Ideals.

Expectations.

Both things that any member of the human race has had at one time or another.

Both things I wish we could erase from our vocabulary.

Raise you're hand if you're one of the people who've gotten your hopes up about SOMETHING.

Now, all you others who think your life has been a cake walk, quit fooling yourself, snap out of it, and put your hand up too. Because at one time or another, your plans have and inevitably will be screwed with. Ideals and expectations pollute every single solitary aspect of life. I wish I could say otherwise.

Ready for example-time? I thought you might be.

I used to dream about seeing the Statue of Liberty. It was going to be the pinnacle of my traveling as a young girl. My excitement was uncontainable that riding the ferry over to the historical landmark that would change my life. I stepped off the boat, disposable camera at the ready and the hugest grin on my face - and there it was. My smile was frozen on my lips, but there was no longer any excitement. I dunno, perhaps I thought there would be something more than the corroding copper and solemn face of Lady Liberty - fireworks? A marching band? I'm not sure. But obviously, what I'd expected was NOT what I ended up seeing on that trip.

Oh, don't worry, I have stories about ideals too.

My very first crush.

I swear I just heard my readers' bitter laughter from a thousand miles away.

But it's true. My first crush set up my ideals for the rest of my relationships.

And let me tell you, he was quite the looker. He made me laugh, had great eyes - and I'd known him since we were toddlers. Naturally, I was embarrassed to admit any feelings toward him whatsoever. I was 10, after all.

So you can imagine my humiliation when the entire third grade class found out about my crush - including him.

My perfect, fairy-tale, pre-teen fantasy was shattered to bits the moment I found out my secret had been revealed. My idealistic belief that maybe, just maybe, he would actually like me back - down the drain.

I got over it...eventually.

But I'm still clinging to that image of him, I think - that perfect, giddy feeling I had when I saw him.

He was my ideal.

And now that he's not a possibility, I'm not sure I'm willing to let go of the ideal of him.

I know, I was 10, move on.

But I can't deny the fact that the experience will be forever imprinted on my mind. A constant nagging at the back of my brain, hey, remember the last time you let your feelings dictate your actions? That ended up in smoke, didn't it? Sure wouldn't want THAT to happen again.

So I guess I've been doomed by my own expectations, forever to sit pouring out my heart onto these digital pages, waiting for my idealistic guy to show up on my doorstep. I suppose I'll be forever trapped within my own ideals, left to fantasize about my Mr. Right (who may or may not ever show up).

Isn't it fun, being human?