Zecora : You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Xpheses : Are we-

Zecora : Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

-----

Jinx: Goodnight moon.

Jinx: Goodnight tree.

Jinx: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

Outer: Night

-----

Benefit: So that's my plan.

Nemesis: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Benefit: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Nemesis: It fucking sucks.

Benefit: That's not constructive criticism.

-----

Inkwell: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Curly: Stop romanticizing the past.

-----

Ghost, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.

Shifter: Okay

Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Ghost: Orange soda, please!

Shifter: I'll have the strawberry soda.

Linxer: Me too, strawberry soda.

Ghost:

-----

Benefit: Hans, my old arch enemy.

Jinx: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?

Benefit: I have a life outside of you, Jinx.

-----

Puri: You think I really give a fuck? I can't even read.

-----

Dixen: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Ragdoll: What did you do?

Dixen: A MISTAKE

-----

Rahva: You know those things will kill you, right?

Xphese, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Benefit, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Layla: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

-----

Narator, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Inkwell: Hey.

Ikuzu: Hi.

Lucia: Hello.

Tyche: Hey!

Narator: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Cinnico: We were out of Doritos.

-----

Layla: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Jinx: >:O language

Benefit: Yeah watch your fucking language

Ganxer: OKAY WHO TAUGHT BENEFIT THE FUCK WORD?

Narator: 'The fuck word'.

Zecora: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Layla: Oh my god they censored it

Ghost: Say fuck, Zecora.

Benefit: Do it, Zecora. Say fuck.

-----

Tyche: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Sketch: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Anthony: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nemesis: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-----

Chiniue: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

-----

*The group is getting into the car*

Narrator: I'm driving.
Pie, out of view: Shotgun!
Ganxer, turning to face Pie: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Pie: WOAH-

Pie, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

(This is what I get for teaching them how to shoot guns..)

-----

Fetch: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Lucia: Rude.

Ghost: That's fair.

Benefit: Not again.

Curly: Are you going to want this back?

-----

Shifter: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Shifter: *punches wall*

Shifter:

Shifter: Take me to the hospital.

-----

Benefit: HELP! I TOLD ALEX I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Ganxer, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-----

Benefit: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

-----

Rahva: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Sketch: Wednesay
Rahva: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

-----

Anthony: Why is Dixen so sad?

Narator: They took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes

Anthony: And...?

Dixen: I got Xphese...

-----

Ganxer: I know you snuck out last night, Jinx.
Outer: Play dumb!
Jinx: Who's Jinx?
Outer: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

-----

'Can I copy the homework?'

Dixen: I can help you with it!

Rahva: Yeah, sure.

Ghost: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Inkwell: lol nope.

Fetch: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Narator: *Read 5:55pm*

-----

Ganxer: Time for plan G.

Shifter: Don't you mean plan B?

Ganxer: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical 

difficulties.

Chiniue: What about plan D?

Ganxer: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Ikuzu: What about plan E?

Ganxer: I'm hoping not to use it.Jinx dies in plan E.

Benefit: I like plan E.

-----

Zecora: Hewwo.
Lucia: Hihiiiiii!
Jinx: Greetings, Humans.
Narator: Three kinds of people.
Layla: I want pudding.
Zecora: Four kinds of people.
Ganxer: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Narator: Five kinds of people.

-----

Curly: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Shifter: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Ragdoll: More or less, I guess...
Cinnico: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
Ikuzu: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Alex: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

-----

*The squad is over at Ganxer's house*
Tyche: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Ganxer: ... N-No...
Ganxer, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Tyche, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Puri: I see a-
Ganxer, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Tyche: Oh, well I-
Ganxer: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Ganxer, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Pie: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Ash: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Ganxer: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Ganxer: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Gancer, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Ganxer: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Ash, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Ganxer:
Tyche: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Ganxer:
Ganxer, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS