A/n: low key into Peter (Divergent)... 👀

"Come on Brain!" Someone in the crowd shouted. My teeth grit. I hated that nickname. It wasn't like Tris'. It wasn't 'Stiff'. I only wish it was. That name was something she was used to as a Stiff. It's what a ton of people called her. Not really that big of a deal. It was something she'd heard a ton of times from a ton of different factions. This wasn't a tease, poking fun at her old faction. This was a taunt. I had been in Erudite, but so had plenty of other people. No one called them that. Just me. And it was because I was smart. And I helped people. I used my knowledge of math to throw blades perfectly and my knowledge of people to weave my way to the top without anyone really noticing me until it was too late.

Once things got serious, I failed at not being noticed, but I really don't consider that a bad thing. It meant I was a threat and that meant I was succeeding. But before our names were being ranked on a board and everyone was clambering around it, eyes widening as I hit top five, seeming to come out of nowhere... I was nothing. The one person who had noticed me? Peter.

Some people might say that was a bad thing. But I wasn't some people.

My eyes focused again as Peter and I circled in the ring. He looked at me, worried. I nodded and he firmed his steps again, getting back into the fight and the act. He went to attack me but I knew he was pulling his punches. Taking it easy on me, eh? Well, I'll make you regret that.

Dodging his first hit, I slipped to the side while also twisting my body, catching his upper arm with both of my hands and using footing to spin around, dragging him after me. His footing was already off because he threw himself forward to punch me, but now it was completely gone as I pulled him forward. He fell on his hands and knees and I bent over him, locking my hands and arms around his head in a way that I could snap his neck with one move.

"What the-" he breathed.

A chuckle escaped my lips. "Don't go easy one me next time, Princess," I teased.

He grunted. "I wasn't," he lied.

My hands dropped and I moved away from him. "You pulled your punches, Peter. Come on." I stood up and he turned around. I offered my hand in truce and he pursed his lips, embarrassed but a bit humbled. At least in front of me. He took my hand and I pulled him up.

"Brain!" A loud voice snapped. I spun around, ready to shut someone up, when I came face to face with Eric. I froze.

On the defense, I went stoic and emotionless. "What?" I asked, it somehow coming out strong and fearless, my body still and my voice confident in a way I didn't feel. Eric terrified me. And Peter knew it.

The older man glared down at me. "Why did you stop?" Eric asked, looking at me through slit eyes.

My hands clasped behind my back, my nails digging into my palms so that I could remain calm and in control. "Because if I'd kept going the way I was going, I would have snapped his neck and killed him," I argued. My eyes slit as well and I glared at Eric. "Did you want me to kill him, Eric? Is that what you wanted?" Eric's jaw clenched and unclenched. "Tell me, Eric. Am I going to get one of your psychotic punishments because I wouldn't kill a fellow trainee?" I challenged.

Eric glared at me. "No. You're going to get one of my psychotic punishments because of your tongue." His hand wrapped around my upper arm and threw me back into the ring. I flew back, landing on my side and rolling. My head snapped up and I glared at Eric's feet. "TRIS!" He shouted. "IN THE RING!" My eyes looked over to the steadily rising, secret girl who walked onto the fighting stand.

Standing and rolling my shoulders, I rubbed my nose that had hit the floor and kind of hurt. She gave me a small smile and I nodded back, acknowledging her. This was the girl. She was different, but I didn't know how. I could see it in the things she did and what she said. The conversations she took part in - and the ones she didn't. She was different than everyone else. But... Was she my different? Was she just different or was she like me?

There was a yell and we began circling each other. She went to attack me and I moved to the side. Then I blinked and I was on my back, looking at the ceiling. What just happened?! There was a cheer and I recognized it as one of her friends. Christina. I rolled as she went to attack me, and pushed myself onto my feet. Tris looked over at me, surprised. "That won't happen again," I huffed, ready. I needed to stop underestimating people. This wasn't Peter. She wasn't going to go easy one me.

You know what? Good. I need someone to take me seriously. Relaxing and focusing, I looked at her, my expression hard. Then I realized something. I didn't need to win this. I was number two, under Peter. I was safe. Tris... Tris wasn't. This wasn't about me winning every fight. This was about keeping people you can trust and people who can fight - even people who just need to learn a bit to fight as well as needed - in Dauntless. And I could trust Tris. Tris could fight now and was getting better every day. She stood up for her friends and her family and even her old faction. She was different. And I was sure she was Divergent. Just like me. And I needed someone like that.

So I let her win.

My arm hurt afterwards because Eric yelled at her to finish it, but it wasn't broken. She'd pulled that punch but we'd made eye contact and I nodded. I got it. She pulled the punch and I over dramatized it. Eric was pleased. After practice, I raced to my room, and sat on my bed. I wonder what Tris was thinking right now...

---

"Hey!" I turned around and my eyes locked with Peter's as he approached me. I smirked. He was with his friends so I'm sure this wasn't the kind of visit I wanted from Peter, but it was necessary. He couldn't show favorites to anyone, right?

My arms crossed over my chest and my hip popped, my attitude coming to my rescue as always. "What's up, Princess?" I asked.

Peter's face twisted genuinely. "Don't call me that," he grumbled. Even when he was my Peter, he still hated me calling him that. So I took every chance to use the nickname to piss him off. I was really just flirting, but if I could piss him off in the process, then go for it, right?

Still smirking, my tongue sat on the back of my teeth. "Aw, you don't like that name?" I joked, a smile tugging at my lips. We did this all the time. Back and forth teasing and banter to make people think that we were annoyed with each other. Not enemies, but not friends either. This was usual.

Peter rolled his eyes like I was the dumbest person alive. "No. I don't." He glared at me. I was surprised really because he actually looked angry.

Unwilling to give in to his stupid little act he felt he needed to put on, I kept going. "Well sorry, Princess. Didn't mean to anger you." I did speak lighter though, trying to get back to a lighter mood. I just seemed to piss him off even more. "Did you want something or are you here just to tell me not to call you Princess?"

He paused before shaking his head,"You know what? Forget it. Don't fall in the Pit, Brain." I stepped back as he turned around and stormed away. He'd called me... Defensive and genuinely hurt, I folded my arms and turned away as well, walking quickly to get away. Fine, Peter. Be an asshole. I don't care. I don't. I don't care.

But no matter how much I said it, all I could see was his angry eyes and hear the name coming from his mouth and my stomach clenched and my heart hurt in a way it never had before.

---

Everyone went in one at a time and I tapped my finger on my thigh nervously. What would my fears be? Would they be the same as last time? Would I show my Divergence this time? Would I be better at hiding it? My name was called and I stepped forward, nervous. I lay on the chair and the needle went into my neck. My eyes wandered to the side and I swore that I saw a familiar pair or eyes looking at me nervously before I passed out.

Peter?

~

My eyes reopened and I was shocked to see I was in my room. Wait, this couldn't be..? I froze, not sure what to expect or who was coming in to confront me.

There was silent.

Then it was shattered.

BANG! The door flew open and my head snapped in that direction to see my dad walk in. His eyes blazed in anger and I shrunk away, skittering to the opposite side of the room. I sunk into the corner as he walked to me quickly, his feet hitting the floor firmly. I screamed as he rose his hand.

Fighting. Instinct kicked in and I rolled away a second before whatever was in his hand hit me in the face. I was on my feet and running before I knew what was going on. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough... I never was. His hand wrapped around my upper arm, throwing me back. I gasped, pain flaring through my body as I smashed into the wall. Struggling to my feet, I looked up at him. This isn't real, I reminded myself. This is a dream. This is fake. I'm okay. A sudden flare of adrenaline and courage surged through me but I suppressed it, thinking not what I would do but what a Dauntless would do.

Survive. A dauntless would survive. Fight. A Dauntless would fight too. So fight and survive and then I'll move on to the next fear.

Man... I had to do this six times? Really? I already felt raw. Letting the adrenaline flow and giving in to the speedy feeling, I analyzed his movements and the way he sneered at me. He was angry. Distracted. I could use that. My eyes flickered to the door of my room. Distract him, run. If I got through that door, I'd book it to the front door. Hopefully the horror would end then. Reaching my hand out, I grabbed a pillow as he charged me again, flinging it at him. It didn't hurt him, but he stumbled back, swatting it away, genuinely surprised. The second I threw it, I took off running, and in his distraction, I hit my room door at full force and flung open the door. I ran through but froze as I didn't recognize the room I was in.

SLAM! I spun around, the door was not the door to my room. It was shut tight and sealed. Weird. I turned back around and there stood two people. Eric and Peter. Also weird. Eric and Peter sat there talking and curious, I moved forward. "So I just have to kill her?" Peter mused. Kill? Peter would kill someone. I believe that. But who?

Confirming, Eric nodded. "Yeah. You did well. Making her think you like her and all. I'm impressed." Eric smiled sickly, as if to enunciate that he was, and Peter seemed proud. Her? What was going on? Who were they talking about? "Brain is going to be the perfect little experiment," Eric added. Peter... laughed.

After a few seconds I realized I wasn't breathing. My hand extended as I grabbed the wall, trying not to fall. My head started spinning and I gasped, desperately trying to breath. Fight. Fight. Fight. Survive. Move on. I straightened my back, and slowly put one foot in front of another. Slowly, ever so slowly, I picked up my pace, somehow swallowing the  pain coursing through my veins. I walked past Peter, in between him and Eric, slamming my shoulder into Peter's. He gasped, realizing I heard.

But I was brave. And I faced my fear. And I'd won, so I don't care. Then it went pretty bad. Eric sighed. "Kill her now then."

Whipping around, I noticed that we were suddenly somewhere else. Our outfits were pitch black and I ducked a solid punch from Peter. He grunted as he swung around and immediately fear swallowed me. His eyes were angry and burning and murderous. He wasn't holding back now. I forgot this fear. Fighting Peter and not being strong enough or good enough to beat him when he really tried. That all the times I did beat him were because he held back. That I was actually weak and my best, strongest moments were fake.

Survive. That's all I thought, the whole time. The need to survive was the only thing that I could think of to overcome the chocking fear. Survival.

Somehow I ended up on top when we hit the floor, me kicking him down and him pulling me down with him. I gasped and when his eyes lock on mine, they soften. "You passed," a voice sounded. I looked up to see Janine approaching us. I was confused. I looked around and we were in a simulator room, in white and blue clothing instead of the rich black from seconds before, and she was smiling at me. "That test was a success..." She nodded and I looked down at Peter as he moved away from me, nodding in a proud, approving way.

Pushing to my feet, I looked around. "I... Don't understand," I told her.

She kept that smile, but it felt wrong. Cold. Devoid of real emotion or comfort or warmth. "You will. You may speak to her, Peter," she added, looking from me to Peter.

He moved forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.  "I'm so proud of you," he whispered. This was weird. Being together like this. In public. But I loved it. I buried my face in his neck and the fact that this was fake left my brain and I smiled a small, shy smile. "I love you," he whispered.

My heartbeat sped up. "I love you too," I whispered back.

He kissed my cheek. "I know you do," he sighed, rubbing my back. He sounded so sad, his tone heavy and sorrowful.

Leaning back to face him, I tilted my head, my eyebrows coming together. "What's wrong?" I asked, worried. He smiled, his tone reflected in the sadness of the movement. He stepped back and let his arms drop. I looked at Janine and she held a gun out to me. Confused, I took it. "What exactly do you want me to do with this?" I asked, still confused.

"Shoot him," Janine ordered in a monotone voice.

My body went stiff and I stepped back. "What?" I asked, my tone empty.

She still had that empty smile as she nodded towards the gun in my hand and then at Peter. "Shoot him," she repeated.

"It's okay," Peter assured, offering a small smile. "You need to pass the last test. Kill me and it's okay. You'll be better." His smile got a bit bigger. Mercilessly, it was then that I remembered. This wasn't real. Holy crap it felt real though.

Gritting my teeth, my eyes watering, I rose the gun, pointing it at Peter. I wanted to close my eyes but my eyelids didn't respond and it was probably for the best. Show no fear. Give no weakness. My finger curled, pressing down and the gun shot sounded and I jumped.

Only then did my eyes close.

When they opened again I was shocked to see that there was no difference. What the heck? Who had turned the lights off on the world? I gulped. I didn't like the dark. Ridiculous fear, I know. What am I, two? The thing was, I wasn't afraid of monsters under my bed or boogie men creeping towards me. You can't see in the dark. You can't see who or what is around you and if someone can in some way, you're at a major disadvantage. But the worse thing about the dark is not being with someone that could attack you. It's possibly being with no one at all, unsure if you're completely alone. Being completely and totally by yourself and not knowing it. There could be a murderer two feet away from you... But what if there was no one? For miles and miles and miles? And you didn't even know it? Or worse, what if there was someone there, and as a cruel joke, they stayed silent to make you feel alone? Either way, the space around me seemed to make me feel empty. I remember staying up nights and looking at the door, wishing to crack it so that I could get some light but knowing that if I got out of bed, I'd get beaten. So I'd stayed there and suffered, eventually falling asleep. Usually.

Trying to focus on conquering this fear instead of falling into it, I took a deep breath in and then out, shaking my head slowly. Clearing my mind. So I was stuck in the dark. What could I do to conquer this fear? "Hello?" I called out again. My voice sounded squeaky and small. I realized I felt small too. I felt like a kid again, lost in the dark, by myself, scared and lonely, unable to fall asleep. And even if I did, sometimes I'd get nightmares and I'd just wake up again. Sleep sucked.

Sleep. Of course. To conquer my fear I had to fall asleep. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted, and I lay down, curling into a ball, and somehow fell asleep.

---

"Y/n? Hun? Wake up." My eyes opened and I looked around me. Everyone stared at me, shocked. I looked at my feet, slipping off the bed, crossing my arms over my chest, and moving quickly out of the room. At the door I felt a hand on my upper arm. I looked up to see Four.

His eyes were gentle and my defensiveness fell away. "I know that feeling. The feeling of weakness. Of having a parent..."He stopped himself. "If you need to talk, I'm here. For support, or whatever. Or advice. I don't know." He looked straight ahead, stoic and monotone, but I saw something flicker in his eyes and I just nodded, leaving.

As I walked, I rubbed my face, bumping into walls that I couldn't see. "Why was I in so much of your Fear Landscape?" A familiar voice asked.

I looked over to see Peter. "Because I'm afraid," I answered vaguely.

His face was unreadable. "Of?" He challenged.

A sigh escaped my lips and I felt exhausted, but I pushed myself to answer the question. "First fear: my abusive father," I began reciting in a cold tone. He flinched. "Second fear: Your feelings for me being fake." I didn't meet his eyes as I said this. He didn't speak but a movement caught my eye and I realized he clenched his fists. "Third fear: Fighting You. Really and fully. And losing. Forth fear: everything between us being real and you and I being in love... And having to kill you. Shoot you, precisely." I mumbled this, my jaw locking and having to work it lose to continue. I felt exposed but I didn't stop talking. If I did, I wouldn't be able to keep going after that. "Fifth fear: darkness. Being lost in it." A shiver went down my spine. "Sixth fear: being alone. Completely and totally."

Suddenly I was enveloped in arms and lips pressed to mine. "First of all, my feeling for you aren't fake. I... I love you, Y/n." I looked up, shocked. "Second of all, no one will ever hurt you again. I swear to you. I'll die before someone lays a hand on you."

My eyes welled with tears. "That's the problem, Peter. I can't lose you," I whispered weakly.

"You won't. Because the same way I protect you, I take care of myself. And you protect me too. Plus you're pretty badass so I don't have to worry too much about you - even though I will anyway. Which leads me to point number three. If you want me to stop going easy on you, I will. And we could do after class training so you can learn how to fight and stuff. Maybe you could call in a favor with Tris and get her or Four to help..." He didn't seem to like that idea all too much, but offered it and it made me smile. "Fourth, you'll never be alone. I won't allow it. I'll be by your side forever."

My eyes looked into his as I fought a smile, ever challenging him. "And my fear of darkness?" I asked, smirking now.

He smiled as well, his fingers running along my jaw. "Well, everyone has to be afraid of something, right?" He asked, shrugging.

I chuckled, pulling him down to kiss me again. "I'm okay with being afraid of losing you. You can be my weakness, Peter. I'm okay with that."

His breath fell against my face as our foreheads pressed together. "Well, you're already my weakness, so I guess we're even."

A soft chuckle came from me, blowing air against Peter's lips. "Perfect."