Today, children, we are going to be reading Midnight, this year's bestselling love story of sprinkle vampires by Seppany Mayo.

It's perfect. Don't worry.

One day, did you know there were secret cult of vampires that lived forever but not forever for their emotions were darkness like black hole but then boy vampire was king of sprinkle cupcake vampires that gives cupcakes to people who need cakes, but the cupcakes turn into cupcakes and the cupcake vampires eat the cupcakes and that's how they get you BLOOD.

So, then the youngest vampire was named Tedward Culinary because his family was best at the sprinkle cupcakes!! The boys of the family were all TOTAL HOTTIES, like really hot, like really hot guys, and then they go to-

This is Midnight, this isn't Twilight, this is Midnight, you got it confused with some other story.

Like really hot guys, and then they go to the school but they- they were- but they were cool kids and Nutella Swan was the new girl and had crush on Tedward at first sight. But for some reason- but for some reason, he could not turn her into a cupcake, even though he wanted to. He thought her sprinkle power was beautiful and a car tried to hit on her but Tedward saved Nutella from the car. And Nutella fell in- and Nutella fell in love with him.

But then Tedward- then Tedward had to do the hardest thing in his life, was to tell Nutella he was a cupcake vampire, so he ri- he let her ride on his shoulder like a parrot, and he took her to a very romantic place- and then he took her to a romantic place in the forest and took off his shirt in the sunlight and his skin turned to sprinkles and he was delicious and FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN MIDNIGHT 2: BOOK OF SPRINKLE SADNESS