"How do you feel about New York?" Zayn asked suddenly, as we were eating breakfast.

"I've never been but I hear it's pretty," I respond, not making much of his question.

"I have a job opening up there, high ranking."

"With who?" I questioned.

Zayn set his hands down on the table. "A law firm. Boss is some big shot lawyer, he's one of the richest men in the city."

I wondered where this would leave me. "Are you going to take it? What about Abel, why can't he?"

He nods. "I have to. I'm first pick. I've done everything they've asked," he says sadly, "I can't say no. We'd be leaving after the baby is born."

"Zayn..." I think about it for a moment. I'd love a fresh start, but I don't want to be involved in his work. "It's dangerous."

He looks at me knowingly. "I'd never compromise your safety if you are close to my work."

I try to think about all of this in a more positive light. "I still have to go home."

"Yeah, thats something else. I've got someone I work with willing to take the fall for your kidnapping. Just," he takes a deep breath, "don't mention me. You never saw his face, whatever. As soon as we get this sorted, we're going to stay at my sister's vacation house until the cabin is furnished."

"You think it'll work out?" I say, very unsure. "I just want to get this mess over with."

Zayn looks at me with a sort of sad gaze. "Are you going to stay?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Harry."

My stomach drops. "How do you know about that?"

"Because I know you. I'm not upset. I'm just asking you now," He takes my hands, "do you want to stay with me?"

"Yes," Ignoring this terrible guilt that multiplies unnaturally, I kiss him briefly. "I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

His eyes reveal so much to me. I know him so well. Sometimes I can see this scared, lonely boy in them. Other times, a man who believes he is unlovable. The light in them has dimmed due to the senseless violence he has seen, but sometimes I can see it. This is a man who lost it all and let his heart go cold. Was I certain he would ever change for the better? Yes. There was always hope that he would forgive himself.

So many nights he confessed to me that he often felt very dead inside, that there was truly no reason to live if he was a monster. On one of these nights, I remember him telling me I was the only reason. Zayn believed there wouldn't be anyone after me. I hoped he was right.

"I love you," he says after a moment. "I'm sorry."

"Zayn..."

He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. We sit next to each other and he looks at me with adoration. "I'm sorry I constantly hurt you. I don't know why I'm like this, but I don't wanna be. After this job, i'm done. I'm gonna get out of this lifestyle, for you and for the baby."

He cups my face in his hands and I relax into his touch. "I understand you, I know you. There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm just glad it's gonna be over soon."

"I can't lose you. I'd go crazy."

"Hey," I kiss his palm, "you're not going to. We're always going to be connected."

He looks down at his lap. "You're the only person who knows me, that's why I can feel that you love me. You don't run. You take care of me in more ways than you know, angel. You're my guardian angel."

I look into his eyes and see genuine remorse. I know he's sorry. I can't hate him, I've never been able to. He's very broken, lost... but I feel this urge to try and take that away. I want nothing more than for him to feel happy for once and for us to be able to be together without any immediate threats of danger.

"I know you. I know your past and I just need you to know that I don't see that. I see you," I hold his face in my hands, "I only see you. We will always be a part of each other, no matter what."

"I'm lucky I have you. I know that no matter what, you're with me..." He smiles and looks back at the revolver on the table next to us. "I owe you one, Bonnie."