I know that this seems a bit selfish but I need to get this out my system.

I'm a scientist in this. My reals name is not Abby.

A daughter-father relationship

A lot of angst. 

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My POV

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What's the point in living? We live to die, don't we? People like me are just pawns for the devil to play with. but through all this. The devil is my friend. A bad one at that but a friend. Love is just something to test people like me and you but I still seem to fall in love. With an SCP.

I grip my small knife and run my arm under ice-cold water.

Die! 

No one cares!

The world is a better place without you

You killed those poor cats! For what?

You should just die, Abby.

049 would never accept you as his daughter! 

JUST KILL YOURSELF!

I start cutting when I can no longer feel my arm.

one 

two 

three

four

and many more. 

I leave them to bleed and put on my long-sleeved shirt and then t-shirt then jumper and then lab coat.

I walk out of my office as I head to the cafeteria, I hear the other scientists and guards whisper things about me.

'Isn't she the young scientist that killed some cats?'

'She shouldn't be here'

'Wow, what happened to her for her to be working here at 13?'

Shut up...

'She is so ugly'

Shut up..

'Why does she work here again?'

Shut up.

'I bet she has no friends'

Me: "SHUT UP!" I yell at them. They go silent.

They start laughing at me, a guard hit me in the side with his gun.

Guard: "Don't tell us to shut up miss wannabe"

I feel tears run down my cheek as they laugh at me, I just sit here on the floor. I get up and out of pure rage I kick the guard in the stomach sending him flying into the wall, they all stop laughing but the guard gets up and starts beating me up.

Guard: "This is what bad girls like you get!"

I just cry as he hurts me more and more. They are just like the others. The devil's workers. Their only goal? To make my life miserable. Then they all go silent, a thud is heard and I look up to see him. 049 over the dead corpse on the man. I laugh at the sight of the dead guard making everyone concerned. I pull out the knife that I cut myself with and roll up my lab coat sleeves and plunge the knife into the guards head. Over and over.

Me: "That's what you get you bastard! The devil won't be happy that you died! He'll just send more people to drive me to insanity!"

A voice came from behind me.

Kill them

Me: "You know what? NO! I'm not killing them, I won't play into the hands of the devil"

I look up at 049, I look at his eyes, curiosity? No, fear maybe?

HE WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU NOW!

My eyes widen in shock. He will never accept me now. I look at him, a smile on my face but tears running down.

Me: "Kill me 049"

049: "Pardon?"

Me: "Just kill me!"

049: "But dear Abby you don't have the disease"

Me: "I DON'T CARE! KILL ME! YOU WON'T ACCEPT ME NOW! THE VOICES TOLD ME SO! AND THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO BE RIGHT!"

049 comes closer and kneels down in front of me and holds my hand, I don't care that it's not killing me I just look into his eyes.

049: "What do they tell you, miss Abby?"

Me: "They tell me all the things the kids in school said to me and the things the guards and scientists say to me"

049: "I don't know what they called you dear or said to you"

Me: "Here is just a short list then: Weak, Just die, pig, loner, ugly, no one will accept you, weirdo, psychopath, sociopath, attention freak, drama queen. The list goes on and on"

049 then hugged me, I tensed but then broke down and leaned into his touch.

Me: "I'm a horrible person! I killed cats that didn't deserve to die but I killed them anyway! I deserve to die!"

049: "Don't say that dear, you are loved and you don't deserve to die, you are very talented in art, you showed me yourself, you are amazing, I'd accept you no matter what"

Me: "I-I have a question"

049: "Yes dear?"

Me: "Can I be your daughter?"

049: "Of course"

I lighted up and hug him back.

Me: "Thank you so much!"

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My eyes snap open and I look around my room 'just a dream'

I get out of bed and grab my knife. I go into the bathroom and slit my wrists not too deep but not shallow either. I put on my jumper as I grab my laptop and start to listen to 'My Time by bo en' and read some stories.

People online don't judge me, they accept me for who I am, they make me smile. Music, reading and youtube make me happy.

That is the only things that do.

If I lost them I'm sure I'd snap

I'm sure I'd be good as dead.

But then

I might be able to see the SCP's

So it wouldn't be that bad right?

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End of oneshot

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*Not available*

Word count: 850 

Bye guys...for now