Quick A/N: This is not going to surround any characters or fandoms. I have no idea what this is but it is definitely different from what I typically wright. Enjoy

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I'm not a particularly greedy or needy person. Even as a young child I was apparently understanding when I couldn't get something or didn't ask for to many things. The most I ever wanted something was when I was 11 or so and wanted a laptop. I even tried working in my neighbor hood cleaning at the neighbors house. My parents told me I could stop and keep the money I had earned for myself and they would get the laptop I so dearly wanted for me themselves. I listened since I didn't want to clean other peoples houses. Though I was doubtful. My birthday came around. I got it along with a travel case for it. I was ecstatic. This was really my first chance at truly diving into the world of the internet.

All I had before was consoles this gave me access to YouTube but that's about it. We couldn't really afford games at the time so all I had was YouTube to go off. I enjoyed many different fandoms that I learned of over YouTube and of course heard of fanart and fanfiction. I loved books and art and still do. They were a passion that I could use to experience worlds, emotions, and story telling that videos and movies never could. After about two years of extensive reading and perusing art I began to become boarded.

I was never greedy and never hoped to be, till I became boarded. I couldn't find drawings that was new and interesting. Everything I saw felt lackluster. The books I read all had the same basic plot like a lot of the movies I watched did. I needed more, I needed something that was real. Not something that felt real. I tried righting my own stories. They seem to hold me for a bit and help, but it still isn't quiet helping me. I'm greedy, I need more. I don't want materials, I don't want to experience emotions and feelings, I don't know. I pretend I don't know.

Ideas, they are the vain of my existence. I have them all the time they swarm my mind and infuriate me. I question what could be the one thing that could fully satisfy me and I've come up with a theory. My favorite books, art, and stories are morbid. Every piece of art, story telling, and artistic interpretation consisted of a lot of murder, suicide, war, world domination. Murder is the most interesting. When I see art of a person being ripped open in the stomach left to bleed out, stories were you are directly put into the books as a character and had you kill in it put a smile on my face. I loved it the thought of me killing nearly everyone around me is pleasing. I want the stories and illustrations to come true, I needed them to come true.

I want to kill.