Who gives you the Fucking right to reopen wounds?

Do you like seeing me in pain?

Gasping for breath as my chest gets heavy, my head gets woozy from all the air not going to it?

I get it, that's your daughter, but she's my mother. I know I shouldn't, but I miss her. I miss my father who died when I was three.

Who gives you the Fucking right to bully me based on my mental health?

I have Paranoia, extreme Paranoia, PTSD, Depression, anxiety. But you don't see that, you see a moody 14 year old.

It's not because of that, you dumb bitch.

If I had to choose between a random stranger and you, I'd choose the stranger.

I feel no love for you, I fucking despise you.

Oh, but jump on me when I actually ask for help.

"You don't need it"

"Just cope up with it. Find ways to cope with it."

My ways of coping with it, is cutting myself until I can't feel the pain.

I've tried commiting suicide three times, and you didn't know.

While I was cutting, you were bragging about my sister.

While I was struggling, you were laughing and smiling.

I don't know how to be normal any more. I don't know how to go up to someone and ask them out.

I don't know how to act around people.

I hate humanity so much. What they've done to me, to others that have had it worse. How they laughed in my face when I told them I was being abused.

How they called me a liar, saying I just wanted attention.

How they said I deserved it. So, my childhood was ruined and I deserved it?

I know my death won't mean anything to you people.

You just cut me down and make me worse.

I feel no remorse for my actions anymore. Why should i?

I could kill someone right now, and laugh.

Do you like it when I have breakdowns?

When I break things? When I punch walls?

When I bust my knuckles, trying to release some of this anger?

I have anger issues. You could breathe in my direction and I'd fucking cut you.

You guys probably won't read all of this, and that's okay.

My death won't mean anything.

I'll just be another teen who wanted attention.

Who couldn't make it.

Who wasn't strong enough to try.

I worry about others more than I worry about myself.

I don't have to see you, and I'd die for you.

You could be an internet friend and I would kill for you.

Because the need for attention, any attention, is greater than my need to live.

I'm so sorry I couldn't make it.

My dog will wonder where her mother went, why I'm not there to hold her.

I just need someone, anyone, to tell me that my life is worth it.

If you can't give me 5 reasons to live.....well.

This might be the last time you hear from me, and I just want you to know that:

Toby, you're life is worth living. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met. You listened to me when everyone else bullied me. Those few minutes of being loved was enough.

Clock, we'll never get to move in together. We'll never be roommates. I'm so sorry that I couldn't live for you. You promised me happiness and like a fool, I turned it down.

Cristal, you were like the mother that I never had, that I always wanted. I'm so sorry that I couldn't live for you. I hope jill is okay. And I hope your grandfather finds love again.

You guys were the family that I always wanted. And I thank you for your support and encouragement but it wasn't enough.

I give you guys 1 hour to give me my 5 reasons. After that, well.

Love, Kaytlyn.