"No!" I screamed so hard at the top of my lungs that I lost my voice.

I watched the exploding shrapnel and debris float through the water as I couldn't scream, tears started to roll down my cheeks. I didn't know what else to do besides sit and wait. I wasn't ready to believe that this was my father's end, and that he wouldn't die today. I refused. I stood for what seemed to be forever while I waited as they carefully moved the debris for a sign of life.

The paramedics sitting on land were trying to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but I already had a pit feeling in my stomach. I plopped on the ground, cupped my face, and time stood still once again. The tinnitus was unbearable at this point, "Was my father just a lost cause?"  I thought to myself. My eyes welled up with tears, and I started to wail.

"help me" I heard a man yell as I heard a loud ringing in my ears. "I need to tell my son" This was my father and I knew it before they pulled this man aboard the lifeboat. I looked up and squinted. Due to the tears, it was hard not to see lines from astigmatism in my vision. I removed my hands from my eyes slouched on my knees and saw my father. Immediately I was overwhelmed with relief. He was on a backboard and was ashen, his skin covered in gray scales and there were small pieces of hot cinder all over his body.

The worst was his neck. It looked like there were some splinters in the side of his neck, which I was told couldn't be moved now because he needed immediate surgery. Of course there were teams of medics triaging everybody, and it looked like there were a lot of black tags. My father was lucky, very lucky. I was holding his hand the whole ride back from the middle of the lake, I wasn't a very religious person, but at this point I prayed. 

It felt like forever until the Emergency Medical Personnel made it to land. By this time, they had transferred my dad to a stretcher from the backboard. He kept saying to me, as if he were confessing on his deathbed,

"Wayne is cheating on your mother! He killed my brother for threatening to tell your mother. Wayne isn't a good guy, and he cannot find you here. He cannot know you know otherwise; he will kill you," he said to me as he coughed up little spouts of blood, he gripped my arms as he combatively fought for his freedom. 

Once the paramedics got him restrained they gave him some morphine for the pain and put him on a non-rebreather mask because of his pulse ox dropping into the 80s. Now all we had to do was wait for an ambulance, which were only twenty minutes out. Suddenly I felt my father's hand go limp.

"He's not breathing, help him" I yanked the paramedics arm, startling him. Another paramedic came through and ushered me aside as he took out the AED to shock my father back to life.

"No pulse, he's gone into asystole" he hooked up the paddles to my father

"no heart rhythm, charge paddles to" after that I don't remember what was happening. I do remember saying out a prayer. "Lord you cannot take my father." I don't exactly remember when they got his heart beating again but I remember the next part.

The paramedics lifted the stretcher to latch it on the ambulance to get ready for transportation. Next was to lift him up; those stretchers were heavy, at least 100lbs, without my father on them. I hopped into the ambulance by making my way up the steep stairs, I sat down, and the first thing I did was buckle up. I knew I wasn't very close with my father since he and my mom separated, but I felt an inkling to grab his hand and hold it.

He looked back at me and smiled; he was so helpless and weak at that moment. I felt the urge to tell him that I loved him. My father and I had never shared these intimate words before, but this was a desperate time. The paramedic next to me gave me a sympathetic grin and looked back at my dad who was still ashen color, but still alive. 

Along the ride to the hospital my dad went in and out of consciousness, "At least he won't remember it" I thought to myself. Finally, we arrived at a hospital, but it seemed more packed than usual. It must have been a trauma unit where they sent the victims of the fire. In front of me there were at least 15 different ambulances all of which were victims of smoke inhalation, my father wasn't any different.

The hospital crew unloaded ambulances quickly and then quickly rolled the stretchers in through the gates. Soon it was my father's turn. I saw people run up and ask about their loved ones only to be turned away and ignored, which was stupid. How would they feel if they had to wait and wait only to be told of nothing. I paced around back and forth and I saw as people left the area, most of the people were crying it seemed that there weren't a lot of survivors all because of a stupid teenager who decided to light fireworks on his kayak. 

I saw a lady emerge from the doors that I was previously forbidden to go through, "whoever is here for Ray Asherton." The nurse was wearing black scrubs and through the door holding a clipboard.

I walked up to the door, waiting for the worst news, that he didn't make it. Based on the amount of casualties in this situation, I prepared myself for the worse. The nurse escorted through the double doors that only opened by a button or badge.

"He's been asking for you" she pointed into the room that my father was in and shut the door for privacy.

My father laid there giving me a blank stare, and ushered me in with gestures of his arms. He was being monitored with his critical condition. He was under supervision for multi organ failure especially after all the trauma he had endured.

He grabbed me in for a tight embrace and I didn't care whether it was manly or not. This could be my last time to hug him.

"Dad, you are so heroic and I admire everything you did. Because of you, that man underneath the pile or rubble will live." Feeling the passion and pride caused intense emotions within me and I felt the need to hug my father once again.

"I'm proud of you son, you helped me to save that life." His eyes slightly widened as he smiled at me. One single tear rolled down my cheek as I pulled away from the embrace.

I didn't want to leave him, but being there wasn't good for me at all. I tried to understand everything, as if I could.