Victor smiled glumly as Mari played with Yuki, Mari had finally opened up his eyes. They both sat in Mari's room sharing a cup of tea while Yuki simply had milk.

Yuki did look exactly like Yuuri, that he knew. He just chose to ignore it, the resemblance was just too painful. Knowing that each morning Victor would have to wake up to his son that resembles so much like his husband it hurt him to just think about it, Yuki is the only person that brings Victor both happiness and great pain he is a blessing and a curse.

At times when Yuki is asleep and Victor is left wide awake with nothing but his thoughts, he would think that what if he himself were the one that disappeared instead of Yuuri, and then when Yuuri would look at his son he wouldn't be as pained or hurt. But fate was a cruel thing, Yuuri was taken away and that was that. No trace of him, no appearances, nothing.

It was as if...

He was wiped off existence.

Victor shuddered and cleared his mind, at least he still had a piece of Yuuri with him. He still had Yuki who he absolutely loved no matter what. "How long do you plan on staying?" Mari asked shaking Victor from his thoughts. "Maybe a week or two." He replied wearily. "Yakov might get upset again." He chuckled.

Even after all the years that went by Yakov was like a father to Victor and proved to be a great grandfather to Yuki. "I'm glad that you at least decided to come, I was so surprised at first because it had been so long since you visited," Mari gave a sad smile. "I honestly thought that you too had disappeared along with my brother.." the pain in her voice was tangible.

Victor swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked rapidly. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "I really didn't mean to cause you or your family any pain. I just needed some time." He took a shaky breath. "It's hard raising Yuki on my own, but I'm getting the hang of it." He explained. "I'm sorry I didn't-" Mari started but Victor rose his hand and gave her a small reassuring smile. "It's okay," he nodded. "I really need to let things off my chest."

He placed his hand over his aching heart. "I've been bottling up all these negative emotions within myself for so long it's making me ill." It was true, Victor had gotten thinner and his skin paler due to him shying away from the world and spending his time indoors with his son who was practically raised indoors his pale skin was something he took over, it was a natural thing now.

Mari held Yuki's small hands and helped him stand up. "He's growing a lot." She said trying to change the depressing subject. "Yes," Victor agreed. "He's growing up too fast." If only Yuuri were here, he thought with a now glum smile. Mari lifted Yuki from the ground and returned him to his father. "You better take good care of him okay? He's going to be a great skater isn't he?" She smiled.

Victor nodded unsurely, would Yuki become a skater? Victor really wanted to keep him safe from the media, too much popularity could become stressful. Victor shuddered, so many people expected great things from him, cheering him on, that was until he fell in love with Yuuri and people just sort of...stopped.

Of course, that was until the BL fans came and he was given yet another list of expectations, except that time he had Yuuri with him. But now it's just him and Yuki, if he had chosen to introduce Yuki to the world would things be different? Where would they both be?

Surely they would probably be in front of millions of cameras, people crowding them, and Yuki crying because of his anxiety he obtained from Yuuri, though the doctors said it was normal for a baby to develop 'stranger anxiety' Yuki just kept on resembling his father more and more.

Yuki gurgled and reached for his father's face. "It's nice to know that my mom was able to help him get better," Mari stated with a smile. "I am very grateful," Victor agreed. "I was really starting to get scared, I felt so useless not being able to ease my son's pain." Victor held Yuki close running his fingers through his thin silky hair. Yuki grasped onto his shirt and pressed his cheek against his father's chest. "And when I really started to give up I looked at him and suddenly remembered your mother. At that moment I knew she could help." Mari felt a tug at her heart as Victor spoke with such a pained look in his eyes.

Yuki whimpered and looked up at his father taking notice of his pain, Victor quickly recollected himself and smiled down at Yuki. "I'm okay, see?" He grinned and tickled Yuki's sides, the baby's laughter was like beautiful music to Mari's ears. Victor laughed and soon stopped tickling his son allowing him to calm down and catch his breath. "That's really amazing you know," Mari said.

"What is?" Victor asked curiously. "The way Yuki can sense how you're feeling, it's just so...wow." She laughed. "He's very attached to you." She said. "I hope that's not a bad thing," Victor said warily. "No of course not," Mari reassured. "It's actually very amazing." Victor let out a sigh and smiled. "Thank you."

Mari took notice of how easily Victor got anxious it was a bit worrisome for her seeing the man she once knew become a nervous wreck right in front of her, she remembered the first time she met him. He was bright and enthusiastic always smiling no matter what someone said, but now he was jumpy and oh so pale and thin, his smile was something she thought was a miracle and his skin didn't have it's healthy glow anymore.

He was broken.

But there are times when he's looking at his son with a soft smile on his face she can see just a flicker of his old self, the man he used to be. Something suddenly clicked, she had suddenly taken notice of how much Victor avoided any topic about Yuuri and how he refused to look at the room down the hall, Yuuri's room. He even bathed in the bathhouse refusing to bathe in the springs, the place where he first met Yuuri. The place where his whole new life began.

And he would eat anything but the pork cutlet bowl, Yuuri's favorite dish. It hurt Mari to see what Victor was doing to himself, so she gathered her courage. "Victor we need to seriously talk about Yu-" An excited poodle ran into the room with a slipper in its mouth. "Rosie!" Minami whined from down the hall and ran into the room.

The excited poodle barked and jumped on Minami's legs, Minami laughed and pulled out the slipper from the dog's mouth placing it back on his foot. "Silly girl I bought you a lot of toys to play with." He said with a huge smile, Yuki squealed at the dog and reached out to the poodle. "Oh..ah sorry." Minami apologized and scratched the back of his head. "She's a real handful, like raising a kid." He laughed. Victor smiled, he wondered how Yuki would turn out in a couple of years. Would he be a wild child? Or a calm boy?

Either way, Victor would still love him no matter what. "She won't jump on him will she?" Victor asked cautiously.  "She's perfectly tame when it comes to children," Minami promised, and sure enough, he was right, Victor sat Yuki on the ground in front of Rosie. The poodle sniffed Yuki getting familiar with his scent, said baby laughed and patted the dog's head and squealed when he touched the dog's wet nose. Rosie calmed her excitement and lied on her belly resting in front of Yuki who now attempted to crawl.

Victor carefully placed his son on his own belly and both Minami and Mari gave Yuki words of encouragement, little by little Yuki propped himself up with his hand and legs and slowly, and shakily, crawled closer to Rosie who's tail wagged happily. Once he reached his destination he rested against Rosie's belly and giggled with his face all red Victor and the others cheered for Yuki's accomplishment, Victor scooped Yuki into his arms and gave him various kisses on his face. "I am so proud of you my little champion." He praised his son before placing him back against Rosie.

"Minami how old is Rosie?" Victor asked curiously as Yuki rested his cheek against Rosie's belly and played with her fur. "Three years old," Minami replied. "Has she ever...had puppies?" Victor asked a pained look came across the young man's face. "She had a litter of puppies a few months back, but they all got sick and ended up dying." Victor felt bad for Minami and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder giving him a look of sympathy.

Minami smiled glumly. "That's why she's so calm when she's around children, she treats them like her own." Both men looked back at the poodle and baby, Yuki was dozing off still in the same position Rosie licked his cheek and curled around him. "Sorry Victor but I don't think you're going to get him back any time soon" Minami laughed. "It's alright, I'm sure she's happy right now, but let me put him in his crib and since it's huge she can climb in with him. Just as long as she doesn't move around a lot." Victor said.

Minami happily beamed. "She's a good girl I'm sure she'll stay still if Yuki is beside her." He stated, Victor carefully scooped Yuki back into his arms, Rosie whined and quickly stood up and looked up at Victor with her huge puppy dog eyes. "Just follow me." Victor smiled and lead the poodle to his room he gently lied Yuki down in his crib and Minami carried Rosie in. There was a lot of space which made Victor sigh in relief, the poodle scooted closer to the sleeping baby and once again curled around him.

Victor smiled at the sight his heart swelled with happiness he ran his hand through Yuki's soft hair. "Sleep tight." He whispered and turned his attention to Rosie. "You'll protect him right?" The poodle wagged its tail. "I'll take that as a yes." He said and backed away from the crib. "It's nice to know I have a babysitter for him now." He joked. "An adorable one too," Minami stated. "But of course." Both men returned to Mari's room that was just next door Victor kept the door open just in case Yuki woke up.

Mari was now debating on whether or not to bring up Yuuri now that Yuki was asleep, she did not want Victor to break down right in front of his son especially now that she discovered that Yuki could feel what his father feels, once he sat back down and took his cup of tea she cleared her throat. "Victor..." she started, Minami sat on her bed pouring himself a cup of tea. "Yes?" Victor asked. How could she start?

She took a breath. "I think we should talk about...about Yuuri." She stated, he suddenly froze an the atmosphere was tense. "W-why?" He stammered. "There's not much to talk about..." he said. "I just..." Mari bit her lip. "You come here like you were expecting to see him here, but then when you came to realization you avoided everything that would remind you of him. Why?" She asked. "Don't you love him?" Victor's throat tightened. "Of course I do." He choked out. "Then why are you avoiding any topics about him?" She asked.

Minami tried to calm her since she was starting to get upset, but Mari pressed on. "Why are you here Victor? Why aren't you doing something about his disappearance? Why are you no longer skating? Why...why do you look like a man who's given up?" With that, Victor broke. "It's because I'm tired!" He yelled and slumped his shoulders dropping his head, his cup of tea trembled in his hands. "I can't keep this up anymore." He muttered.

"I'm trying so hard to stay strong for my son, he needs someone strong to care and love him, and I can't do all of this alone. Every time I think of Yuuri I'm just reminded of how lonely I am and how much Yuki will suffer in the future, and I just..." he took a breath. "I blame myself for his disappearance, every day I wished that it were me instead of him. That I should've been the one to disappear and not Yuuri, the one who gave birth to my, our, child." His body shook.

Minami looked at Mari who now held a guilty look on her face, she had finally broken him, and there was no more going back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiroko hummed a quiet tune as she washed dishes she wiped her hands dry and wondered what her guests would like for dinner, she hummed in thought thinking hard and long.

A phone rang shaking her from her thoughts, she hurried off and grabbed the phone bringing to her ear. "Hello?" She answered.

"Hello, is this the Katsuki family?" A voice asked

"Why yes it is, is something wrong?" Hiroko asked worriedly.

"Ma'am, we have some information about your missing son Yuuri Katsuki...."