I can't believe I've never told you guys about Jacque, my stereotypical French vampire

Narnia: you're from Detroit

Jacque: MY GRANDMOTHER WAS LE FRENCH

Narnia: oh my god you're an idiot

Jacque is also obsessed with Twilight

I'm not kidding

Jacque: *goes outside with shirt open*

Jacque: LOOK I AM SPARKLY

Narnia: JACQUE GET BACK INSIDE THERE IS SMOKE COMING OFF YOUR BODY YOU ARE STARTING TO BURN

Jacque: SHUT UP I AM SPARKLING

Jacque had to go to the nurse's office later that day due to him having a super bad sunburn and for almost burning

He had to sit in an ice bath for an hour.