Akashi: *turns on the webcam* Hello there mortals.

*fangirl scream*

Akashi: Since That demon student of mine is in a vacation in The Bahamas today, She gave me a small request to be the host and give some random fanservice.

Fans: AKASHIIIII!!!!-SAMAAA!!!!

Me: I heard the demon student thing!

Akashi: *ignores* So here I prepared something for all of you.

Me: *in the other webcam* People including me are asking: Why does Akashi carry those twinkling scissors and how the heck can it go out into thin air?

Akashi: well that's simple mortals. I'll give you my 10 reasons why I carry these.

10th reason: Its simple. To cut snacks' wrappers

Akashi: *in a salesman uniform* have you ever experienced that you can't open that snack you bought even if you turn it all around again and again?

Murasakibara: I know. =3=

Akashi: Well Atsushi and Tenshii here have so much snacks and can't open them even if they join forces. So they turn to me to open their snacks

Me: shallow reason. For his teammates!

Fans: Awww

Me: 9th reason please...

9th Reason: "Friendly" Haircuts for friends.

Akashi: Did you ever get irritated how long, messy somebody's hair is? how badly you want to cut it? Well I have an evil plot to make Tenshii bald.

Me: Hey! you need a valid reason to cut the hair that I care about!

Akashi: It irritates me everytime it flips.

Me: =_=

Akashi: In 8th: To cut whatever prank they played

Me: Oh.. °=□=°

Akashi: Like one time they left crepe banners all around saying: "screw the emperor" also "bitch please I'm a better emperor" and "kiss my ass he's just a shrimp"

Me: *slowly points to Aomine's webcam* he did it.

Akashi: it was your handwriting

Me: He blackmailed me with cookies.

Akashi: See you two at the torture room after your vacations. So I was saying.. Kise has this thread out and if you pull it, a bell will ring that will awaken a chicken it will lay an egg then the egg will roll all the way down to my head and the chicken will peck me.

Me: so what happened next?

Akashi: i didn't trip over it. And when Kise tried to fix the trap I cut the string using my scissors.

Me: so he got pecked. Oh.

Akashi : whatever. At 7th. To cut worthless papers since they don't have any reason to be whole anymore

Me:... That sounds.. Depressing.. (|||         )...

Akashi: My father often signs me up for those useless arranged marriages. We all know that my destined person is [Your Name]. And he just could not simply shut it. So whenever a girl comes up to me and says she's arranged for a marriage with me, I ask for proof:

Girl you hate: Akashi-kyun~ We're arranged to be married!!

Akashi:.. Can I see the proof?... a lot of women pranks me with that for some reason.

Girl you hate: Sure, sweetie pie~ *holds out written agreement.

Akashi: *cuts the marriage contract in shreds*... There. Now we're not engaged. Bye. *leaves*.

Akashi: At 6th. To stab kidnappers. A.k.a: Self defense.

Me:.... Didnt I do that?

Akashi:.. Mine is much more simpler and elegant. Now then, as you know. I am the heir of the Akashi Enterprises. and my name already has a huge net worth than all of Tenshii's games combined.

Me:......You're just the last boss in the anime.

Akashi: *disconnects Tenshii from the video* Oh she had technical difficulties. *chuckles*. Where was I? Oh. yes, Since I am an heir, a lot of my father's enemies would love to kidnap me for money. But they are quite. unlucky.

Kidnapper 1: *holding Akashi* Boss! We got him-

Akashi: *murderous stare while pressing scissors on Kidnapper 1's balls*....... ..... Sir, I do think the future of your family name is much more important than money.

Kidnapper: *sweats*.. A.. As if you can stab me..

Akashi:... I just need to press it down until it bleeds..... *grins sadistically*

Kidnapper: I GIVE UP!! BOSS. THIS KID'S A NUTJOB!

Akashi: *goes back to walking normally like a normal person*.....

Kise: Oh~ I think I need to carry some scissors too!

Aomine:.... not like you would be kidnapped. Your fangirls are much more worse.

Akashi: reason 5, When you're bored.

Me: *reconnected*.. Wtf you disconnected me-

Akashi: *disconnects Tenshii again* Have you ever grown bored in class and mobile phones dont seem to give you the entertainment you wish? Well, scissors are handy for that.

Me: Oh?

Akashi: You can play the knife game. *playing the knife game in insane speed* use this as darts. *throws the scissors to the chalkboard*

Aomine: MY EYE! IT ALMOST GOT INTO MY EYE!

Akashi: or to mark your choice spot on tic tac toe. *stabs his choice of spot on paper* A round of Russian roulette too. *uses scissors to stab a dummy's head* It all depends to your imagination.

Me:.......

Akashi: At number four, To cut anything you wish to cut.

Kise: Can I cut off someone's *toot* with it?

Akashi: Very good question, my dear Ryota! Of course you can! It ranges from snack wrappers, test papers, *winks* clothing~, *coughs* gift wrappers, Aomine's head, the scammer that scammed you in Toram Online last week, evidences, body parts, herbs, spices, and chickens that you despise,

Kise:.. S.. Sugoii!!!

Akashi At number 3, Revenge.

Me: Ooh~ I liek da sound of that!!

Akashi:.. Have you ever bought a voodoo doll? I did, but I thought that pins and needles wont simply just be enough. You may use your friendly pair of scissors to stab your voodoo doll for a greater pain inducement! not only that! you may dissect humans with it!

Me:... If he was a scissor salesman he'd rake in millions..

Akashi: Thank you. But it does not end there. you may also torture someone for information with it!

Kuroko: *sparkles* How useful!!

Akashi: At number 2: as a stress reliever.

Kise: Ehh?! How?!

Akashi: Yes, we all know how to use a scissor, right? *snip snip* and we all know the famous fidget spinner, that is claimed to relieve stress. Now, what of those people who will get nervous and needs a stress reliever but they simply have their trusty pair of scissors?

Me: Go on.

Akashi: You may do the "Snip snip snip" with me and actually feel quite relieved of stress! of course, the usage of scissors are simple. Do that, and repeatedly, don't you feel relaxed?

Me:... Hmm.. what about those who dont?

Akashi:.... I feel very relaxed when I hear my scissors.

Kise:.. We DONT feel relaxed at all when we hear your scissors..

Akashi: Hush now. I do NOT stab people-

*flashback to Kuroko no Basuke Season 2*..

Me:...... O v O...... Oh really.

Akashi: and at number 1:... It is a valuable companion.

Me: How anticlimatic......

Akashi: Shut up. *disconnects Tenshii again*.. Of course, not only its used for cutting and all of the things I had mentioned. It has other, uses too! For example, you need someone to talk to: Your scissors might just be the person you need to talk to-

Aomine:....... WTF?!!

Akashi: *disconnects Daiki* You may also use it to protect the ones you love! to sew clothes for the ones you love, to slap away any flying objects without getting your hands dirty, and most of all, it's the companion you can trust. 100% Akashi Seijuro approved.

Kise:... *sweatdrops*.. and this segment will now be ending. We thank our sponsors: Midorima's carrotcake factory, Murasakibara's sweets land, and Tenshii's amusement park.

Me: Oof- Also, this is only for entertainment purposes. Please dont stab anyone's balls or eyeballs nor voodoo dolls with your scissors! > < Stay good, kiddies!!