Person singing

voice from in their head

She sat in the middle of the garden watching the sunset. Behind her, a noose was hanging from the veranda she smiled as she looked out.

This may be the last sunset I'll see
So I'll take it in, I'll take it in
This may be the last day that I'll breathe
I'll breathe it in, I'll breathe it in

I heard that pictures don't change
Just the people inside of 'em do
Whoever told you that life would be easy
I promise that person was lyin' to you
You got a problem with followin' through
That's why I got a problem with followin' you
You keep lookin' at me like this problem is new
But we've been here before, what you tryin' to do?

Don't talk to me like I don't know what you feeling
'Cause I was there with you back in the beginning
Quit looking away when I talk, let me finish
I'm tryna be honest, you're tryna forget me, ugh
What's wrong with you, hey?
I know that you got a lot on your plate
You keep telling me I should get out of your way

But I can't see how you gon' lie to my face

Don't tell me you fine 'cause I know that you not so don't even try
And what we gon' live for in this life full of pain
'Til we're eighty and one day we'll get up and say we regretted our lives

That's where we going
Do not pretend like you don't even notice
Funny thing is that you already know it

I'm starting to think that you like how I feel so be lost in the moment

She looks up to the sky and watches the stars come out.

This may be the last sunset I'll see
I'll take it in, I'll take it in
This may be the last day that I'll breathe
I'll breathe it in, I'll breathe it in

She stands up and goes into her room and folds up her suicide note. She puts it in her draw and goes back outside she then unties the noose and walks in her room and hides it in a draw.

"I'm so weak I can't even kill myself. Pathetic"

She sits on her chair and draws out her feelings. She feels hopeless, weak, pathetic, useless, she feels like everyone is just so fake and that they pretend to care for her.

She looks in the mirror and sees an untalented, ugly, weak, pathetic piece of shit.

She can't write good stories, she can't draw very well. She feels like she will never be good enough for anyone.

She tries to kill herself but then fear consumes her and she can't. She tries to numb all the pain inside by hurting herself but the pain is so overwhelming she can only cry.

She feels numb inside and masks her emotions and puts on fake smiles and fake emotions.

She is screaming inside.

She wants to end it all

She wants to hurt others to

People that hurt her she wants to hurt them back

She wants to make them suffer

But in the end her biggest wish that her fear wont let come true

Is to kill herself

And end it all

She thinks her final words would be

"See you in hell"

And then she would 

shoot herself

Wait for herself to bleed out

stab her heart

struggle as she tries to get more air in as the rope tightens

try to swim to the surface as her lungs fill with water

or let her body fly through the air waiting to hit the ground.

She would tell herself when she wanted to kill herself

 "I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call it Eternity!"

But fear wouldn't let her.

.(my note).

Hello everyone,

 if you're reading this I'm most likely dead.

I hated you all. Accept the people that cared for me and didn't hurt me. I'll be waiting for you love and bestie. I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend and a better girlfriend.

You'll learn to live without me, it won't be that hard since I was useless to everyone.

It wasn't your fault friends. I don't think they realised what years of bullying did to me.

Soon you'll understand me and why I did this. Soon you'll join me in hell, I was never good enough for anyone else but hey I'll be good enough for hell. Don't cry! I'll be back to haunt them and make them take everything back. They will be screaming for mercy as their flesh is burned off.

If your wondering why I never told anyone about this very clearly is because it's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. It's not a mental complaint it's a physical thing like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don't come out smooth as the way normal people's words do they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet and no one will tell you you're being dramatic.

This is what I wanted guys so don't be sad! Be happy that I did something right and accomplished a goal.

You should be happy that I'm not in pain anymore, I've finished my sentence and am a free girl! I escaped life's prison!

This is my final goodbye! See you in hell :)