Depressed!reader
Requested by: glitterfaces_
Idea by: Misty_Writer
Let's just pretend their not on Tatinof yet...
UNEDITED
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It's been a few months since you've been "depressed free." Of course, there was tiny moments, but nothing major. You had a feeling of freedom in you and it was all because of your boyfriend.

His name is Phillip Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil; the one who's shipped with his roommate, Danisnotonfire (Dan Howell). He's the sweetest person you know. Like he's a literal ball of sunshine. When you first met him, he instantly brightened your day. And according to him, you brightened his.

You had been dating for about a year and Phil thought it was time to tell the internet about the two of you. Of course, you were a little nervous about it, but he quickly assured you and told you that they would love you.

Oh, how you wish you didn't believe him.

Because now here you were, sitting on your bed in tears with your laptop on your lap. A little after the video was posted, millions of comments rushed in. So you read them. What you expected was far from what you received.

Eww phil shes so uGly

Wtf wheres dan

Ummmm..... Idk if I like her

Phil, honestly, you could do sooo much better smh

You wanted to think that they just weren't used to you yet; you really did. But the fact that they were right won the inner battle.

People say that opposites attract, but when is that ever real? He's probably only dating you because he pities you. You're always sad and frowning (besides when he tries to make you laugh, it's the cutest thing) and he's always happy. You're only bringing him down. Maybe you should just break up with him; so he won't feel bad whenever he does it. That sure sounds like Phil, putting other peoples happiness before his.

More tears rushed down your face as you prepared an excuse for splitting up your relationship. There was one problem, though. There was nothing wrong with Phil. He's perfect. Should you just blame yourself then? Say that you need some space? Well, it'll defiantly work.

Just then you heard the door creak open and blue eyes peered through. Dammit, you thought, I forgot that I gave him a key.

Quickly, you wiped the tears from your face and closed your laptop. Realizing that your face was probably red, you hid your face in your hands and knees.

"(Y/n)...? What's wrong?" You heard Phil ask.

You cleared your throat and answered.

"N-Nothing, I'm fine." You reassured.

Your hands still covered your face, but you moved your head away from his direction. You heard footsteps go around the bed and in front of you. Your hands were gripped and pried from your face.

(E/c) eyes met blue ones.

His eyes were the key to his emotions. Because of his selflessness, no one could really see how he was feeling. Except for you and Dan. That's part of the reason why Dan's always with him. It's so that Phil never feels pressured into anything. You would be there in replacement, but his fans never knew you existed until the video.

Right now, his eyes said, please, stop crying. Tell me what's wrong.....

"I know you're not okay, (Y/n)." Phil whispered as he pulled you into a hug. "Tell me why you're crying, please."

You melted into his touch. His warmth engulfed your body and almost made you forget your problems. Almost.

You pulled away from his touch. The hurt look in his eyes pained you, but you knew it was for the best. Deciding that it was best to get the truth over with, you told him your feelings.

"Maybe..... maybe all of your fans are right. No, not maybe. Your fans are defiantly right. Why are you even wasting your time on me? I'm not pretty; I'm not nicest person; for gods sake, I have depression. I know your only dating me because you feel sorry for me. But trust me Phil, you faking everything isn't helping with my depression! If you think that I can't handle this by myself, then your absolutely wrong. You could just tell me you want to break up. Or does it hurt you to much? I'll do it myself then, Phil, we're breaking up." You ranted as tears continued to stream down your face.

You gave him a second to respond. You wanted him to kiss you and say that none of that's true. You wanted him to show you off to everyone and say that your his.

But all you got was silence.

"I knew it. Just leave." You whispered.

He didn't move from his spot. He just stayed there with his arms clamped around your wrists. Your head was down and you bit your lip to stop the sobs that wanted to burst out of your mouth. Please, just lea-

"(Y/n)," Phil interrupted your thoughts. "Your the most breathtaking person I've ever met. And your personality? It's perfect. I've never met someone like you. It's probably why I'm so drawn to you. Because I know that I'll never meet someone like you again. Your depression isn't going to make me see you badly; and I know you can handle it by yourself.  Your very independent. I just want to be here and help you because it makes me feel like I deserve you. When in all reality, I don't. I love you, but what we should be asking is what the hell I did to deserve you."

You lifted your head up and saw his eyes looking back.

Blue. The nicest shade there could ever be. The shade of a hazy sky on a perfect day. The shade of comfort and hugs.

And right now, it was the shade of love.

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Bye!