hehehe this is a slightly misleading title.  but sadly, i must put a warning in here too.

warning: in this chapter i talk about sex, condoms, and allude to... weird things.  if you don't like that feel free to leave.

if you haven't left by now its too late.  you're stuck in here with me and thats probably not good for your sanity.

first part of today's mad sex story (okay that sounded better in my head but just hear me out):

in my public speaking class right?  we were talking about persuasive speeches and examples and we got on the topic of drug commercials, like Viagra and stuff.  we were telling stories and making fun of drug commercials because some of them are so ridiculous and unreasonable that its funny.  

this one girl in the class pipes up and is talking about how one time she saw a commercial for condoms that was like "you never know when you'll need one" and then a clip of a guy cLIMBING UP A TREE HOLDING A CONDOM AND THEN STRADDLES A BRANCH AND GOES "YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL NEED ONE"

my entire class, dead silent except for the teacher who goes "man, he's got a pretty wild sex life if he needs a condom in a tree when he's alone" AND I JUST

NO SIR

PLEASE DON'T ALLUDE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH A TREE

part two:

so i get home after school today and we're eating dinner.  tomorrow i'm going on a church trip to a temple and i'm like "mom what do i need to take with me?" and i proceed to list off everything that i've already packed in my backpack.  

my mom's like "sounds good to me.  i cant think of anything else you'd need" and we just hear my step-dad mutter "condoms" and my mom looked horrified, my brother stopped eating and i just said "what do you think we do at the temple?"  and he goes "thats right it has to be a white condom.  if you're gonna have sex in a temple you have to use a white condom." and we had a good laugh about that 

anyway that's the day i've had.  gotta say, high school in america is weird as heck XD