"If things get ugly, hold her back," Jace commanded Alec.k

"As if he'll be able to," I sneered. "That's my brother."

"We all want to save Matt, okay?" Alec whispered. "Don't ruin this."

"Shut up, Alec," I snapped. Before he could respond, we were in front of the beast. The vampire that had stolen my twin brother. Clary and Jace stepped forward, trying to bargain with the man, but he laughed, looking at me.

"Step forward and claim your brother, coward," he snapped at me. Surprised, Clary and Jace stepped back and I took a step forward.

"Give him back," I ordered.

"Whoo hoo! Coming into our territory and making demands. Don't push your luck, darling."

"Give him back," I repeated.

"What makes you think you'll want him back?" The vampire asked in a low voice.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Clary asked. She was so new! Never engage a vampire you're bartering with in conversation. They were always baiting you!

"Give him back," I repeated before the vampire could speak.

"The girl asks a good question. This thing is, he might not be the same boy you remember... in fact, he went through a few changes..." the vampire let his teeth show and my eyes went wide.

They changed him?!

"ARG!" I screamed, charging the vampire. I was about to jump onto him and rip his teeth out of his jaw when Alec's arms immediately wrapped around me, holding me back. "LET ME GO!" I screamed. "LET ME GO!"

"Alec get her out of here!"

"No Alec! ALEC DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE! JACE! JACE YOU NEED ME FOR THIS! JAAAAACE!"

Alec dragged me away, basically wrapping his arms around me and throwing me over his shoulders. He began walking away and I was screaming, thrashing around. The people on the street couldn't see or hear us but if they could, we'd be in trouble. But we weren't and he dragged me away into a church. He let me drop and I went to run away to get back but he wrapped me into his chest, my back pressing to him, trying to get me to be still.

"Let me go," I growled.

"No," he answered smoothly.

"Alec-'

"Look, Y/n, I know you're new to us. To having a group of people. You're used to it just being you and your brother. You're used to being in command and charging into situations recklessly. You're used to kill on sight. That's not how we work. We're a team, and generally, Jace is in charge. You need to-"

"Be like you?" I asked.

"What does that mean?"

"Being Jace's partner. His best friend. But not in life. In battle. You love him but he doesn't return your feelings so you hide them and run around like his little lap dog." He was so shocked that I pulled away from him, but I turned and went further into the church, instead of leaving it. "I don't hide my feelings. Well, I do, but not like that. And I guess you have a justified reason. But under no circumstances am I someone's lap dog." I looked at Alec straight in the face. "If my brother dies tonight, or comes back harmed or turned, I'll take him and leave and neither of us will be coming back."

"What?"

"Be glad I'm not promising to kill each and every one of you," I snapped. I sat down in the first pew silently and stayed there the rest of the night.

I was a liar. A hypocrite. Yelling at Alec for hiding his feelings for Jace...

When I was hiding my feelings for Alec.

---

My fists contacted with the punching with a satisfying BOOM. Again and again and again and again, harder each time. Finally all the angry energy was out of my body and I gasped, stepping back. I moved to grab my water bottle on the floor and took a drink.

"You're doing it wrong." I chocked on my water, then spit it out at my feet. Once I caught my breath, I looked over to see Alec. He was smiling, amused. That smile... "Did I scare you?"

"No. I choked on water for fun," I sassed weakly. My guard was down and my body was desperately trying to draw in breath.

"Well I'm sorry," he summarized.

"Whatever. What do you want, Alec?"

"Are you leaving? They all said you were..."

"Yeah." I stood up straight, turning my back to face him.

"Your brother isn't."

"No," I agreed.

"So why're you?"

"Because I don't belong here. He does. You'll all be better off without me anyway." I turned back to the bag, bringing my fists up again. I gasped as hands were placed on my waist and I turned to see Alec very close to me. What the...?

"Move your hips like this. That will give it a harder impact and therefore a better effect." He let his hands drop and he stepped back, looking at me as if nothing had happened. Of course. He was instructing me. I looked down at my feet.

"Okay." I turned and left the room. I'd been planning on leaving tomorrow morning but it had to be tonight. I couldn't be around Alec anymore.

Getting into my room, I packed up the few belongings I had into my black backpack and got dressed into black clothes. As I left my room - no, not mine. As I left the room, I sighed and made my way to the exit.

"WAIT!" I turned to see Matt run up to me, ramming into me. He clung to me desperately. The young boy was only fourteen and thankfully still human even though he'd almost been turned into a vampire.

That seemed so long ago. So much had happened since then. We saved Matt and brought him here and he'd been so adamant about staying here, but I knew that I couldn't. Not with how I was being tied down. Not with how I wasn't in charge. Not with how Alec loved Jace and Jace loved Clary who loved him back. Not with how I was falling for Alec...

"I have to go, Matty," I told him.

"But I don't want you to go! No one does! Even Alec says he'll miss you." I tensed. Matt knew I liked Alec. He was too observant. And even though he'd never given any signs on knowing, I knew he knew. "Alec doesn't want you to go either. Maybe you could fall in love with someone else. Anyone else. Maybe he'll like you back. Maybe - maybe it won't matter anymore. But you have to stay. We were never happy on our own. Never really safe. Now we can be. We can have a bigger family and a home and a place to really stay. You can't be all alone... Don't let Alec stop you from being happy, here, with me..."

I felt my heart shatter. "I can't just... un-fall in love, Matty. You'll be happy here and I'll be happy you're there. I'll visit every now and again. Send letters. Call. Ya know how it is. But I gotta go, kiddo. I'm sorry."

"You're leaving because you're use in love with Alec?"

I froze. Slowly turning, I locked eyes with Clary first, then Jace, then Izzy, who'd spoken, and lastly, Alec. My eyes watered and I looked down, ashamed and embarrassed. I pushed Matt off of me and turned and ran out of the institute, disappearing into the night. I heard them behind me, racing to try and catch up. I heard them call my name.

But I was long gone.

••

I guess I broke my promise. I didn't visit. I didn't call or write letters. I couldn't go there knowing that Alec would be there and that they would demand to know what happened and why. Demand that I stay there and not to leave over something so stupid. Clary would probably say I was a coward, running from something like that. Izzy and Jace would frown and look at me pityingly, knowing what it's like to love someone you can't have because they really can't have relationships. And Alec's face of awkwardness and guilt because he could never return my feelings...

But things changed when a boy saved me from a demon I was fighting.

He had light hair and blue eyes and a smirk to die for. He nodded at me. His name was Jack and he joined me on my little adventures. He was a werewolf and the two of us worked well together. He had no pack and I didn't ask why. I had no friends or family and he didn't ask why. We learned to be alone together.

And slowly, my feelings for Alec faded and my feelings for Jack grew.

His feelings for me grew much more innocently and quickly and he asked me out many times before I even admitted to myself that I liked him.

After a year, I finally agreed to go out with him. He took me on a date and from there, everything changed.

I hadn't seen Matt in two years.

Now, standing before the Institute, Jack next to me, our hands intertwined, I hesitated.

Would Matt be mad at me? Would he be dead? Or trained? Would he be all marked up with runes or have really good fighting skills? Would he be a completely different person? Would he hate me or would he be happy to see me? I wonder if he grew his hair out like he'd always wanted. I wondered...generally how much he'd changed in two years.

Because the possibilities were endless.

I finally knocked on the door and Jack dropped my hand after giving a reassuring squeeze as it opened. There stood Izzy. She looked different, but not by much. Her eyes went wide when she saw me. She opened the door for us. "Who's your friend?" She asked me.

"Jack, meet Izzy. Er, Isabelle."

"You can call me Izzy," She told him, her eyes flicking to me, leaving me wondering if she was reassuring me or informing Jack. "I'll go get the others..."

She left, only for Jace to soon take her place. He didn't look too different either. Clary soon joined. Then Izzy finally came back, Matt trailing behind her. He froze in the hall when his eyes landed on me. "M-Marie?" He asked. I smiled, my eyes watering. I nodded and a huge grin crossed his face. He raced at me and enveloped me in a hug. His hair had gotten darker and he had grown it out. He had a few runes here and there peeking out, but not everywhere. He could wear short sleeves and still seem fairly unmarked. He'd gotten a lot taller too. "Tell me you're staying," he whispered.

"Uh-"

"Hey what's all the commotion?" A familiar voice asked. I looked up to see Alec walk into the room. I felt no tug in my chest anymore which was relieving. I did feel awkward though as our gazes met. It wasn't him that had spoken though. It was the man next to him who came out shirtless. Alec's hair was messed up and you could tell the two had been making out.

"Magnus Bane," I realized. "Interesting." I looked between the two and Magnus smirked while Alec looked to the side, blushing.

"Been a while. What, three years?" Bane asked.

"Two," I corrected.

"Who's your friend?" Alec asked, looking at Jack.

"I'm Jack," Jack finally spoke up. "Her boyfriend." I nudged him and he looked at me, calming down. I'd told him about Alec... oops? Alec's eyes widened, looking between Jack and me. Jack's hand slipped into mine and I blushed, looking to the side as Alec had done earlier with Bane.

So we were both in other relationships. Ironically, considering the last time we'd seen each other...

"We actually are getting ready for a hunt," Clary told me. "Matt is joining us tonight. Do you... want to come?" She looked at me.

"Yeah, sure," I nodded. "Two more pairs of hands might do you some good." I smiled but I knew it was going to be awkward. I could already feel it.

••

It was Clary with Jace, Izzy with Simon, Jack with Bane and Matt, leaving Alec to go with me. Jack didn't care really - he trusted me. He just wanted to make sure I was okay with it. Once I said yes, we were all set. Jace and Clary came in first, Izzy moving to catch attentions of our target and lead him away to where Simon, Jack, Matt, and Bane were waiting. Alec and I were outside on look out.

Unfortunately, it gave us a lot of time to talk.

"So, where have you been the last two years?"

"Around," I shrugged.

"When did you meet Jack?"

"About a year and a half ago."

"How long have you been dating?"

"Six months or so." A pause. "You and Bane?"

"I don't know how long we've officially been dating to be honest. It really just slowly happened and I denied it for so long... it was more, I like you and you like me and we've been basically all over each other forever and even though you're not technically my boyfriend we're acting like it. One day I was "Alec" and he was "Magnus" and the next we were "babe"." He shrugged.

I nodded. "Cool."

"It's not going to be awkward between us, right? Last time I saw you, you kind of admitted, or, ya know... anyway, I found out-"

A smile rose to my lips. "I was hoping not. I don't- uh- you know. I don't feel that way anymore." He nodded as I did and the awkwardness broke, both of us relaxing in relief.

There was a scream that shattered the air. We both snapped our attention to the building and raced forward in sync. We moved horribly quickly to the back, where there we saw Matt being held up in the air by his threat, the thing we'd been hunting looking in his eyes with cruel coldness. I launched myself forward desperately and Alec reacted weirdly fast, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back. I screamed desperately and he put a hand over my mouth. I went to fight and he forced me to look to the side.

There was Matt, highfiving Jack and Clary. Confused and shocked, I looked between the two images of my brother. An arrow raced through the air and I saw it implant itself into the beast holding my brother up in one image, and it cropped, dead. I saw my brother disappear into dust and I felt sick.

Matt was immediately in front of me. "Woah, it's okay," he rushed. "It was an illusion. Magnus did it. It was not real." Immediately I collapsed to my knees, hugging him tightly. He was taller than I remember and he ended up just sitting down with me. He sighed, holding me tightly. "I missed your overprotective, worried mom hugs."

Everyone chuckled.

"I thought you were dead," I croaked.

Alec squatted next to us. "I know that Magnus can do that stuff, so I... well, I didn't want you to ruin their plan... I'm sorry, it was instinct..."

"No," I sighed. "Thank you. For holding me back."

He smiled. "That's my job."

In that second, everything was fine. He stood up and Bane was next to him, his arm slipping around Alec's waist, a blush creeping up his neck. Jack helped us stand and smiled at Matt and me.

"So you're staying this time?" Jace asked, walking up. His eyes were hopeful. I looked at Matt and his face was smiling widely, eyes just as hopeful - if not more so - than Jace's. I looked at Jack who nodded.

"Yeah," I sighed. "This time we're staying. For good." Everyone cheered and I couldn't help but laugh.