A/n: Kinda playing with this as Jamie is nine in the book when Melanie and Jarod meet (and about thirteen when Wanda gets involved) and he's about fifteen or sixteen when the romance starts. And, yes, I'm aware this isn't the actor that actually plays Jaime. Don't hate me thanks

-

My heart raced, ramming against my ribs at a hard, sporadic beat that felt as if it was damaging the bones and tissue inside my body. I covered my mouth, curling under the desk tighter, hoping that the movement or my desperate breathing that had increased with my thumping heart and my increased fear.

The flashlight beam swept in front of the desk and I flinched, swallowing a whimper desperately. I imagined my mom next to me, running her hands through my hair and whispering in my ear about how it was okay. How I just had to stay still and quiet. How nothing would get me with her next to me to protect me. I imagined her holding me, covering me with her body, and mumbling so quietly in my ear that even with her lips touching my ear I could barely hear her. I imagined her reassuring me that since she was here I was safe. She would never let anything happen to me.

Ah yes, my mother. So busy protecting me she'd forgotten to watch her own back.

Pain hit me like a brick wall, mixing with the fear. It was the worst time to start crying but the two extreme emotions mixed in my mind and gave me the worst headache as my emotions surged and swole, demanding to be felt. I was shaking hard, fighting it. Everything would be lost if they found me.

Suddenly the light was behind me, where the open part of the desk would expose me and let the person see me clear as day. I heard a gasp and I jumped into action, my instincts taking over as I shot to my feet, kicking and throwing my small body to pin the other person. The flashlight fell with a loud thump that sent another ave of adrenaline through me. My eyes locked on a woman's. She looked up at me but I could not see her eyes through the darkness. She, on the other hand, saw me clearly and perfectly in the moonlight falling through the window. "Human," she gasped.

My lip curled. "And I'm staying that way," I sneered. I socked her hard in the face and then scrambled off of her and onto my feet, leaving her to groan loudly, clutching her nose. I was racing through the hallways, my feet thumping loudly. Between the woman and her loud groaning and the flashlight, there was simply no point in slowing myself to try and force quiet foot falls. Speed was my only play now.

Behind me, I heard, "Wait," groan out weakly. "Wait!"

I was through the open door leading out of the room, not even pausing or turning my back. Unfortunately, though, I turned the corner sharply, my speed not allowing me any time to check to see if anyone was there. The tall figure I ran into was running as well and neither of us could stop before we collided. "Mel are you- oof!" I stumbled back, gasping, and big hands wrapped around my arms, keeping me from falling. The hold was gentle, a reflex to catch me rather than a grabbing or trapping motion. Because of the loose hold, I pulled out of it easily. The figure had already noticed me, though, and he grabbed me again, this time his fingers reaching for my hair as I almost slipped away. I cried out, my hands going to try and pry his hands away from where his pulling hold made my scalp ache.

There were quick footfalls behind me. The woman was jogging over. "Jared stop!" She hissed hurriedly. "She's human!"

Jared - as his name seemed to be - let go of my hair, his other hand catching ym arm again, this time solid and unbreakable. "Sorry!" Jared whispered back. "She was slipping away and I couldn't grab anything else..."

Determination set in me and, knowing I was young and tiny and the man holding me was huge and strong, I decided on a different tactic. I swiveled my head, my teeth clamping down on his hand as my knee drove up into his groin. He groaned, falling to his knees. The woman was too surprised to react fast enough to catch me. I took off again.

When I got halfway down the hallway, finally sure I was home free, I was tackled to the ground. The woman had run after me and - predictably - caught up. She flipped me over. "Look," she demanded, fumbling with the flashlight from earlier. I struggled and it made it hard for her, but she finally managed to turn it on and shine it into her eyes. "LOOK!" she demanded. I turned my head, scared and terrified and agonized over my mother pushing herself into my mind again even after all this time. Instead of looking, I gave up. I went limp. Sobs tore out of me and I curled into my side underneath her, my body shaking violently with agonized sorrow. Huge tears fell from my eyes, soaking my face and blurring my vision so that I couldn't see anything.

Just as I'd always feared, I couldn't run. I couldn't get away. I couldn't run fast enough or hit hard enough. I was too young. Too inexperienced. Too small.

Arms wrapped around me, holding me gently against something warm and soft but solid. I was surprised as the image of my lost mother hit me. But no. This was a hug, just as she had hugged me a million times. But this body was smaller. This was a different kind of gentle. Motherly, but not a mother. Not MY mother, at least. Like a mother hugging someone else's child.

Shock silenced me and I stilled, basking in the comfort I thought I would never experience again. "It's okay," the woman whispered. It was her voice, but warm and emotional and conforming and -

Understanding.

Finally the woman leaned back, wiping away the rest of my tears and then moving my hair off go my wet face. She smiled down at me and I looked up at her, completely confused. The man leaned against the wall to the side of us, still a little hunched from the pain I'd caused him moments ago, but handling it well. I was small, after all. Weak. I refocused on the woman, ignoring the feeling of self hate and defeat that welled up when I thought of my size and age. I looked at the woman: her warm smile, her welcoming eyes, her -

Her eyes.

My gaze broadened. I could see her in the moonlight now. We were in the hallway of a motel and it was dark, but light enough that if the woman was a Host, that Soul glow would have been showing... But it wasn't. I reached up, my hands wrapping around the woman's face. The woman smiled, seeming to understand. My eyes watered again, but this time I smiled. "You're human," I croaked so quietly I was almost afraid that she wouldn't hear me.

The woman laughed, nodding. "I am." There was a pause as I launched myself at her. My arms wrapped around her neck tightly and I was crying again, this time more softy and quietly. This time in relief. The woman held me, keeping me against her as she kept herself propped up with one arm. I would marvel at her physical strength later.

Jared leaned down. "Mel, we have to go. We have to get the kid."

Eyes widening even more, I pushed 'Mel' away (what kind of name was that?) and looked at Jared. "There are more of you?" I asked, my voice only a whisper of awe.

He looked at me, warm brown eyes instantly comforting without the Soul glow. "One other." He kneeled down and I sat up, Mel sitting back on her heels. "My name is Jared Howe," he introduced. "This is Melanie Stryder." He motioned to the woman and I exchanged a soft smile with her. "Her brother, Jamie, is waiting for us." I relaxed, slumping a bit. Other people. Other humans. I wasn't alone. What a miracle.

Melanie's head tilted and her eyebrows knitted as her gaze narrowed. "How old are you?" She suddenly asked. Jared seemed to realize my young age that accompanied my smile size in that moment as well, both looking at me in surprise.

Squaring my shoulders and sitting up straight, I popped my chin up a bit. "I'm ten and a half."

Both of the adults' eyes shot wide. "What?" Mel gasped. I finally understood why Jared had called her that now. It was her nickname.

Grinning with pride, I nodded. "I made it all by myself for a full six months," I gloated. This seemed to confuse Melanie and Jared, so I rushed to explain. "Well, my mom and I were together before-" I cut off, my hands dropping into my lap again. My eyes fell to the floor and I sniffed as my tears came back. "She used to say how strong and brave I was. I proved her right. I could get away from the real bad guys. You guys are just humans, so you're better than them. If was really THEM I would have gotten away." I wiped my face with my sleeve, looking up defiantly at the pair.

I saw them exchange a looks piled with so many emotions, I wasn't sure how to feel. Pity. Admiration. Shock. Impressed. Pride. Fear. Caring. Questioning. Concern. More flashed but before I could get all of them, they both looked back at me. "You're right," Mel whispered, nodding her head and smiling weakly. "You're so strong and incredibly brave. What's your name?"

"Alissa Baxter," I announced proudly. "My dad used to always call me Izzy because he knew it drove me crazy." My smile weakened again. "I like the nickname nowadays..."

Melanie moved hair behind my ear affectionately, her fingers touching my jaw to keep my eyes on hers. "Well, Izzy Baxter, care to join us? We could really use a tough girl like you to help us out."

Hope and excitement bloomed inside of me violently. "I would love to," I whispered reverently. I couldn't believe this was happening...

Jared stood, Melanie joining him. He offered me a hand and I took it as he pulled me to my feet. "Come on," he sighed. "I think Jamie will be excited to have a friend his age." He took Mel's hand and she nodded at me to follow. What a cute little family...

Honestly, if Jamie wasn't excited he wasn't human. I was excited. And he was my age, too? Man this was going to be so great!

-

I choked on a scream as I sat up in bed, shaking and sweaty. There were mulled of confusion as I scrambled to a corner of the bed, my sobs hitting me hard and unfortunately waking Jamie. The boy saw me through his sleep induced haze and he was instantly awake, scooting close and pulling me to him. His familiar hold and touch and scent filled me, soaking into me instead of hitting me like I thought it would. He held me until I calmed down enough and then he sighed. "Come on," he told me, rubbing my back. "Let's go talk to Jared and Mel again." I nodded silently as he guided me out of the bed. He took my hand, pulling me after him. We went outside the little beat up house to where Melanie and Jared were curled up on the rickety couch in front of the fire.

Jamie coughed as we approached and Mel and Jared looked back, their gazes softening as they saw my worn, ashamed expression and Jamie's concern. This was not nearly the first time this had happened. It had been happening less and less and less, but after all the times I'd woken up from vivid nightmares, it had become routine.

The four of us all cuddled and squished onto the couch, me perched on Jared's lap and Mel squished between her boyfriend and her brother. "Do you wan to talk about it?" Mel asked as she always did. I still hadn't told them the exact details of my mother's capture. In fact, they didn't even know my nightmares were about her. This question would pop up and I was always too scared to dig up the memories to explain. They always understood and let it drop.

Tonight, though, I felt extra safe and extra warm and extra exhausted from having the same problems and carrying the same crushing burden all by myself. They'd told me everything. Jamie had told me his entire life story within the first week, and then Mel's the week after. Jared had opened up within a month two, when I couldn't look Mel or Jamie in the face and Jared was the only one that could comfort me. They confided in me and each other, sharing their burdens and we all cried together.

Why not this burden?

Biting my lip, I wrung my wrists, eyes on my lap. Mel and Jared shifted, surprised that I was finally opening up but ready do accept whatever was coming. "M-my mom-" It came out as a weak, shaky croaked. Jamie reached over and took my hand. Honestly this boy had become my best friend and hadn't left my side since we'd met. I weakly smiled at him and he nodded, encouraging me gently. Taking in a deep breath, I just... let it come out. "It was my tenth birthday. My mom was trying to get us some treat. Just a little something sweet. She wanted to celebrate. But I'd been so happy, I'd squealed and jumped around and caused a lot of noise." My heart constricted and Jared took my other hand, coming to support me as Jamie did. His strength helped me continue. "Seekers found us. Well, the place we were staying in. She told me- she told me to run." I got choked up and Mel put a hand on my knee. My face was twisted in agony. "She kissed me on the forehead and told me to hide in our meeting place and wait for her. She promised she would come back..." I swallowed. "And she did." Here I paused for a second. No one spoke. "But... not as herself. I saw the cars. And her eyes- It wasn't her. I knew immediately. I'd seen dad go through it too. When he came to the house one day with glowy eyes and my mom had screamed and attacked him, knocking him out and running away with me. I knew she was one of them. So... I ran." I shrugged, sighing. "She- she died. Because I was too kiddish and excited and I couldn't control myself. I see her face. Sometimes. I see the look of resignation and fear and sadness as she knew she would have to leave me and run off. The way she kissed my forehead, holding me tightly and I knew. Afterwards. I realized she was saying goodbye. She knew she wasn't coming back. And it's all my fault-"

My cries took over and Jared pulled me into his chest. I curled into a tight ball, clinging to his shirt. My body shook only a little, my tears minimal. I felt more numb than anything. "It's not your fault," Jared sighed. "We all make mistakes. And you're incredibly young, Izzy. You're just a kid. It's THEIR fault. Not yours. Stop blaming yourself."

Jamie caught my eye and he looked at me, mouthing, 'you've got us now. And we love you. No matter what' with a little smile. I nodded, smiling as well. I'd lost my mom. But hey. I had these guys now. They'd all lost someone, but we all had each other. I would continue to live and fight for my mom. She would be devastated to see me fall apart for her sake. I was her strong, brave little girl. And now I had people to catch me if I ever did fall.

Despite everything, that fact seemed to somehow make it worth it. I had them. That was enough.

-

Jared stumbled into the room, his face half shock and half agony. He looked between me and Jamie and I knew. I knew immediately.

No. Not Melanie. That- that wasn't possible!

There was a choking gasp next to me and I whirled around to see Jamie losing his balance. I caught him, pulling him to me. He was half a year older and taller, thirteen now, but I took his full weight and held him strongly. He clung to me, shaking and burying his face in my shoulder to muffle his hysterical sobs. "She promised she'd come back," Jamie seethed. "SHE PROMISED!"

My hands ran through his hair and up and down his back. "I know," I whispered. He was muffled but I was not. We still had to stay quiet. "I know, Jamie. I know." Jared moved to us, his arms wrapping around both of us. The three of us sunk to the ground. The hardness didn't faze us. We all just curled up and pressed together.

Melanie. Gone. It sounded like a horror movie come to life. It was my mom all over again... Jared saw my agony and I saw his and we heard Jamie's.

The rest of the night, we just cuddled together in silence. In a whole night's worth of moments of silence for the loss of Melanie Stryder. It affected everyone differently. Jamie became more clingy and caring and protective of me. I became more closed off and quiet and defensive. Jared just became more... angry. Depressed and sad and empty and mechanical.

I didn't know what we'd do next... Fingers crossed I guess.

-

It was unclear when Jamie had started sleeping in my bed. I think it was just like... One night, he needed me. Needed my touch and comfort. And then another night. And then another. And another and another and another, until I didn't know why he even bothered to ask anymore. Jared took the spare bed in the room, Jamie sleeping in mine as we stayed in these caves and tunnels that Jared had lead us to. Where Jeb had been waiting. Now we lived here, but it was hollow success without Mel with us. It felt wrong, to be happy and alive and safe in a place full of large amounts of people and in a whole community none of us had ever dared dream of, without Mel here to also appreciate it.

So, since Mel was gone, we all just took comfort in each other. That's how it went for a very, very long time. Until, unexpectedly, Mel suddenly come back.

...Sort of.