(Weezer's Africa cover starts playing on the radio)

Candy: Ooh, now we're talking! Who put this on?

Chica: Oh, this song sounds familiar! What is it, again?

Freddy: Oh, I don't know. It's just on shuffle.

Candy: I'm sorry- wait. You haven't heard this yet? This is Weezer's cover of Africa! It's good, right?

Golden Freddy: Weezer? I didn't even know they were still a band.

Candy: *laughs* Yeah, where the hell have you been, Goldie? I mean, they just set a release date for the freakin' "Black" album... I mean, they're playing New Year's Rockin' Eve! Come on, it's Weezer!

Golden Freddy: O-oh, okay. Yeah.

Foxy: ...So you're a Weezer fan? Ha.

Bonnie: *sighs* Foxy, please, it's Christmas.

Foxy: Oh no, no, I'm just asking him a question! Sounds like you're into the new stuff!

Candy: Damn straight! I mean, I think they're doing some cool things right now.

Foxy: *laughs*

Bonnie: Foxy, be coooool-

Foxy: I'm just a little confused, because... real Weezer fans know that they haven't had a good album since "Pinkerton". In '96!

Candy: Oooooh! Uh-oh, looks like we have a purist in the house! Alright, alright, alright, I'm gonna have fun with this!

Chica: *awkward laugh* What's happening... right now?

Foxy: What's happening is that Weezer put out two perfect albums, "Blue" and "Pinkerton", and the rest was... pretty corny?

Candy: Whaaaaa- well, that's your opinion, but me? I'm ride or die.

Chica: ...For Weezer?

Foxy: *laughs* They've been trash since 2001, son!

Candy: Well, if you think that, you're not gonna like what I'm about to say!

Golden Freddy: Well, then, please don't say it.

Candy: "Pork and Beans" is better than "Buddy Holly". 

Foxy: OH- Oh, I'm sorry- you're dumb! You're dumb! Freddy, tell him he's dumb!

Freddy: Uh, is this a thing people care about?

Bonnie: No. No, it isn't.

Candy: Oh, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Lemme guess: you only listened to the first two records?

Foxy: Hey, man, I'll go all the way up to the "Green" album. Yeah?

Candy: Oh, you know what- you know what you sound like right now? Okay, hold on- here's what you sound like. You sound like, "Oh, I'm stuck in 1994! High school's awesome!" Why don't you grow the hell up? Listen to "Raditude"! Listen to "Pacific Daydream"! 

Foxy: AHA- *laughs harder* "Pacific Daydream" is not music, man!

Candy: ...

Candy: No offense, but burn in hell. I mean... you just don't understand what Rivers is going through right now!

Foxy: *squeezes a glass until it shatters* BITCH. RIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT RIVERS IS GOING THROUGH! I UNDERSTAND RIVERS BETTER THAN HE UNDERSTANDS HIMSELF!

Freddy: ...I'm gathering that Rivers might be a guy in Weezer?

Candy: Wait, lo- look. Can we all just agree that Weezer is the best band of all time?

Everyone else: NO!

Foxy: And then, they became the worst band of all time!

Candy: WHA- Have you even listened to Memories?!

Foxy: OHOHO- YOU. ARE. A GROWN. ASS. MAN. YOU'RE BRINGING UP STUFF FROM HURLEY?!

Candy: IT. WAS. IN. JACK. ASS. 3. D!

Foxy: *breathy laugh* Weezer died when Matt Sharp left.

Candy: Weezer didn't start until Scott Shriner got there!

Foxy: Oh, YOU TRYNA DIE. *starts charging towards Candy*

Everyone else: *yelling in protest and holding him back* 

Bonnie: NO, NO, NO, FOXY, CALM DOWN. I WILL TESTIFY THIS TIME!