Ahh relationships. Some friendly. Some romantic. Some in between. Some all over the place.

It's crazy yanno? A lot of the time, as sad as it sounds, you'll lose some relationships along the way.

Personally I've lost so many I lost count. Friendly ones I mean. I'm the one people often forget about. The last pick. The "oh yeah there's that one guy I think". I won't lie, it hurts. Even now when I've become used to it. It still hurts. I know I suck at communicating and I know it's not a good excuse, but sometimes I just wish I wasn't always the one to message first yanno?

That's probably the one thing about me that I constantly fail to fix or change about myself. I know my weaknesses and I've become almost content with them.

Couple with a lot of mistakes which I thought I solved, but sadly weren't. A lot of the time I wish I could go back and never met these people. The idea of knowing someone doesn't think about you as much as you do them just hurts.

I've never been one for romantics... well maybe 3 times. Those 3 time for a moment I thought maybe they're the one. But then I remembered who I was as a person.

Like anyone I was scared of them, becoming something more only for it to falter. But "always shoot your shot" they say. The problem with meeting peeps online is that, they can always find someone else but IRL. Not everyone wants to wait and I get that.

Yeah, the worst is losing a friend and the person who you think is best for you. Right now? I'd take those odds.

I've got nothin to lose anymore. Nothin at all.

Heck sometimes I wish I never decided to download this stupid app on a whim. Look where it's gotten me.

Well regretting the past solves nothin, but nothing I do will make it go away.

Maybe I'll continue this, I dunno.
《Ender out》