I was home with my mom the other day, watching 22 Jump Street and eating my pizza rolls. Just as it got to a really funny part ("I think we should investigate other people. We'll still investigate together, it'll just be....an open investigation."), the fucking power went out. And me, being the totally mature teenager I am, yelped and fell off the couch. Yep, great job, LJ.

Our natural reaction, of course, is to get into our mini van, in the pouring rain and lightning, and drive to Wal-Mart.

So we're walking through Wal-Mart, I'm wearing my Iron Man shirt and Captain America hat, just radiating total swag. This one worker comes up to me and is like: "What kind of hat is that?"

The first thing that comes out of my mouth is: "It's Captain America, motherfuc-" And then I remember my mom is right next to me. (She won't stop teasing me about it, either. It sucks)

We go about our purchases, quoting 22 Jump Street and "It's Captain America, motherfucker." We're probably the weirdest looking people in the store, with our superglue, MARVEL shirt, GOTG poster, Barbie pony, coffee, donuts, Hostess Orange cupcakes, and Gamora action figure. We don't even have a cart, or a basket. Nah, we is carrying that shit and I'm constantly dropping the superglue.

So we go up to the self check outs, and everything is going great, until the machine beeps at us while we're trying to scan the superglue.

Turns out, you need an ID to buy superglue. Yeah, because people are using it as an inhalant, apparently.

My question is WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT TO INHALE SUPERGLUE???? SERIOUSLY.

Seriously.