One day, Izuru wanted to impress wifus Chiaki and Junko. So he wanted to make some money to make that fat cash and also buy more boats.

Boats were his life. His dream was to marry a lover of his and sail away on a boat. But he has no lover. No princess to call his own.

CLANG

"IZURU WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Junko yelled from the other side of the door.

"Junko." Izuru groaned.

Both Junko, Izuru, and Mukuro we're all roommates. (omg they were roommates)

"Wake the fuck up!" Junko yells, finally breaking Izuru's lock on his door.

Junko bursts in, surprising herself and Izuru and Mukuro who was standing right behind her.

"Junko." Izuru groaned. "Why?"

"Hahaha!" Junko laugh. "It's just for despair."

"... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT." Izuru yelled and Junko left the room.

Junko was so despair induced, annoying, disgusting, but he loved her for that. She was just despair, not boring like other degenerates.

"I need some money!" Izuru said. "My money is not going to raise itself laying in bed and talking to myself at the same time."

He gets up, dresses in his clothes, and heads outside the house without showering, brushing his teeth, or eating breakfast with Junko and Mukuro.

"Being clean us too boring to me." Izuru said. "Now let's head out."

With little money Izuru had, he heads to a Mc Donald's to order non boring food instead.

"Happy Meals have the least boring toys and apple slices." Izuru said.

Before he heads inside, he sees a "We're hiring" sign.

"I NEED TO WORK HERE!" Izuru yells before running into the fast food restaurant.

Izuru walks up to the small purple boy at the counter, Kokichi Oma.

"Hello!" Kokichi smiles. "How may I take your order?"

"I would like one Happy Meal and also I would like to work here." Izuru says.

Kokichi stares. Soundly.

"May I speak with your manager so I can be interviewed or hired?"

"Sure!" Kokichi says and then turns around to the other chefs in the back. "HEY! We need the manager!"

"But Kokichi," Shuichi said in the back of the kitchen, confused. "You ARE the manager."

"Oh yeah." Kokichi says and turns to Izuru. "Yeah, you're talking to the manager. And you're hired."

"This is," Izuru thinks and says to Kokichi finally, "this is not boring."

Later on that day, while working the cashier, a woman walks up to him.

"Welcome to McDonald's. What do you want?" Izuru greets.

"I'm actually here to return something!" The angry red haired girl, Mahiru, yells.

"May I ask what the return is?"

"These fries were half cooked." Mahiru said.

"Half cooked, what do you mean?" Izuru says in confusion.

He did not know you could half cook fried. Was that even possible?

"Yes!" Mahiru glared. "And my child was VERY disappointed."

"Okay miss do you have a receipt?"

"What, no." Mahiru said. "I just threw the receipt in the trash can."

"Oh, okay." Izuru looked at her with a blank expression. "Then you can't return this food. May we also see the food you want to 'return'?"

Mahiru throws an empty paper fries holder onto the counter.

"Where's the fries?" Izuru sighs.

"Oh yeah," Mahiru said, "my child Hiyoko ate them all."

"... Miss please exit the restaurant." Izuru said. "You're holding up the line."

Izuru said this, knowing no one else was in line. He just wanted her to get the hell out.

"HOW RUDE!" Mahiru yelled. "LET ME SPEAK TO YOU'RE MANAGER."

"Kay."

Izuru went to the back and told Kokichi what happened. Kokichi started to put white face paint of his face and got some blush in lipstick out of his drawers.

"Sir," Izuru asked, "can I ask what you are doing?"

"Nehehe!" Kokichi put the lipstick onto his nose making a clown nose makeup look. "You will see."

Kokichi soon ran out of the room and started to yell at Mahiru. Mahiru yelled about wanting to speak with the corporate manager. A gunshot was soon heard. The blood got everywhere and Rantaro the janitor was given overtime.

A few days pass and Izuru is still working at McDonald's. Then suddenly, she walked in. Best girl, gamer, Chiaki.

"Excuse me." Chiaki said. "I'll by a Nintendo consoles in one of those Happy Meals."

"I'm sorry." Izuru said looking down in shame. "But consoles were only in Happy Meals in 1990."

"Oh," Chiaki looked disappointed but then said, "then I'll just ask for a Sonic Happy Meal toy instead."

"I can get you that." Izuru said, ringing her up.

"ALRIGHT!" Kokichi yelled to Izuru. "Your shift is over. YOU AREN'T BEING PAYED OVERTIME SO LEAVE OR BUY SOMETHING."

Izuru takes of his shitty hat and walks up to Chaiki.

"So, may I sit here." Izuru said pointing to a table Chaiki was close to.

"Yeah, sure." She said. "Let's, well I will eat."

An hour passed by. Izuru finally had the courage.

"So, Chiaki." Izuru almost stuttered. "I was wondering if we could go on a date. Maybe ride my boat. Or go to somewhere fun. A gaming convention. Somewhere not boring. What do you say."

"I'm sorry, but"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!" Hajime yelled across the restaurant.

"What?" Izuru froze.

"I'm sorry Izuru," Chaiki said. "But I already have a boyfriend, Hajime."

"Fuck off cock sucker." Hajime said.

"Whatever, how boring." Izuru said, leaving the restaurant.

Izuru left, with letting a single tear from one of his eyes come out.

"Why..." Izuru muttered on his way home.

He went inside of the house.

"GOOD HELLO IZURU-!"

"Shut the fuck up you despair horny price of shit." Izuru said. "I'm leaving."

Izuru grabbed his Nintendo 3Ds and left the house and headed to his docking station where he kept his boat.

He walked out to see his private yacht floating at it's dock.

"My boat." Izuru said to the boat.

"Izuru." The boat spoke back. "It's been so long since you road me."

"I know boat." Izuru said back. "I've just been busy looking for something interesting or fun. But now I realize, I have the most fun with you, by my side."

"Izuru..."

"Let's go boat." Izuru said, walking on the ship.

"Where shall we go?" The boat asked.

"To anywhere far from here."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two took off to find land somewhere far away.

Soon, after only a few days, they realized Izuru did not pack food or water and it was too far from land to get back to get resources.

Izuru died from starvation and boat was so sad it cried tears and sunk itself.

The end of this tragic story.