(I forgot to post this last year so hear it is.)

I am afraid of everything that is happening. In my life i don't want anyone to be concerned about me. But i still had to write it down because panic attacks are kicking in. Idk how long it will last but my heart and soul are not supporting me enough. I am weak and lonely to the the point that i want to leave my family.

That is a dream though. A dream that might never actually happen in real life. But i want it to happen. I keep praying and hoping that i can go far far away from this hell. I don't want to live here. It is suffocating me. To the very core and cell.

I don't want to die yet. I still have dreams to turn them into reality. I want to be successful and I want everyone to know my name with grace and respect.

I want to go away. Far far away. Still wishing when that time will come. Please come quickly.

- Ruba
28 April, 2k19