva. You can't love her. She's not the girl you think she is. She's tormented inside! Please forget her and get a girl who suits you better." She said with tears.

"Why granny? Am I not enough deserving her? I swear I'll never hurt her! I'll love her till eternity!" I literally pleaded.

"That's not what I meant shiva. She-She is a rape-victim. She was gang raped 2 and half years ago in our native. Her parents commited suicide because of humiliation. Even she tried suicide, but poor girl saved by me.

I made her shift here with me and treated her here but she became so suppressive. She didn't let her emotions out instead she bottled up everything. She feared to even meet anyone.

Doctor told that when she express her emotions like anger or sadness, that's when she'll be cured and have a normal life. And it happened because of you. You're the first person she expressed her anger.

That's why I asked you to come daily. And like I thought, she was slowly healing by letting her emotions whenever seeing you. But I didn't expect that I'm encouraging you to have feelings for her. I should have told you before itself! It was all my fault that you fell in love with her. I'm sorry Shiva." She said in a go. My mind registered her words one by one. Tears formed in my eyes unknowingly.

She's hurt! She's in pain! More than pain! It killed me to imagine her pain! Her tears held more pain than a birth giving mother.. She's more hurt than a soldier in war!

I don't know when and how much time I sat their cried but came to reality when granny carressed my back lovingly.

"I'm sorry shiva.." She said.

"Why are you sorry for granny? It's not her fault! She didn't do anything! I love her.. Do you against me marrying her?" I said. She gasped.

"What are you saying Shiva? You're okay with this?" She asked me with shock. I frowned

"What do you mean by 'are you okay?'? Isn't it should be 'will shakthi be okay with this!'? Because she's the one here to accept me despite her horrible past with trashy men! I love her.. I really love her. I can't imagine a life without her granny. Please help me pursue her!" I said determinantly. She smiled and hugged me tight. And we both went home with a decision to talk with her directly.

Pov ends..

Shakthi's POV!

"Aarthi.. Read this essay. Tomorrow is your test ryt?" I said to 8 yr old kid who came to study in my tuition.

"I can't read this🙁. Can you teach me?" She asked with a pout.

"Anjali.. Come here. Help her to study. I'm not feeling well that's why. Are you okay? Or should I teach?" I asked 13 yr old girl.

"No problem ka(sis).. I'll take care. Please take care of yourself." She replied with a smile. I nodded.

Actually I'm really not feeling well. My mind is a pure mess now. It's all because of him.. I'm living my life peacefully after a long time since that awful horrendous incident in my life but then he entered my life to make me miserable. Yes! I'm talking about him, Shiva.

Let me introduce myself, I'm Shakthi, loves teaching worked as a teacher 2 and half yrs back. My life is purely a bliss till that day when my whole life turned upside down. When demons entered my heaven without permission making it a damn hell.

Men are all trash! Boys are always boys! They're demons. Society is the biggest trash because rumors spread like that awful smell faster.

If girls makes mistakes, it is her fault. If boys makes mistakes, it is his mom's fault(not dad's?). They say that it is her fault to wore revealing dresses but they never said that it is his lust which should be controlled and shut properly.

They say that it is her fault to being friendly with boys and she should be careful. They never said that it is his responsibility to protect her and not use her.

They say that its her mistake to trust him. They never say that it's his fucking mistake to cheat her. They criticize her for divorcing her husband becoz of his abuse. They never criticize or even noticed when she was abused by him!

Everytime.. Every-single-time they always tries to convince(not comfort) her if something happens for a girl. And they always tries to uphold(not upright) him.

So if a man rapes a girl, of course it's her fault to be alone, to wear dress made of fabric instead of thorns, to born as a girl, to have Curves and flesh instead of stone and mud. Have you ever thought that how ironic is that society thinks a girl need a man to protect her from other men? Haha.. Like eating cold items in cold weather!

Animals are far more better than humans. At least they know common sense like to not harm their same species but humans? They're worst and men? They're the worst of worst.

It was that day when I happily went to my school and returned in afternoon as it was a half day. I decided to take an auto as it was too sunny and hot. But that's the worst decision I made in my entire life.

That auto driver took advantage of me being alone and took me to a remote area. I screamed, yelled but the road was all empty and one or two who roamed also just watched me. He stopped at a secluded place where already 4 monsters are waiting.

They pulled me like I'm a sac. They didn't even considered me as fellow human. They literally raped me one by one without mercy. I screamed, cried, tried to hit.. But all in vain. I wished to die.. My prayers changed from help me to kill me.. But that cruel god didn't listen. And this merciless monsters didn't bulge.

They tored my dresses, pierced my skin, bite my whole body, raped me in spite of seeing the blood around me, in spite of realizing I'm a virgin. They're worst than animals. After sucking out my blood and tears and sending my soul to hell, they released me not before immobilizing me by hitting my legs with a rod.

I opened my eyes only to see the hospital. I cried.. Please I don't wanna be alive in this world. I'd rather be in hell than here. Hell is far more better than here. At least monsters don't wear human masks there. I was hospitalized for more than 3 months.

Like putting a salt to my wound, police asked me to explain the whole scene. I can't able to speak about anything. I was like mute then. But they never stopped questioning me. Are they also humans? Did they know in what state I'm in? How can they ask me to explain it? Is it easy? Will they ask their family members to explain if they went through the same?

Seeing my state, they stopped after few attempts but they caught that monsters soon but what are they gonna do? Locked them up in a room and feeding them 3 times a day, aren't they? But here I'm.. Being ripped off and crushed can't even able to open my mouth for talking.

As like putting me a in a coffin, my parents commited suicide because of me. They can't handle the society's taunts and humiliation. Now what do I have other than being alive for the namesake! My soul was killed, my body was torned, My dignity was crushed, my mind was dead.. Why am I even alive?

Finally forcing myself to stand and walk, I bought a rat infectant from a nearby store ignoring the stares of pity and disgusts. I drank the liquid but only to vomit which is coincidentally noticed by my grandmother. She cried and dragged me from that hell hole to a new city.

She consulted me to a doctor, psychiatrist. That doctor adviced me only to let it out, or express myself. How can I? I'm already dead inside. No emotions came from me.. Even pain.. Only tears came but that too because of human defence mechanism.. Involuntary action.

My body is crying because it has pain. Not my thoughts.. Not my soul.. I don't even know or understand what my body experience.. I want to erase.. Erase everything.. I was going crazy. Every human being made me fear. I was afraid even to face a child. Everyone seems like a monster to me.. Hallucination!

I came out of my hallucinations after getting treatment for 3 months. I was able to deal with children, even women but not men and not lot's of humans at a time.

I isolated myself. Grandma came with this idea of tutoring children to distract myself. I love gardening. Plants are like angels compared to humans. I made a terrace garden and made them my friends. I started bicker with grandma just to make her happy. But I know I'm already dead inside.

I talk with them sometimes and that's when I saw him one day. First time in these period, one male didn't appear as monster to me and that made me surprised. His eyes looked straight into my eyes like reviving my dead soul.

Men are always monsters!!!!!

My mind alarmed me and I literally ran from there. His staring continued for days and it did made me little uncomfortable but not disgusted. It was like my soul wants to get alive under his gaze. But my mind alarmed me everytime and I stopped going there at that time.

My cruel fate didn't let me live in peace. One day grandma went to shop and I was alone. I felt bored so I watched a film and that made me worst. There was a rape scene made me feel numb rooted to the place. Knocking sound made me came out to reality.

I literally ran and opened the door to hug my grandma. That scent instantly calmed me. My heart dwelled with warmness. My brain literally feels like intoxicated before yelling at me that was not my grandma!!

I pushed him away and saw him. Sudden past memories hitted me like hell and I ran from there. Usually I took tablets if I get this reaction. I searched tablets like mess but hearing his voice with so much compassion and concern instantly calmed me down.

I slowly opened the door masking my reaction into a cold one but inside my brain and heart did a big debate and I decided to give him a cold shoulder. And then granny came but with him. I know granny will never do anything to hurt me. Then why him? She literally saw me struggling with others then why she do that? Did he become more important to her than me?

He was smart. He get the hint that granny's saying that I'm uncomfortable and also predicted that I'm just angry. I went from there not able to defend myself and also to calm my heart which is beating like crazy saying that I'm still alive and I have emotions. And Never forget that today is the first day I expressed myself that too in front of a man!!

After this, granny was happy. Guess she noticed it too. She cleverly made him come everyday after that in spite of my arguements and fights. But somewhat I too became used to it. Being with him relaxes me and also made me feel alive. It has been 2 months already. He learned every recipes from granny though.

That I was not in good mood as granny and I had a biggest fight about letting him in. She was so happy that I made improvement in my treatments and mental health that she rambled that "I'll die in peace once I marry you off to a guy like Shiva. Your life will become heaven again" that made me mad! Enraged!

Realizing what she said, she immediately bit her tongue and apologized "I'm sorry shakthi.. I didn't mean it that way. I like shiva. But I swear I didn't think of him more than my own grandson. It just slip of my tongue." I know she really didn't mean it. But a part-a little- part of me was elated and that maddened me more.

When shiva came that day, I poured it on him. And he didn't come after that which saddened as well as relieved me. A part of me was missing him terribly. I just want to see his face and hear his voice but I hate myself for feeling like that. It has been 10 days already. And I'm missing him more like I'm missing me.. A part of me.. A part which attached to my soul.

"Akka(sis)! It's late. Can we go home?" Anjali asked making me came out of my thoughts. I nodded and they went one after other. As today is saturday, they came in afternoon and went in evening

I came downstairs and made a coffee for me. Door opening sound made to look outside foolishly expecting him. But it was granny-wait-he.. He too came. My heart jumped in happiness seeing him after 10 days. But he didn't look at me and gestured granny to say something who smiled nervously.

"Shakthi! We want to talk to you." Granny said nervously.

"We?" I raised an brow with suspicious face. She laughed nervously.

"Shiva wants to talk with you in private. Will you able to talk?" She asked me while shiva's face become horrified as he murmured "Granny do you want me to get killed?" This made me wondered. Hmm.. Talking with him daily reduced my fear towards male species or atleast him. So I nodded with a okay!

Shiva nudged granny saying "don't go gran.. Help me!" when she left after saying "then I'll leave you two!"

What these two are plotting?

"What do you wanna say? And why are you here today? I thought you finally decided to let me live in peace." I said sarcastically. He twisted his lips while pouting.

"Please don-don't interrupt me while I'm saying. Okay?" He said nervously and I nodded.

"I-I lllaaavv-IloveyouIwannabewithyoupleasemarryme!" He said in a go. I don't even understand a single word other than I.

"What did you say?" I asked him perplexed.

"I.. I.. I love you! I real-" I cut him off in middle not able to believe my ears.

"Sorry.. I think I misheard you. What did you say?" I asked hoping him not to say those words. He sighed impatiently.

"You heard me right Shakthi! I love you! I real-" Again I cut him off.

"What the heck Shiva!? Are you out of your mind? Is this because of that kelavi(oldie)! Where the hell is she! Granny!! Oldiee!!! Where are you Rajeshwari!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. He grabbed my shoulders to calm me and made me sit in sofa.

"Shakthi calm down! This has nothing to do with granny. I loved you at first sight itself! Remember when we first met in terrace when you talked with your plants? At that moment itself, I fell for you. And granny's talks about you added my love on.. And seeing and bickering with you just multiplied my love.. I love your everything shakthi.. Your angrybird face, mischievous smiles, evil grin, annoyed expression, intensive eyes.. Everything.. Everything Shakthi!" He said making me feel weak. It was like giving a inhaler to my soul.. So refreshing.. But.. But no.. This is not right.. I'm not right.. I have trust issues. I'll never trust him. I can't manage it..

"Shiva! You're blabbering all this because you know nothing about me! I.. I can't fit into this society! I can't! Just leave me alone. Why everyone is stressing me? I'm more than happy with myself!" I said stubbornly.

"I know! I know shakthi!" He said softly making me shock.

"What? What you know???" I yelled clutching his collars.

"What happened in your life.. That you're hurt.. That you're in pain.. I know everything Shakthi!" He said with freah tears clenching his fist into a ball tightly.

"Hurt? Pain? You have no idea Shiva!!! You know nothing! Just get out of here before I explode myself! Please." I pleaded him. Because that awful memories making me to lose my everything to stood with patience.. I never felt this much rage before.

I don't know whether it's because of I don't want to remember it or because I don't want him to know.. He knows everything.. What'll he think now? Like others? But why he proposed me? What is he thinking of himself? Sacrificing himself for me? Or pitying me?

I don't want him to know. I don't want him to know that I went through the horrible things. I became raged if only, if only we met under diff situation.. If only we met before 2 and half years.. If only I didn't see him and fell for him now..

"Just explode Shakthi! Peace will only come after storm! Just let it go!!! Why are you holding it in? Why are you making your mind trash with those trashy memories!? Just let it go! Express yourself!" He yelled while tears carelessly flowed from his eyes.

"Let it go?? You're asking me to let it go? You know what happened? Everyone cursed me for my carelessness which led to lose my dignity and they even said I killed my parents. Little did they know that they're the one who killed my parents? What did I do wrong? Taking a auto? Going to work? Or being educated? Or being born as a girl?

Tell me what did I do wrong in this? Did they think I enjoyed it? Why are they seeing me as sin? And that men! Are they really humans or monsters? Didn't they come to this world from a female? Don't they have a bit of humanity?

They literally teared my soul into pieces! They killed me that day itself.. I'm just a shell now.. No feelings.. No emotions.. I was more than angry to kill them.. To stab them 1000 times.. To make them infertile so that no girl can experience what I went through.

But in reality? They just getting locked up in jail. Is it even a punishment? Even patients are locked up in a separate room. So that is considered as a punishment? It's just a treatment! I don't know whether the govt gives safety for victims or accused by locking them up?

What the hell is this law? These laws are all written by males!! Can a male give justice to a female? No! Because they're the one causing trouble for females so hell no they're going to punish themselves brutally. Out of 389 members in writing indian law, only 15 were women! Is this called equality?

Where is the gender equality went when making and following this fucking laws for ages? If a male can make laws, then why can't females? Why they didn't give us freedom to write a law for ourselves? Why didn't they educate us like boys in old days?

Till now, there's only 33% seats for females in India, why not 50%? Didn't men born from female whom you consider less powerful? So female can produce powerful men but can't be powerful ryt?

Our country says that 'Girls are like eyes of the country', may be that's why often everyone making them tear up.

Do you know where we went wrong? Calling someone as 'potta'(describing girl gender) is insult whereas the word 'aambala'(male) itself is proud. I hate it! I hate everything!

They made me hate myself! I hate my body! I hate my helplessness! I hate myself! Please leave me! Please!!" I yelled and kneeling down on ground while sobbing miserably. He hugged me tightly and caressed my back soothingly while sobbing himself.

"Calm dowm Shakthi! I know what you mean! I do know. But everyone is not same! We can't change the society but we can bring a change from ourselves. You are one strong girl. Our body is just blood and flesh like any other species but what makes us unique and special is our soul. They can get your body not your soul. They're not monsters they're worse than that. Don't waste your precious life because of those unworthy bastards! Even they're living their life without regret as you said. I admit what those did is absolutely unforgivable and brutally punishable but that doesn't mean you can't live your life like this. You didn't do anything wrong.. You're the victim here! So don't punish yourself!

Shakthi.. I love you. I really mean it. I know to sugarcoat cake but not words. I'm terrible in putting my thoughts in words(author ps: mee too shiv)

Please.. I don't ask you to love me. Yes, at first my intention was to make you love me but not now! I just want you to live your life to the fullest! I want you to enjoy your life. Please.. I want to see your smile, a real smile. Can't you at least show me that? And if you love me back.. Then I'm the most luckiest person in this planet now. Please smile shakthi.. For me?" He begged, literally begged. He sat in front of me and hugged me letting his tears wet my shoulders.

Thousand of debates going on in my mind. My mind is not straight now. No.. He-he's too pure for me. I don't deserve him, his love. I'm a cursed soul! I parted away from him. I cupped his cheeks

"No.. No.. Shiva! This is not right! You're not in your right mind.. You're just being emotional. You'll regret this later! I'm cursed! I'm impure! You know what's most important than alive? It's dignity!! Especially for a women! It's more precious than anything.. And I lost it! Lost it to some crazy monsters! I'm ill-fated and I don't wanna drag anyone into this hell hole! Try to understand me!" I begged him with tears.

"What the hell you're talking Shakthi!? If you didn't love me, that's another story but what do you mean by impure, ill-fated, losing dignity, hell hole and all?? Haan? You didn't lost dignity! They snatched it! Humans are equal so dignity is not especially for girls it's for both!They committed the sin! They lost their dignity not you!

And YOU ARE NOT IMPURE! First understand this, Ganges (holy river in india) will never be called impure just because some impure humans bath in it. It will remain holy till it exist! And that's what girls are! Some impure beings can't make them impure. Whatever they chose and do, they always remains holy!

Regret? Me? Hell no! I'm not in my teens Shakthi. I'm a grown up man. I know what I want and what I don't want. When I heard what happened to you, I swear Shakthi! I swear I didn't even one bit regret loving you or she's not pure like that. All I had was rage! Angry, pain, hurt.. Angry that I can't kill those bastards and pained that I couldn't have been with you when you went through all this alone.. I love you Shakthi!" He said furiously yet lovingly.

"Shiva.. You can't understand! I took 2yrs to simply talk with a male after that and I don't know how I'll react if we get married! I-I'm not me.. I can't find myself fully Shiva! I'm searching.. Still searching.. I'm afraid that you'll lose yourself trying to find me!" I cried..

"Please don't talk like this Shakthi! You love me! You already found your missing piece in me." He declared. I gasped.

"No!" I denied.

"Don't lie! You didn't said that you hate me or not loving me. You just said that you don't want me to worry or regret because of you. You even said that when we get married.. You care my life more than yours and vice versa Shakthi. I care for yours more. So just shut the heck up and marry me! Don't act like I'm a sacrificer here! In love, there's no sacrifice word exists. Because if one consider doing anything for their partner as sacrificing, there'll be no love.

We do give up things for love but that shouldn't considered as sacrifice.. Sacrifice is something which makes you emotionally think as high of yourself but in love it's shouldn't be like that. Everything you give up shouldn't bother you and that much you need to love the partner.

So I'm not a sacrificer or all mighty and you're not a pity or bad one here. I love you and you love me. That's all matters. Please accept me!" He begged with a pout wiping off my tears with a small smile. I can't forgive myself if i hurt him.

"But will your parents accept me?" I asked with a small sob.

"They will. If they don't, I'll never marry. Already mom is doubting me as gay because of I'm single till eternity. So she'll be happy as long as I didn't love a guy!" He joked. I chuckled.

"So??" He paused.

"So??" I mimicked while giggling.

"Don't you know what I'm expecting?" He asked with a pout. I laughed.

"You're messing with me. Don't you?" He said and twisted his lips.

"I love you Shiva" saying this, I joined my forehead with him. He freezed hearing the words. I shook him and he jerked. He hugged me tightly.

"I love you too Shakthi!" Saying this, he kissed my forehead. I involuntarily parted as a defense reaction from my trauma.

"I'm sorry! I should be careful. I just became emotional." He said as he scratched his crook of neck with a cute embarrassed face. I shook my héad.

"I should be careful. I should register in my mind that you'll never hurt me so that it don't have to show that defense reactions.." I said as kissed his cheeks. We both turned to cough sounds.

My granny, his mother and his brother is standing there with shocked faces but soon broken into a wide smile.

"That.. We.. I.. Granny.." I stammered with a blush.

"Oh-ho someone is blushing who don't even know how to smile!" Grandma teased us.

"But ma.. How come you're here?" Shiva asked his mother.

"Do you think your mother is blind? I know that you love her. I just waited for you to make a move.😉 but my son is slower than tortoise.. Thank god you confessed before she turns 60." His mother joked.

"But aunty.. About me.. I" she cut me off in middle.

"I know dear. Your grandma told me everything. That's not your fault. My husband accused me of illegal affair and abused me. I divorced him for my peace of mind but society criticized me. They believed him not me.

They put blame on girl no matter who commits mistake. It's like a ritual. Even I hated men at that time but I loved my sons. I don't want to grow them like my husband and they didn't disappoint me. I'm more than happy that he chose you over any other girl. Will you be my daughter? Can you call me amma?" She asked me. I immediately went near and hugged her tightly sobbing.

"Ma! Just now she stopped crying! See you're making her cry again." Shiva whined.

"Let me cry! Atleast I'm crying with some sort of emotion instead of empty tears after a long time!" I said sniffling.

Later that, they arranged marriage for us in a month and we got married happily. We're married for more than a month. But he never get intimate with me other than forehead and cheeks kisses even ignoring my initiations of lip locks. Such a dumb ass he is!!

"Hey wifey! Why are you frowning? Plotting any plan uh?" He entered our room while asking teasingly.

"Yeah. Just thinking of going to honeymoon with you." I said casually making his eyes wider. I suppressed my chuckle.

"What? Where? Pakistan or Afghanistan?" He joked masking his shocked expression.

"No! Kaasi or Rameshwaram! I think rameshwaram is better as it's in Tamil nadu. What say?" I asked him. He frowned.

"Honeymoon? To there? Are you nuts?" he asked me with disbelief.

"Then where can I go with my saint like husband!" I shrugged.

"Shak-Shakthi! Do you even know what is the meaning behind your sentence?" He asked with utter disbelief.

"I'm a teacher. So I know the meaning more than you and you're the one who's dunce here! Can't even get the hint!😒" I said annoyed. He jumped on bed after changing into his night clothes. He leaned towards me and joined our forehead.

"You don't need to worry about it because of me. I can wait. We can get intimate only when you're ready." He said softly.

"I know. Before meeting you, I was literally dead especially my soul and my body is only scientifically alive. But you revived my soul when I saw first day itself and I want you to revive my body.. To make me feel alive completely. I want to be yours in every sense. I know it's not easy as I said but I also know you'll never hurt me and handle me like a flower." I confessed. He looked at me lovingly kissing my forehead, then my eyes, nose, cheeks and finally... What the hell is he doing!

"You're so impatient wifey!" He said with a wink. I glared him. He chuckled.

"Calm down d. I stopped not to tease you. I want you to kiss me. What if you kick me where the sun doesn't shine as a defence reaction when i try to kiss you!" He joked. I twisted my lips with a pout.

"Just joking d. But I want you to kiss me first. I want you to comfortably touch me first. I don't want to take risk of bringing back your memories by touching you accidentally anywhere you were hurt." he said lovingly.

I slowly leaned and kissed his forehead, eyes, nose and cheeks lovingly.. I was hell nervous to kiss him.. This is my first kiss and I'm going to initiate it.. Thank god that monsters atleast didn't steal my first kiss.

I kissed him slowly not knowing how to do it properly and he took control soon. That was heaven. I felt alive in each and every cell of my body. After felt like eternity, we both parted for air. We joined our foreheads saying in chorus "you're my soulmate"

The End❤😘👫

Please vote and comment on your thoughts. Please! Encourage me by commenting your positive thoughts and correct my mistakes by your negative comments.

If anyone feels offended or hurt, I'm really sorry. That's not my intention! Should I continue writing these types of stories or not? Opinions!?

If your opinion is yes, give me some topics about who I should write in the next story!

Thank you!❤❤

Bye👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻