More writing advice.
It's serous this time.

Okay... so... take this one tip:
When a person speaks, skip the lines.

For instance:

"Hey... you doing okay, Jess?" "I'm fine." I sighed.
Is slightly jumbled.

Instead, try this:

"Hey..." you doing okay, Jess?"
"I'm fine..." I sighed.

Isn't that better?

Now, I'm not offending anyone, but in case you wanted a tip- you got one.

Love you all, and don't forget to smile!