I walked into Ben’s room the next day. Shane had been crying for him all day but he hadn’t come out of the room. He hadn’t eaten anything and he hadn’t talked to anyone.

                Ben was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest in the corner. I walked over to him and sat down. I placed my arm around him gently and he jumped a little. Ben was the kind of person who got so lost in thought that he didn’t process anything that was happening around him.

                He looked at me with broken eyes. “I am so sorry Ali,” he whispered, shaking. I kissed his cheek and gave him a weak smile. “It’s alright Ben. I forgive you. But you have to get help. You’re anger…it’s controlling you Ben. It’s scary. And it’s going to hurt someone,” I said quietly.

                “SIDS,” he whispered. I gave him a confused look. “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I had it when I was a baby. I almost died.” He looked down at his hands. “I would’ve died if my dad hadn’t been there when I stopped breathing. I wish he hadn’t been there.”

                My eyes widened. “Ben, don’t say those kinds of things,” I begged. He shook his head. “If I had died as a baby, think how happy everyone would’ve been. My dad could’ve taken Jeydyn and raised her happily. You wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. You’d be going to college. Maybe you’d be dating Jersey.”

                I shuddered violently at the thought of my old best friend. He had slammed Ben’s head against a wall, putting him in the hospital.

                I took Ben’s hands in mine and forced him to look into my eyes. “If you had died as an infant, Hanley would’ve killed himself 3 years ago. Your sister might have never been born. Your two beautiful sons would have never been born.”

                “But you would’ve been happier,” he whispered, looking away from me. “Benjamin Robert Jarvis, I love you. I love our sons. Maybe we didn’t expect to have kids so young but the fact is that it happened and we can’t change it. And I’ve never been so happy in my life,” I said truthfully.

                I turned his face to me and pressed my lips to his lovingly. He dropped his head in shame when I had pulled away. “I wanted to make her cry,” he whimpered. “I wanted to make everyone in that room cry. Even Shawn. Oh god. I’m a terrible person Ali.” He buried his face in his hands and shook violently.

                I pulled him close to me and held him. He needed someone to be there for him. Maybe he didn’t want to admit it, but I knew he needed someone to hold him. He had been neglected through so much of his life. He was so broken.

                I held Ben for a long time as he desperately tried not to break. It broke my heart to see someone like Ben like this. He had always been the unbreakable bad boy.

                “Does she hate me?” he asked at last. I looked down at him. I had been holding him for about an hour. I shook my head. “She’ll never hate you Ben,” I whispered and kissed his lips. He kissed me back deeply.

                I got up and helped Ben up. “I should apologize,” he said quietly. I nodded. “You should. And you should fix this whole thing with Shane. Let him know you’re not going anywhere.” I gave him an encouraging smile and grabbed his hand. He smiled back weakly as we left the room.

                We went into the kitchen where JJ and Jeydyn were sitting together, talking and coloring. Jeydyn went quiet as she looked at Ben. She looked away and chewed on her lip.

                “Jeydyn,” Ben choked out. “I am so sorry baby. I love you,” he whispered. Her eyes watered. “Why did you hit me Benny?” she asked quietly. “Because I have a problem. But I’m going to get help for that problem,” he said.

                She jumped up and ran over, flinging herself into Ben’s arms sobbing. He held her tightly and squeezed his eyes shut as he stroked her hair. “I love you so much Jeydyn,” he whispered. “I love you Benny,” she whimpered.

                He kissed her forehead and pulled away from her. JJ smiled at them softly. Ben grabbed my hand and smiled at Jeydyn again before pulling me up to the twins’ room. He opened the door and the boys looked up. They had been playing on the floor with Claire.

                “Daddy!” Shane shrieked and ran to him. Ben picked Shane up and kissed him. “Hey buddy. I’m right here,” he said gently as Shane wrapped his arms around Ben and whimpered.

                Shawn wandered over and impatiently tugged on my pant leg. I laughed and picked him up. I kissed his forehead and stood next to Ben.

                “Shane, I will never leave you,” Ben said, staring seriously into Shane’s eyes. Shane frowned deeply. “But Aunt Jeydyn said-” “Aunt Jeydyn was lying,” he said softly. “You won’t leave?” Shane asked anxiously. “I’ll never leave you,” he promised. “Pinky swear?” Shane asked and I smiled as Ben took his pinky. “Pinky swear buddy,” he said and kissed Shane again.

                Shane smiled and rested his head on Ben’s shoulder. Claire smiled at us. She got up and pulled Ben and Shane into a hug. “You make a great father Benjamin,” she promised. He smiled softly. “Thanks grandma.”

                We sat down on the ground with the boys and played with them. There was a knock on the boys’ door and we all glanced at each other in confusion. JJ and Jeydyn didn’t usually knock. “Come in,” Ben called awkwardly.

                “BJ!”

                Chris.