me: *is literally running out of quotes*
also me: M O R E C O N T E N T 👁👄👁
hope u like them jully 🥺❤️
LAURENS207

***

Alex: Coca cola can remove rust from metal. Imagine what it can do to your body-
John: Pfff remove the rust from my body you idiot-
Alex: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS-
John: That sounds like someone who needs the rust removed from their body-

***

John, sobbing: I just figured out snails don't have ears! They can't hear when I call them beautiful!
Alex: w H a T-

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Alex: Do you know that moment when you're lying on your stomach, then you get up and your ribs stab you-
John: Are- are you okay-
Alex: *distant choking*

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John: Frances been telling me to stop singing "I'm a Believer" all the time and at first I thought she was joking-
John, putting on a pair of sunglasses and starting to dance: But then I saw her face-

***

John: Alex has five brain cells-
John: Two for being gay, one that hoards all his knowledge, one for drawing, and one for writing-

***

Alex: Can I get you anything to drink-
John: The tears of my enemies wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed-
Alex:
Alex: We have jasmine tea-
John: Oh jasmine. Yes please-

***

Alex: You need to stop doing weird things, going out might help-
John: I went to the park today-
Alex: There you go! I hope you got something from that-
John, opening his coat: This duck-

***

John: If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404 so basically this entire year is an error message. There is a glitch in the matrix. Welcome to my ted talk-

***

Alex: Summer break. I got my hat on backwards and it's time to party-
Alex: *smacks his head on the garage door*
John: *wheezing while watching him*

***

John: Do you ever just
John: *vigorously shakes entire body, accompanied by a cacophony of cracks*
Alex: Dear lord-

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John: Did humans invent math or did we discover it? Does math even exist?
Alex: Babe please I'm t i r e d-

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Alex: What's it like to be tall? Is it nice? Can you comfortably reach cupboards-
John: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want-

***

Alex: I hate the whole "Frankenstein was the doctor" thing-
Alex: First of all, he was a college dropout, so don't you "doctor" me-
John, snorting: Mr. Frankenstein-

***

John: I have good news and bad news-
Alex: Good news?
John: Dogs are adorable-
Alex: ...bad news?
John, on the verge of tears: Not everyone has a dog-

***

John: Ah, my dearest Philip! My favorite child! World's most intelligent kid! My-
Philip: What meme do you want me to explain this time-

***

Alex: Why are you drinking coffee at 10 pm-
John: Time is an illusion. Once you realize that, you can trascend, and live in bliss-
John: Also I have a ten page report for work due in the morning that I completely forgot about-

***

John, rolling down the window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get out of my car-

***

Jon: I have the height advantage-
Alex: Your kneecaps don't-

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Alex: Compliment me! Tell me my hair looks beautiful!
Angie: But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today-

***

Alex: The stars are beautiful-
John: You know who's even more beautiful-
Alex: :)
John: Koda-

***

Alex: So how do tall people like you possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you-
John: Alex it's four o'clock in the morning-
Alex: So you can't sleep huh? Is it because of the blanket-

***

Alex: Are you afraid I'm gonna tell everyone you like to be little spoon-
John: Everyone likes to be little spoon! It makes you feel safe!

***

John: Did you have breakfast-
Alex: What? That's not on the checklist-
John: I added it because I care about you. Check your pocket-
Alex: *pulls out a granola bar*

***

Alex: *crying*
John: No no, it's okay....don't be cry-

***

John: Adults don't care about their birthdays-
Alex: Last year you rode in on a horse-

***

John: What a week, huh?
Alex: John it's Wednesday-

***

John: And last but not least, my lucky hat-
Alex: What's so lucky about it-
John: Once when I was wearing this hat, everyone I knew gave me a present-
Alex: That was your birthday-

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John: I'm hardly ever late!
Alex: We're late getting to Eleanor's right now-

***

John, looking in the mirror: Just the person I wanted to see!
Alex: *smiles behind him*
John: Oh. Hi Alex-

***

John Hey Alex, what are we eating tonight-
Alex: Tonight I'm serving LOOKS-
Frances: *slams fists on table* WE HAVEN'T EATEN IN THREE DAYS-

***

John: What if "It's Raining Men" and "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" are both about the same event but from different perspectives-
Alex: I'm literally begging you to stop-

***

Philip: Why do you go to sleep so late?
John, looking off into the distance: There's no rest for the wicked-
Philip:
John:
Alex: Dog TikToks. He stays up late to watch dog TikToks-

***

John: Hey we're out of chocolate milk-
Alex And I'm out of patience-
John:
John: Okay well next time you go to the store could you like pick up some chocolate milk-

***

Alex: When will you ever grow up-
John: Will I still get free cookies if I do-
Alex: No-
John:  Then you have your answer-

***

Philip: I'm so tired of everyone treating me like a kid. I'm a man!
John: Here's your apple juice Pip-
Philip:
Philip: Where's my swirly straw-

***

Alex: Oh complain, complain! You know, when life gives you lemons-
John: I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS-

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John: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang up mistletoe, but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it!
Alex: We are not doing that-
Frances: Mistlefoe-
Alex: Frances no-

***

John at 4am: Psst Alex-
Alex, half asleep: Hm?
John: There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing right next to us and we would never know-
Alex:
Alex: *shoves pillow onto his head*

***

Alex: Hey where's your dad?
Angie: It is raining outside Papa. Maybe he melted-

***