“Hello Benjamin Jarvis,” she said smugly once I had gotten over the shock of seeing her again. I fixed her with a glare. “Hi Jenny,” I growled. She eyed the bag in my hand. “Cigarettes?” I pulled out the children’s Tylenol.        

                She laughed. “Still caring for those kids? Oh Ben. You were the smartest boy in the class and the only one who forgot to use a condom.” I shoved it roughly back in the bag. “Don’t piss me off,” I warned her.

                She flipped her hair and moved closer to me. “Forget about it all for a night Ben,” she whispered seductively. I shoved her away from me. “I have kids Jenny. I don’t sleep around anymore.” That and I had made a promise to my dad that once the twins were born, I wouldn’t have sex anymore.

                Jenny laughed again. “Benjamin Jarvis not having sex? I don’t believe. You were the biggest man whore I had ever met.” I shrugged. “I was 15 and stupid. I’m 18 now. Like I said, I have kids. I need to be there for them.” I didn’t want to risk knocking anyone else up. I had knocked up a girl before Ali.

                And I was not about to make the same mistake 3 times.

                I turned and unlocked my car. “Bye bitch,” I said coldly and got in. I drove away from her and hesitated before making my way to Chris’s house. I knocked on the door and he let me in and handed me a cigarette.

                We went into his backyard and lit them. I decided not to tell him the Jenny thing. There was no need to. Besides, thinking of that whore just pissed me off.

                I smoked and relaxed as I talked to Chris. Actually, he was doing most of the talking. My life now consisted of my boys and work. Chris actually got to hang out with all our friends and go to concerts. Now that high school was over, he was really partying hard.

                I felt a longing in my chest for that kind of life again. Drinking, smoking, and sleeping around. Having fun and not caring whose heart I broke along the way. Fighting when I was mad and drinking when I was sad. I wasn’t stuck with just one girl. I could sneak out of my house and live my life the way I loved to. Go out to concerts on the weekends and skip school to fuck around.

                I stomped out the cigarette and stood up. “You leaving BJ?” Chris asked with a deep frown. I nodded. “Yea. I have to get the Tylenol to Shane.” He sighed and stood up. “Alright. Text me later.” I shrugged. “If I can find time,” I said bitterly.

                He gave me a sympathetic look and I ignored it. “I’ll see you at the restaurant tomorrow Chris,” I said with a sigh. Chris’s dad owned the restaurant and employed both of us. Chris nodded and followed me to my car. “See ya tomorrow BJ,” he said and watched me drive away.

                I got back home and went inside. “What took so long?” Ali demanded. I handed her the Tylenol. “I couldn’t find it anywhere,” I lied. She glared. “I smell it Ben. You bought cigarettes. You told me you quit 3 years ago!” she snapped.

                Shit. I forgot to chew gum to hide the smell on my breath. Or to make sure the smoke wasn’t coming back at us when we blew it out. I sniffed my clothes and mentally cursed.

                “Just take it!” I snapped. She glared. “Go give it to Shane. I have to give Shawn a bath.” She picked him up and carried him away. I clenched my fists and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to calm myself down before I went up to Shane. I didn’t want to snap at him.

                “Benny? Are you okay?” I opened my eyes and faced my little sister Jeydyn. She was only 9. “Yea Jey. I’m fine,” I lied. She looked hopeful. “Do you want to play outside with me?” she asked. “I can’t,” I said. I watched the hope in her eyes die out. My heart broke at the sight of her.

                “I’m sorry Jey. Shane’s sick. I have to give him this,” I said, hopelessly trying to give her an excuse. I always blew her off. It had to be so hard on her. She used to be the center of all my attention before the boys were born. The only person I had loved.

                I hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry Jeydyn,” I whispered. She hugged me back so tightly it almost hurt. I pulled away to see her silently crying. I kissed her forehead lovingly. “How about I sleep in your room tonight?” I offered.

                She smiled softly. “Yea!” I smiled at her before making my way up to Shane’s room. “Hey buddy. How do you feel?” I asked him as I gently picked him up. He shook his head and whimpered. I kissed his forehead and gave him the Tylenol. I gently rocked with him for a little. I was about to put him back in his crib-Ali didn’t want them having beds until they were in preschool-when I heard Ali and my dad screaming at each other from downstairs.