Oh yay, I'm not dead!
Sorry for not updating in a while, Motivation is on 0 rn.
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Doc: Run if you want to live.

Grian: *starts sprinting*

Doc: I meant away from me not towards me-

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X: Isn't it past midnight?

EX: Isn't it time you die?

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Doc: fuck gender, I want to be legally classified as a biohazard.

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Hels: Who the fuc-

Wels: Watch your language!

Hels:

Hels: Whomst the sexual intercourse hath eaten thy cookies?

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Biffa: Mothers and Fuckers of the jury, we are here today to cancel a bitch.

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Cub: You know what I love about you?

Scar: No?

Cub: Yeah, to be honest me neither

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Cleo: Something brought you here, call it what you want. Destiny, Fate, Luck, etc.

False: The cookies in the cupboard.

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EX: What do you call a fish with no eye?

X: Myxine circifrons.

EX:

EX: ...fsh

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Bdubs: I never know what to say at funerals

Grian: Just say "I'm sorry for your loss." and then, move on.

-~[Later, at some funeral]~-

Bdubs: I'm sorry for your loss. Move on.

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X: What's your new year's resolution?

Etho: 1080p

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Wels: I'm such a failure

Hels: Yes, you are.

Wels: I've failed

Hels: Yes, you did.

Wels: ...I could use some words of encouragement or comfort

Hels: Yes, you could.

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X: If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Grian: Why does the sky change colors? Like, how does the sky turn orange when the sun sets?

X:

Mumbo: That's the result of a phenomenon called scattering. You see, molecules and small particles in the atmosphere change the direction of the light rays, causing them to scatter. Because of this-

X: If anyone has any RELEVANT questions, feel free to ask.

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Grian: You all pay to go to haunted houses to get scared? Pfft.

Grian: You know, sitting alone with your thoughts is free.

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Ren: Tell me a joke

Doc: You look great today

Ren: thanks!

Ren:

Ren: wait-

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False: Do you have a crush?

X: The only crush I have is the crushing weight of my existence.

False:

X: How about you?

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Mumbo: I have the advantage in height.

Grian: Well your kneecaps don't.

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Etho: What's your favorite amusement park ride?

Bdubs: The horse tornado!

Etho:

Etho: ...You mean the carousel-?

Bdubs: The. Horse. Tornado.

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Cub: I hate everyone.

Etho: Everyone? Even Scar?

Cub: I said every one, Etho, not every ten.

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Etho: I'd say I'm an early bird.

Grian: I would say I'm more of a night owl

X: well, I'm a permanently exhausted pigeon.

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Cub: Why are your shoes wet?

Bdubs: There was a puddle.

Cub: Why did you step in it?

Bdubs: It's a puddle, Cub.

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Grian: I just figured out the word 'hurt'

Grian: It's the past, present, and future.

Grian: You were hurt, You are hurt, you will be hurt

Grian: Because if something is truly hurt, it will never stop.

Iskall: You poetic little shit-

X: Isn't it because... it's an adjective?

EX: You were stupid, you are stupid, you will be stupid.

EX: Because if you're truly stupid, you will never stop being stupid.

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Jevin: Iskall, where have you been? You left your cell phone on your desk and I assumed you were dead.

Iskall: I would clearly be buried with my phone.

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-~[Watching a horror movie]~-

Grian: Are you scared?

Etho: In this economy who wouldn't be.

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X: It wouldn't kill you to meet some new people-

EX: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens.

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Mumbo: How do I look in this?

Iskall: Words can't describe how beautiful you are.

Mumbo: Aw thanks Iskall-

Iskall: But numbers can.

Iskall: 3/10.

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Etho: Grian, what wrong?

Grian: *sitting down while staring blankly at a wall* Is sand called sand because it's between sea and land?

Etho:

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Bdubs: I want to be a bartender

Bdubs: everyone named Bart, beware.

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EX: I may seem like an asshole

EX: But deep down, I'm a good person

EX: And even deeper down, I'm an asshole

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Iskall: Me and Stress are no longer friends.

Stress:

Stress: Iskall, that's the worst way to tell people we're dating-

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Bdubs: Could you be any more annoying!?

Etho: Oh you have no idea.

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Impulse: Okay everyone, let's solve this like adults.

Tango: You're telling me rock-paper-scissors is mature?

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Scar: What's heavier? A pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?

Grian: Feathers

Scar: Nope, they're the same-

Grian: Actually, a pound of bricks is just bricks, but carrying a pound of feathers also means that you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those pesky birds.

Scar:

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Bdubs: Am I in trouble?

Doc: take a guess.

Bdubs: ...No?

Doc: take another guess.

Bdubs:

Bdubs: Absolutely no?

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Bdubs: Y'know, It's nice to feel wanted.

Etho: Not by the law, it isn't.

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Hels: You always piss me off.

Wels: Well, art is supposed to evoke emotions.

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Scar: I don't care if you don't like space puns.

Scar: I like space puns.

Bdubs: Scar, please.

Scar: Comet me bro.

Bdubs: *Sigh*

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Grian: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Mumbo: I had that dream, except you go in the other direction.

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Iskall: Trans rights!

Hels: What about Trans lefts?

Iskall: That's not what I-

Hels: Filthy exclusionist.

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Etho: Should I stay out of it?

X: Yes.

Etho: Will I stay out of it?

X: No.

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Doc: Remember kids,

Doc: Stay in drugs, eat your school, don't do vegetables.

Bdubs:

Etho:

Beef:

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Joe: Reading is fun because you get to cry about other people's problems instead of yours.

Cleo: Joe, you're reading Harry Potter.

Joe: And?

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