Fuck it all!

My Mum said I shouldn't talk about this online, but she also said no more wattpad, and guess what? FUCK THAT is what I said.

I lasted about a month before feeling myself slowly lose interest in everything. Everything became a chore, except the thought of dying.

So, I'm here, and while I'm here (Since the people I'm talking about already know this is my account) I'm going to be telling you a little about something you might call conspiricies, but they are real.

Now, this isn't some ilumanati or snake people shit. This is believable things.

First off, Google.

Google is the WORST search engine and the most untrustworthy company.

I see you clicking off. Just bare with me.

Now, you can test me. Open up google or something like that (FaceBook does it too) and start talking about something you've never searched or typed -- Say, cat food -- for a couple days.

If you say it clear enough, you should get an ad about what? Cat food.

Or whatever you chose.

Now, this is because they listen to what you say 24/7 and sell that to advirtisers.

"But Author~Chan, how do they do that?"

How do you use speech to text?

They even encourage you to use your microphone. EVERY Google ad starts with the person saying "OK, Google" instead of clicking the search bar, as if its easier.

Theres so many about the government, too. Did you know, at an Ecuadorian (Can't spell it) embassy in London, somebody who leaked actual documents about intelligence agencies spying on their own citizens ("To keep you safe!") has been in there for 7 years because they want to arrest him without a trial?

This is a man who has a son, which he hasn't seen for 7 years!

He hasn't even seen a fucking docter!

Nobody is allowed to see him with tight restrictions (Family, no. Docters, no.)

And then you see all these news outlets (CNN, Fox news, etc) standing 'outside the embassy' claiming no one is protesting, that no one cares, that he should be tortured or thrown in prison, that he's an evil man.

If someone said that was a green screen, I would believe them, because there are massive protests going on 24/7.

Now, I said this affected me, and it does.

Suzie Dawson is one of these jornalists, who has worked her ass off this year, and is finally taking a break to deal with her family and legal situations.

This woman is my Mother.

She is a New Zealender seeking Asylum in russia because it was too dangerous in NZ.

When I say 'too dangerous' I mean trying to blind her from the rear view mirror and drive her off a cliff, mess with the car and try to blow it up too dangerous.

At the time these events occurred both were meant to be accidental deaths. "Some drunk driver accidentally drived her and her kids off a cliff" "A screw accidentally came loose"

Don't feel bad for us, because

1, This happens a LOT to people the government don't like

2, We both are very lucky considering the others

Once a jornalists automatic car killed him, written off as a malfunction

Oh, and don't get me started on tech

You know Alexa? The robot that searchs things up for you?

That is always there to be your helpful friend?

That can turn your oven on and off?

Yes. Alexa can do this if you hook her up, and the deaths spare no one.

The idea is you tell her to preheat the oven or or stove, but she can control it whenever she wants

Or rather, whoever controls her can

Devices are devices, they can be hacked

If you still don't believe me, think about it this way;

The most powerful people in the country don't like someone because they expose lies and don't want to live their way

So, what do they do with the best spys in the country and multiple weapons and tech at their disposal?

See?

Now, you guys might know Topaz. My now Ex-Boyfriend but still my friend.

My Mum always had suspiscions. He would take up my entire life, he was all I could talk about, and in her knowledge I shouldn't be able to fall in love at 12

(Side note, I'm actually 13 now. 3 more years till freedom!)

She had learned that my conversation gave them information, and whether he's real or not I'm still unsure of.

Regardless, Topaz was the love of my life and at the time I would do anything for his happiness, even give up my own life

Well, I guess thats not saying anything. You get my point

Now, I don't know if he's real or not

One of their tactics is this;

Stop the target from any human socialization, isolate them. Then make a persona for their likes and dislikes and make them bump into each other online.

You see, the point is that your so desperate for friends, for socialization, that you ignore any suspiscions or hints they accidentally drop, and that you'll talk more

Now think about it;

I can't attend school
I'm in a foreign country, where I don't know the language
My only socialization is a drama class every Saturday, my Mother/Brother, and roommate (Who's always out)

They've already isloated me

Fuck, I can't live out of isolation!

I have so many trust issues, social problems, paranoia, and other things now that if I meet a stranger my Mother hasn't approved of then I can't form a proper conversation

My first realization was once I couldn't talk to the waiter

When I say that, I mean I couldn't at all. It was all stutters, until I eventually just pointed to the menu

Once the "You must of looked so stupid, why would you waste their time?!" passed I realized just how bad that was

This now barely happens, but the fact that it happens at all is bad

I'm sorry this is so long, but I just need to say one more thing;

They freeze my Mothers credit card for no reason, leaving her wondering if we'll get evicted every month

And thats it, really

This has turned into a rant book and I don't give a fuck