Warnings: depression, self-deprecation, mentions of self harm, self-harm, cursing, crying, yelling, angst

-Remus's POV-

I hate always being in Roman's shadow. Just because I'm darker thoughts doesn't mean I don't matter! I was about to tell him this. I walked right up to his door, but just before I could knock, I heard something.

Confused, I put my ear up to the door to listen.

"I'm a failure. I do nothing but insult people. Every day. I hurt people. Virgil, Remus, Janus, Logan... What kind of brother does that? God, they have every right to hate me, I'm an awful person.." I hear Roman say, seemingly talking to himself.

I frown to myself. What am I supposed to think after hearing that? Does.. Roman actually care about me? I knock on the door, which is something I don't ever really do.
Roman opens it, putting on a very obvious fake smile. "Remus. To what do I owe the pleasure." he says, looking down for a split second.

"Uh.." I say, stumbling on my words. "Also you never knock, how do I know you're really.. You?" he asks. "Oh, trustful as ever, I see! What can I do to prove it to you, brother?" I ask.
"Nope. Nevermind, only my real brother would look that insane when he's irritated.. What do you want?" he asks.

"Just here to ask you a question~" I say in a sing-songish way. "What." Roman says, his expression not changing. "Do you ever feel like no one cares about you?" I ask, being serious but hiding behind my usual persona.
Roman scoffs quietly. "Go away.." he mumbles. I try not to let that upset me. "Uh, no," I say, grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving.

"Answer me." I say. "Why would I tell you?" he asks. ‘Because you already have, without knowing.’ I thought to myself. ".... Because I'm your brother?" I offer.

"Look, Remus.. Not now.." he says, his voice cracking a little. "Yes, now! Roman-"  I start. "I'm not going to put a bunch of my issues onto my little brother, Remus!!" he snaps at me.
I was surprised at what he called me. "Just.. Give me a while, please.." he tells me, closing the door.

-Third Person POV-

Remus went to his room. He and Roman are brothers, and because of that, they can see each other's memories if they wanted to. They never really have yet, but Remus needed to know what recently got to Roman.

<Roman's memories>

"Good thing you don't have a mustache, Roman, otherwise it'd be impossible to tell which one of you was the evil twin." Janus says.

<end>

Remus opened his eyes and frowned. Deceit had said that.. Sure, Roman made fun of him, but that's just what Roman does..

Meanwhile, Thomas had called the main four in for a video. A little while in, things took a turn.

"I really dislike the way you're addressing me, Roman." Logan says. They had gotten into another pointless fight.
"Boohoo." Roman says, not in the mood for this.

"I hate when you're like this!" Logan shouts. "I'm always like this, so you hate me. Which I know. You hate me, Janus hates me, Virgil hates me, Remus hates me- who doesn't?" Roman says.
"Excuse me?" Virgil asks, slightly taken aback and offended Roman thought he hated him.

Roman teared up a little and glared at him. "Don't even! I know you hate me, you and I fight all the time! I'm the one who starts it so you have every right to hate me! Welcome to the club, I'm the fucking leader!"

Virgil frowns, looking at Logan with slight worry. Logan glanced at him, seeming surprised and confused by the outburst.
"Ro.." Patton says, frowning and trying to calm him. "I'm an awful fucking person! I hurt literally everyone for no reason!" Roman continues, silent tears running down his cheeks.

Roman said nothing else, going to his room and locking himself in.

Patton started crying, taking off his glasses. Virgil was shocked and worried, and Logan looks between everyone.

"... Guys let's just do the video later, I can't think of anything else to say at this point." Thomas says, shutting off the camera.

-Roman's POV-

That's it. They don't need someone like me. I'm awful. All these thoughts run though my mind as I drag the blade across my arms.
I throw it on the floor. Not like anyone's getting in. I don't feel like wearing this anymore. A prince wouldn't hurt people.

So I changed into just a T-shirt and jeans, putting the other clothes away in my closet. Not like I'll need them.

I hate everything about myself.

<a couple days later>

No. I haven't come out of my room since the other day. I don't want to. Luckily, I don't need to eat, being a figment of Thomas's imagination.
Not that I would if I needed to. I don't deserve to be here anyway.

-Virgil's POV-

"Guys, I'm worried..." Patton says, walking to the living room where Logan and I were. "Why?" Logan asks.

"I haven't heard anything from Roman since that video, not a peep.." Patton says. I frown. Come to think of it, neither have I.
"I'm sure he's fine, Patton." Logan says. "What if you're wrong?! Thomas hasn't even thought of a new video for a couple days now - hell, he hasn't even thought about making one, Logan; Roman's the one that does that!" I tell him.

"Maybe he's got a mental block." Logan says. "Well.. Thomas hasn't been enjoying musicals or Disney movies or.. Really anything that comes from Roman lately.." Patton says.

"Okay, that... Is slightly troublesome..." Logan says, frowning slightly.

I go up to Roman's room and knock. No response. "Roman? It's Virgil." I say. Nothing. I sigh deeply.
"Come on, Princey! Thomas needs you! We need you! Patton misses you and he's very worried about you!" I shout, feeling myself tear up a little.

"I need you..." I say quieter, looking down and walking away.

<the next day>

"Okay, well what if he.. Made a video doing the Midnight Man challenge?" Remus says. He's been trying to fill in for Roman.
"Uh, hell no. Remus, I appreciate the effort here, but," I say, motioning my hands at myself. "Anxiety. I'd go haywire on a video like that!"

"It was an idea, okay?! I'm trying! I'm not hardwired to think like Roman!" Remus says, gripping his hair slightly.

Then we all get called, and Remus follows. "Guys- woah-kay, hi Remus, why are-" Thomas says.
"Ah, yes, hello, Thomathy. See, I have to try to fill in for my brother, who.. Has disappeared." Remus says. "What do you mean disappeared?!" Thomas asks, frowning in worry.

"We mean he's gone. He locked himself in his room and he won't come out or even respond to any of us." I tell him. "What? Why?! Didn't we go over the fact that I need him just like all of you?" Thomas says.

"Yes. I do recall you singing the lyrics, ‘but with no you at all, I'm incomplete.’ Unless I am mistaken, which I am not, you said that to Roman. Although it is disconcerting that he hasn't been around for a few days." Logan says.

"I told him no one hates him... He didn't believe me.." I mumble, looking down. Patton frowns. "Kiddo, it's not your fault.."
"Indeed. A depressed mind thinks differently than normal minds. For example, they can be told someone loves them, and immediately feel like that was a lie to make them feel better, whereas most people would take it as a compliment." Logan explains.

"Well someone needs to talk to him! He can't just stay in his room forever, it would ruin Thomas's career!" I tell him. "I am well aware, Virgil, but what do you suggest we do?" Logan replied.

"Actually... I know where a key to his room is." Remus says.

-Third Person POV-

"What? How?" Virgil asks. "I stole a spare key a while ago just in case he locked me out and I wanted in." Remus says, pulling a golden key with a red jewel on the top out of his shirt.

"So.. You can talk to him then?" Thomas asks. Remus nods. "Yes. But everyone should come with me." he says, looking around.

Everyone goes back to the mindscape.

Remus knocks on the door. "Ramen Noodles, open the door or I'm coming in." he says. "You can't. It's locked." Roman mumbles through the door.
"He speaks!! Well you seem to forget, locks can be unlocked..." Remus starts, putting the key in and turning it. "With the right key." he finished, pushing the door open.

Roman groans and pulls the blanket over his head. "Because of course you stole a key. I've been wondering what happened to it.."
"Roman, get up." Remus says. "Fuck off." Roman mumbles. Remus glares at him, pulling the blanket off and dragging him off, holding him under the arms.

"I'm not the only one here, brother." he says. Roman stopped fighting for a moment to look up.

"About time we saw you again, even if you are disheveled." Logan says, pushing up his glasses and crossing his arms. Patton waved and smiled sadly. Even Janus was there, but he didn't say anything, nor did he make eye contact.

Roman looked over to Virgil last, who had tears in his eyes. Remus dropped Roman, putting his hands on his hips. Roman fell to the floor with a thud, catching himself on his hands.

Patton and Virgil both run up to Roman, crouching down to hug him tightly. "Roman don't ever do that again!" Virgil says. "Please kiddo..." Patton adds.

"We really do need you, Roman." Logan says with a sigh. "Without you, Thomas isn't himself."

"Not to mention your lover over here." Remus says, pointing to Virgil. Virgil blushes, pulling away from the hug. Patton looks between him and Roman before standing up and leaving.

"Have fun you two~ and here, Virgil." Remus says, dropping the key next to him and walking out, closing the door.

Roman looks at Virgil. "When.. When you said you needed me.." he says. Virgil was looking at the floor, blushing a little. "I didn't think you heard me.."
Roman finally smiled a little. "I heard everything you said.." he says. Virgil pokes at the floor.

"Hey.." Roman says, lifting Virgil's chin gently before kissing him. Virgil kisses back after a moment. They pull away, both smiling a little.
"You don't belong in clothes like that, my prince." Virgil says, snapping his fingers and putting Roman back in his normal clothes.

Roman looks down at his outfit and laughs breathlessly. "Your prince, huh?" he says. Virgil smiles and nods.

"And Roman.. Don't hurt your beautiful body.." Virgil says. Roman blushes a little and looks away. "I just..." he says.
"I know, I know. It's hard to stop. But please try, for me?" Virgil asks. Roman looks at him and nods slightly.

"I love you, Roman, every part of you." Virgil says. "I.. I love you too, Virgil." Roman says back, smiling a little.
"Come on," Virgil says, standing up and offering a hand to Roman. "Let's wander outside the room, okay?" he says as Roman takes his hand and stood up.

Roman nods. "Okay."