I carried Shawn into the restaurant. Ali was carrying Shane. “4?” the waitress asked with a pleasant smile. “Yes please,” I said with a nod. She grabbed some menus and led us to a booth. “Oh I’m sorry! Do you a want 2 boosters seats?” she asked.

                I glanced at Ali. Ali shrugged. “I think they’ll be alright,” she said with a smile. The waitress nodded as we sat down. “Can I get you drinks to start off with?”

                “I’ll have a root beer please,” I said. Ali nodded. “Me too.” She looked at the boys. “And they’ll just have chocolate milk.” The waitress left to get us our drinks and I opened the menu.

                “Ben…this is so great. Thank you so much for taking us out,” Ali said sincerely, a loving smile on her face. I smiled back at her just as lovingly. “It’s no problem Ali. I just wanted our family to get out together for once.” I smiled at Shawn as he stared around the restaurant in awe. We had never taken the boys to a restaurant before.

                The waitress came back a few minutes later with the drinks. She set them down, thankfully having given the boys tops on their drinks.

                Ali handed Shane his milk and was careful not to let him drop it as he thirstily drank it. “Have you decided what you’d like or do you need more time?” she asked pleasantly. “I think we know,” I said, nodding at Ali. She nodded back and set Shane’s milk on the table.

                “Daddy, give me my milk!” Shawn whined, his tiny arms unable to reach it. “Shawn, say please,” I said and handed it to him. He ignored me and drank. I rolled my eyes.

                “I’ll have the riggies,” Ali said and the waitress wrote it down. “I’ll have the riggies too please,” I said and handed her my menu. “And can we just get an order of chicken fingers for the boys?” The waitress nodded and took the rest of the menus. “I’ll be right back with some bread for you guys!” she said pleasantly.

                She returned back a minute later with four plates and two baskets of bread. She began to set the stuff down and I heard a “thud”. I looked down to see that Shawn had lazily dropped his milk.

                “Dammit Shawn,” I growled and picked it up. “You’re lucky it didn’t spill! Don’t just drop it!” I was trying to keep my voice low so I didn’t disturb the other people around us.

                “It’s not a problem if he spills it sir,” the waitress said with a friendly smile towards Shawn. “I’d prefer it if he didn’t,” I said with a sigh as I set his milk on the table.

                “Ben, calm down. He probably didn’t mean to drop it,” Ali said. Shawn reached his arms towards the milk again. “Give me it!” he whined. I glared. “No. Say please.” “No!” Shawn argued and began to stand. I pulled him back into a sitting position.

                “Stop it Shawn,” I hissed in his ear. “You’re in a restaurant. Act like a big boy.” The waitress shot us a nervous glance before going to check on the food.

                Ali was frowning. “Ben, please calm down.” I shook my head. “No Ali. Shane’s being a perfectly good boy. I don’t understand why Shawn can’t behave too. If Shane can behave, Shawn can too.”

                “Mommy, can I please have my milk?” Shane asked innocently. Ali smiled at him. “Of course honey,” she said and handed it to him.

                “See Shawn? Your brother says please,” I said, trying desperately to stay calm. “I want it!” Shawn said, not bothering to keep his voice down. A few people glanced at us.

                “Sh!” I hissed. His behavior was ruining everything! “Daddy!” he argued angrily. “If you say please, you can have the damn milk Shawn!” I snapped, somehow managing to keep my voice quiet.

                “No!” he screamed, causing more people to look at us. Embarrassed, I shook my head at him. “Shawn, stop it!” “No!” he screamed even louder. That’s it.

                I picked him up and hesitated before moving towards the bathroom. “No, no, no! Daddy no!” he shrieked, pounding his fists against me. “Shawn stop it!” I snapped. “You’re causing a scene! People are trying to enjoy their dinner!” But on he went.

                I made it to the bathroom with him and set him on the counter next to the sink. Luckily, no one was in the bathroom.

                “Now you are going to stop this right now or I’m taking you home!” I threatened. “NO!” he yelled angrily. I slapped him. Oh great. Now he was crying. “Stop it daddy! I hate you!” he screamed, swatting his hands at me.

                I mentally sighed. It bothered me when he said he hated me. This wasn’t the first time and surely wouldn’t be the last, but it made me think of my mom. The way I had truly hated her.

                The door opened and a young man came in. He glanced at the sobbing, angrily 3 year old and offered me a small smile. “Little brother?” he asked, after he mentally guessed my age. I sighed. “He’s my son,” I said. I got that a lot. Then I usually got a disgusted look.

                But this man just gave me a sympathetic look. “Ah. Kids are hard to deal with at that age. My daughter’s 4 and can’t behave in public to save her life.” He shook his head. I nodded in agreement and moved to pick up Shawn.

                “Don’t fucking touch me!” he snapped. “HEY! Stop swearing Shawn! Do you want to go in timeout again? Grandpa, mommy, and I already told you to stop saying bad words!”

                He glared. “You say bad words!” Great. Now this random young man knew I swore in front of my 3 year old son. My brat of a son.

                “And mommy yells at me for it. It’s wrong and I don’t want you doing it Shawn. Now, stop being a brat or I’m taking you home and putting you in the longest time out you’ll ever have!”

                The young man began washing his hands. “I wanna go to grandpa!” Shawn argued. “Well I’m not going to take you to grandpa. I’m going to take you to your room and put you in the corner to sit there all day,” I threatened.

                And now Ali was sitting out there by herself while Shawn had a temper tantrum. God, why did I bring the kids? Why didn’t I leave them with my dad? I should’ve known one of them would mess it all up for me. Ali was going to hate me.