hey y'all. i know i said i wouldn't updated my books and that i'm taking a break. but wattpad has been a good place for me to vent and express my feelings so even though i'm not updating my stories, i'll most probably come here and rant or show you my poetry. i did say i'll come on every now and then lolol.

my friend Shea xoxo7777 gave me this tip to deal with the stress and anxiety i've been feeling lately. she said to write it all out, either just simply like a ramble or through poetry because that's what she does and it works for her. as you can tell from my rant about anxiety, i haven't been feeling the best and this week was probably the worst because the anxiety started taking a toll on my body and everything. it wasn't just the anxiety with texting, there were other factors like my exams and family problems that were all piling up. 

so i wrote a poem. poetry isn't my thing but i thought i would give it a try. this poem is kinda morbid (in my opinion) and kinda shit since it's my first attempt. let me know your thoughts, interpretations and etc!

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Wretched Rat

The wretched rat crawls around inside my body

It pollutes my blood with its sickness

Gnaws on my brain with its yellowed teeth

Sits in my heart and weighs it down like an anchor

And bathes in the acidic juices of my stomach

Disrupting the equilibrium of my body. My home.

I call for the exterminator to get rid of this vermin in my body

They said that they'd be there for me when I needed them

Poison flooded my body and placed rat traps. Their way of "helping me".

It wrecked my organs and I stepped on half of the traps.

They don't understand. The wretched rat may be gone.

But it's soul will continue to desecrate me for as long as I live. 

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i kinda dig this poetry thing so i'll probably write more in the future and put it up here, since i'm not updating my stories. it's relieving in some way.

i feel much better now, in terms of my anxiety levels, and i wanted to thank you all for the kind comments you've shared on that rant and also relating to me and showing me that i'm not alone. it truly means the world to me and. please if you ever need to talk, reach out to me through twitter or instagram, i say this instead of wattpad dm because i'm not gonna be checking this app for regularly.

i love you all 

THAT'S ALL FOLKS