someone explain to me why all the cute guys either too old for me or are gay. like wtf god

for example

todrick hall (right here) 

is gay

but he real cute not to mention them eyes are so pretty i-

and then elliot page is 33

he's too old for me *sobs in corner*

p.s. istfg this is like funny but then weird 

omg its me 

https://youtu.be/Jb6mB-L4fYs

marry_me_elliot_page ur welcome <3