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Exhausted, I dragged my feet up the last few steps. Pausing to fish my keys out of my pocket, I balanced the paper bag of groceries on my hip.
I blinked rapidly as the keyhole blurred in and out of focus. I really was exhausted and my whole body felt like my bones were noodles.
The fact that I was so close to my bed somehow made me feel even more tired.
I pushed the key inside the keyhole, it was met with resistance and clattered in a muffled noise against the Welcome carpet I'd gotten on discount at Target. I groaned bending to pick them up, only for my groceries to come tumbling out of the paper bag in a flurry of colors that left me dizzy.
I suddenly had a strong urge to cry.
I slid to the floor with my back against the door. I brought the heel of my palm up to press into my eyes. Letting out strangled groan.
"You need some help?"
I let out a little yelp at the interruption, I dragged my hands away from my eyes, blinking away the static from my vision.
"Uhh, I'm fine it's just...been a long day." I mumbled. Scrambling to pick up the groceries and stuff them into the frail paper bag. Silently cursing myself for having a mini breakdown in the hallway.
I picked up a can of green beans a few times before I realized that I had totally missed the mouth of the bag and had been trying to pack the same can for the last minute.
I cursed out loud.
My face began to get hot when a figure bent beside me, I watched dazedly as long slender fingers reached out to curl around the can of beans.
"You have really nice fingers." I muttered before promptly bringing my hand up to slap my forehead.
"Jesus! I can't believe I just said that out loud." I whisper yelled to myself.
I watched embarrassed as the person expertly dropped the rest of groceries into my bag. I was further startled by the deep chuckle that erupted from him.
"You're good ma."
I grabbed my keys and the paper bag, stuffing it securely under my arm this time. I rose up suddenly, which was the hundredth mistake I'd made since day.
My head swam and my vision clouded with the familiar static I'd come to associate with low blood pressure. I had forgotten to pack lunch again and had to settle for a granola bar for lunch. A strong hand gripped my arm and steadied me, I felt the giddiness dissipate slowly.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
I blinked up at the person, finally allowing myself to see them this time.
I felt myself recoil immediately.
Not out of disgust.
That would be crazy. Because the man standing before me was everything except disgusting. As a matter a fact, I became super aware of my appearance because of how not disgusting he looked. Most of his face was in shadows because of the dark hoodie he was wearing, but judging by what I could see...
I was pretty sure my fly aways had made a halo around my head and my eyes probably had dark circles the size of tennis balls. I had previously untucked my work blouse from my pants and was aware of the circle of crumples that was visible at the bottom half. I probably had sweat rings from my trek up the stairs and I no doubt looked as exhausted as I felt.
So attractive. I thought to myself
"I'll be fine. Uhm, thank you." I said before turning around quickly to jam my keys into my door. Hurriedly pushing the door open I stepped in,
only pausing to say another thank you before shutting the door quickly.
I leant my head against the door, my face set in a grimace as I replayed my cringe worthy behavior in my head. I let out a loud groan, slapping my hand over my mouth when I heard a faint chuckle from outside my door.
I trudged into the kitchen, forcing myself to forget the encounter as I unpacked the groceries in a zombie-like manner. When I was done I folded the paper bag and put it away in the drawer with the others.
Kicking off my shoes, I began to undress as I made my way into my bedroom. Settling onto my bed with a contented smile, I felt the fatigue roll off of me in waves. Closing my eyes, I welcomed the bliss of sleep.
____•____
After having breakfast I hurriedly washed the dishes as I got ready to leave for work.
I checked the clock on the wall, I had about forty five minutes before I was due to log in. I stuffed my feet into my shoes while simultaneously grabbing my keys and remembering this time to take up my packed lunch.
I hurried down the stairs and immediately started looking around for a taxi. It'd take me about thirty minutes to get to work, less time if traffic was not as busy as it usually is. When a yellow cab pulled up at my foot after I had fanned it down frantically, I wasted no time hopping in.
"Cumberland Services." I said quickly after greeting the driver. Settling in as the taxi drove off.
Cumberland is where I spent the most exhausting 8 hours of my day. I worked as a customer service representative. Listening to people's complaints and trying to find solutions all day tends to drain you.
It's been almost three months and I've already had enough of the whole shebang. My letter of resignation was already drafted, I just needed to hit send. The only reason I was still there was because jobs are harder to get in the big cities.
And I hadn't gotten any call backs for the applications I've sent out.
When I had left home at nineteen to try and make it in the big world, this was nowhere near what I had prepared for. It's been almost a year, and I had only saved up just enough for the first semester of college.
I let out a sigh as the taxi pulled up to the big grey building. It towered over me dauntingly, I could almost feel the exhaustion creeping into my bones.
I pulled out my phone and clicked on my emails. Hitting send on the drafted resignation, I paid the driver and slid out. They've got their notice, two more weeks and I'd be out of here, two more weeks and I'll be out of a job.
During my hour lunch break I checked my emails, scrolling through my Horoscopes and Amazon deals. I reread the email from the University I had gotten almost last weeks. It confirmed my college application was being processed and reminded me of the dates left for my first semester payment. I let out a sigh. Immediately losing my appetite.
When my lunch hour was up and I had realized I only managed to take a few bites of my lunch, I groaned. Walking to the bathroom on this floor, I checked all the stalls making sure I was alone, before leaning over the sink and rubbing tiredly at my face.
I splashed cool water on my face and used the scratchy paper towel to pat it dry, pausing to stare at my reflection in the mirror. Despite my attempts to tame my flyaways with gel and satin scarves my hair had already gotten messy. My eyes were red rimmed and had matching dark bags under them. My face looked sunken and pale.
I had been worrying too much about my future since lately.
I was stressing over my job, and my school fees that were due before my admission could be complete. I had applied for some scholarships to help alleviate the effect of the fees on my slim savings but I hadn't gotten contacted by anyone yet.
I also wasn't eating as much as I should. And it showed in my prominent collarbone and slim petite frame.
Sometimes I felt hopeless and in those moments of weakness thoughts of going home to settle in the life everyone expected of me plagued my mind. But every time the thought presented itself I shoved it away.
I was determined to make it out here in the big world. Steeling my resolve I gave myself one last glance in the mirror before walking away.
I refuse to accept defeat. I'll make it, one way or another.
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A/N
Hey guys, I just had to cough out a little chapter 😭
It's not perfect because I was focusing on finishing my other book BUT NOW THAT THAT ONE IS COMPLETED Rakim will get the time and effort it deserves. CHAPTER ISN'T EDITED, but it's something. Enjoy
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