It's three in the morning here. Yup. And I'm awake, typing this, because I can't sleep.

I have trouble falling asleep. A lot of trouble. Sleeping is very difficult.

I prefer to stay in whatever state of consciousness I am already in. I don't like going to sleep. I also don't like waking up.

It has been this way since I was a baby. I do not like being asleep I do not like waking up naps are not my thing. Naps are not an option. Naps are sleeping during the day which is plain upsurd. No. I refuse.

But waking up is a lot easier than falling asleep. Like poof I'm up I'm up when I'm up. Done. Boom.

But when I try to sleep . . .  Guys I "went to bed" several hours ago didn't even look at my phone. I'm tired. I'm really tired. I should be asleep. I tried counting I tried yoga I tried music. I don't know how to sleep. I think this might be a serious issue. It's 3 am and I'm awake. Why am I awake?

I just checked the symptoms for insomnia and the only one I actually have is not being able to get to sleep so I guess it's not insomnia and that's the only actual thing I can think of for it to be.

I have to get up at five thirty am every morning to go to school on time. I don't know how to deal with this. This is not good for me. I am worrying.

Anyway yeah that's all I have to say so I guess I'm going to go see if I can find out why I can't sleep. Idk. Maybe this is nothing and I just need to try something else.

Maybe I should find me some drugs and see if that works.