I hate these scars. I hate these scars. I was trapped into a large wooden chair with spikes pressing against my spine. I hate these scars. Silver slivers of moonlight squeezed through multiple cracks in the dark, unforgiving walls. My pale skin seemed ghostly in the light, making the deep, puffy gashes even clearer. I hate these scars. Half the scars on my arms are from Him. The rest on my arms, legs and stomach are mine. Footsteps reverbarate around the room and He enters, with a box. I know that box. It's my box. Placing the box on a large glass table, standing proud in the middle of the room, He turns and walks over to the wall opposite me. There is a hole in the wall with a metal cover over it.

"All I have to do is remove the cover and all the spiders will pour out," He finally addresses me "These will fill your mouth, nose and ears, climbing and crawling everywhere. For some reason you chose this over your usual punishment." His voice is calm but there was a hidden coldness that lurks somewhere underneath. I hate these scars. He turns on his heel and sashays over to me. Looking me in the eye he forces my sleeves up, exposing them even more. Now my forearms and upper arms are on display. I hate these scars. "I know you hate them. Personally I would take them over this." His breath was warm against my skin. He smelled of pineapples and coconuts, strangely refreshinb despite His personality.

"I don't deserve them" my voice comes out weak and cracked. "Yes you do. Think of your sister." He whispered. "Don't you dare! You don't deserve to speak of her!" I hiss, eyes blazing with the heat of a thousand fires. He backs away, smirking. "Well she's the only one who cam save you now." He turns his attention back to the box. It's a small box, covered in black tape. Pulling out a knife, He starts to cut open the taped box.

My breath gets caught in my throat as he removes the tape. Inside are four gleaming silver sharpner blades and a tiny bottle of pills.

"So hum hallelujah just off the key of reason I thought I loved you but it was just how you looked in the light..." "a teenage vow in a parking lot until tonight do us part, I sing the blues and swallow them too." He finishes. "Your last song. You sung it well my child." He grins an all teeth grin but it's a grin full of hate. "Dad" I croak, my voice hoarse and dry. "Don't..." there is a hint of sadness in his eyes but it's quickly replaced with a steely glare. Dad picks  up one of the blades and strides over to me. I hate these scars. He grips my wrist and without warning presses down and slices down, splitting open my vein. A cup appears in his hand, collecting the crimson fire pouring out my arm. Only stitches can fix this. I strain my neck and look up to see a message on the wall. Dad has gone but in shiny blood are the words "be brave." I understand. The cover has been removed and a wave of spiders surges forward.

I can either let the spiders take me and die but save our secret or I can tell him the name and be forced to swallow pills that failed to claim me last time. Suicide is the hardest thing to do. It's even harder to find the body. For me I attempted it with pills but for Her it was different. I remember finding Her. Lying fully clothed in the bathtub, empty pill and vodka bottles littered around the room. Her wrists were slit and blood seeped out the wounds fleeing from her body. The bathroom looked like a bomb had exploded but she was the only casualty. On the wall was a shimmering, dripping message. "I'm free."

My body convulses at the memory and salty water runs down my face, past the spiders starting to crawl all over my body. I feel a billion little legs tickling me and I feel trapped. "Just tell him! Say it and it will be over." The little voice whispers. No! I won't say it. The only thing that could save me is if I tell him. Tell him the one thing that could save him. Save me. Her. He's dying and She's the key, but he doesn't know that.

A crackle interrupts my thoughts as some speakers I haven't noticed, come to life. "Tell me! Tell me and they go." I close my eyes, trying to drown him out. Pain shoots up my arm and I wince.  A spider is walking across my wrist, crawling in the slits. "TELL ME!" No. "TELL ME!" No. "TELL ME!" No. "TELL ME!" No. "TELL ME!" No. "TELL ME!"  I can't take it.

"Becca!" I scream. "Becca! It's Becca! She's the key! Becca!" My chest heaves as I scream and cry as I betray the one person I ever loved. Becca, my sister. My dead sister. Deafening silence follows and though my eyes are still closed I feel the spiders begin to retreat. The speakers shut off and after a few painful minutes, the door opens.

I open my eyes, scared at what I will see. He stands in front of me, hands behind his back, staring straight at me. There is a long awkward silence before he walks towards me and unstraps me from the chair. I slump forwards and fall to my knees, clutching my wrists. Tears flow freely but I make no sound. What was the point? "So," he said, breaking the ice "Becca. She's dead." I raise my head and stare him down. "What you gonna do?" I hiss. He pulls out a knife. The long thin blade gleams evilly, like the claw of an animal. He lunges towards me but I roll away and it onlh scratches my arm. A bead of blood rolls down my arm. It stings. Anger roars through me as I stand and run at him, knocking him against the wall. His head connects with a dull thud. He swipes at me, cutting my arms and legs. Trying to avoid most of the stabs I skilfully grab the knife and slice open his chest. Screams of agony fill my ears whilst blood gushes out of the gaping open wound.

His pain isn't enough for me and I want him to be concious when I end his life. Pouncing like a cat I wrap my legs around his torso, arms around his neck. Blood soaks through my leggings, not sure whether it is his or mine. My arms twitch, my mouth turned up in a grin. I feel the bones and tendons in his neck, crack and stretch and break and shatter. He stops fighting, stops moving, stops living. Satisfied I detach myself from him and let his body drop like a stone to the floor. Dull, lifeless eyes look straight ahead while I turn and walk towards the table. My arms are heavy and throbbing and reaching for the bottle is painful. I hate these scars.

After everything I have done, killed my father and betayed my sister, it is time to go. I sit back in the chair and unwrap the bottle, shaking half of the little pills into my aching trembling palm. Tipping my head back my hand moves towards my mouth, emptying my little murderers down my throat. Leaning back I survey the damage. Liquid life runs down the walls and across the floor, collecting into little scarlet puddles. A few minutes pass before the pills start to work, for a short time I have a feeling of weightlesness and floating before a burning floods and spreads through my chest, and I'm falling down into a never ending pit of blackness.

It surrounds me like a blanket and before I go under I think one thing. Who's eyes are those? A growl is ripped from a snarling mouth. Red eyes shine in the darkness, looking right through me. Blood drips from fang like teet, enclosed in a jaw covered in fur. Soft ears jutt from the top of its head. Heavenly light shines from behind it showing me more of the creature.  It has the head and tail of a murderous wolf but the body of a damged, scarred young girl.

It prowls towards me hungrily and I can't move. "What ar...are...y...you?" I stammer. It's mouth turns into a gaping black hole and it seems to speak in a voice that seems all to familiar, shakes me to my core and rattles my bones.

"I'm free!"

I seem to be drowning. A loud roaring fills my ears and I hear a distant scream. When it dies down it takes me a while to realise the scream came from me. "I'm free!" It speaks again. My stomach turns and a wave of nausea washes over me. Still sat in the chair I gag and retch, turning my head to avoid puking on myself.

The wolf/Becca hybrid looks disgusted. "You know what you did. You know how it must end." Shivering and shaking I nod, wishing the pills had taken me this time.

It's jaw clamped around my leg, bones snapping, blood spurting, breath stopping. After everything I had done, all I'd been through, all I'd seen, this is the least I deserve. I deserve this pain. I deserve this hate. "Becca, the darkness within you has spread. It spread to me. It became hate and fear. This isn't you. We have a shared past. We are one. I love you Becca and I will until tonight do us part."

I deserve these scars