soooooooooo whoopee I got into one of my top college choices. then again, I kind of applied to a lot of really good schools, but this is definitely a school I can see myself thriving at!

now I know I'm kind of a privileged kid. I've been attending private school since 9th grade, and my school has a very good reputation. but honestly, high school hasn't been easy for me. my friend group has always been made up of super smart and talented people (kind of expected at a private school tbh), and that coupled with my parents' expectations (they've definitely become a lot more understanding throughout the years; they still pushed me to apply for super competitive schools tho) really took its toll on my self-worth and self-confidence. I never really had much confidence in myself to begin with; high school kind of just magnified the lack of confidence with high expectations and pressure and that overwhelming feeling of being not good enough when you're compared to your peers.

not only that, but I feel like I gave up a lot of things that I enjoyed doing in the past in my pursuit of straight A's and extracurriculars (to this point in time, I've actually maintained all A's and A+'s which is honestly a surprise). more specifically, I'm talking about Wattpad and gaming, both of which were important outlets of destressing back in my middle school days. I grew more distant from my friends online and I was prohibited from buying games. this honestly sounds like it's coming from a privileged kid's mouth but gaming has always been an important part of my life. I've made many friends over a love of games and it has always helped me deal with the loneliness at home (I'm about half introverted half extroverted; sometimes I like my alone time but other times I miss the company of people). thankfully though, my parents did buy me a switch last thanksgiving which was really appreciated; I know they've never been big fans of gaming but they're starting to open up to it.

if by any chance you want to friend me, my friend code is SW-2449-1129-4503. just let me know that you've sent me a friend request, I don't want to be getting friend requests from strangers.

anyway, I'm so grateful that I was lucky enough to get into one of my top choices. high school has been a difficult journey, and at this point I can say it was worth it, though if I could've done it differently, I definitely would've tried to stay in contact with the people on this platform. for any seniors out there, congrats if you've gotten in and don't worry if you haven't; sometimes, the most unexpected acceptances occur. the college process can be very tricky and unpredictable.

on an unrelated note, I started working on Sweet Dreams again; if by any chance you didn't read the previous chapter, it's a short story idea I came up with a long time ago that has to deal with Cresselia and dreams. originally, it was going to relate to another novel in the works but I gave my old drafts a readw and just went ew. even tho i haven't really practiced creative writing since then, even I can tell it wasn't good. so I thought up a new idea and I'm rolling with it. this time, it's focusing more on lucid dreaming and Darkrai makes a few appearances as well. it might also be changed to oneshot format instead of short story. it's, uh, still pretty angsty tho. I honestly don't know if now's an appropriate time to be writing so much angst but I swear I can't help it, it's what comes most easily to me. romance is an unexplored territory (how am I supposed to write it when I've only had one experience remotely close to romance) and comedy is...well, I think I have a sense of humor but at the same time I'm really not funny at all.

I think that's all I have for this update. here's to hoping that there are better days on the horizon for us all; today was a pretty good day for me, and I'm sure others will have some good days soon. as always, stay safe and stay healthy!

-azur