Two months later...

Keywords:

Krebs: yam with slices of beef
Cits: sauce made from tomatoes, curry, soy sauce and honey.

O bi: I'm fine.

Ba: Older brother.

•Surayya

"He still isn't returning my calls. What do I do Ba Bala?"

"Give him time."

"It's been.. what, a month now. I sent him a message before all this about needing money and he didn't reply too. He's angry."

"What you did was unruly. It could destroy the image of our kingdom." He pauses "I'll send you something."

My heart sunk.

"I didn't tell you that." I clear my throat upon realizing he offered to help me with some money "Fro Ji Ba Bala."

"But he told me." He confessed "And I'm also disappointed in you but..."

"It was a mistake." I interrupted.

"You still did it." He huffed "Listen, you can turn things around. You need to earn his trust back somehow. Show him you've changed."

"Fro ji ba."

"My pleasure."

"We'll be going on a short semester break after our exams. I'll be home then so I'll try speaking to him again."

"Very good Su."

"He doesn't even answer my calls and that breaks my heart everyday."

"He'll come around. Just focus on your exams."

"What if that's all I keep thinking about?"

"Find a way to just focus on your papers. I'll still talk to him again."

"I can't."

"You need to."

"It's not possible Ba Bala."

"Why?"

"Because..." I hang up then let my head fall back with a bang on my pillows as my eyes watered I'm in love with him.

He calls me but I'm too scared to pick up because I might just restate my admission again. After Sanusi, he was my second family and if there was anyone I was willing to talk to asides Sanusi about a problem, it would be him.

Instead, I put my textbooks in my bag and set out to join Lara, Dana and Ruby outside so we could head to school for our first paper for the day. It was the week we had to take our midterms and a lot of us weren't prepared.

Since the smoking incident, I've been locked up in my room studying and crying but these people showed me there was more to life than just mistakes and broken relationships but they didn't understand—they wouldn't understand—Sanusi is my family and part of all that matters to me so I didn't tell them. I just ignored their texts until I was ready to be social again.

I still saw their points and tried to take my studies seriously so I wouldn't fail and return to my city, a failure.

"Hey guys."

"What's good?" Hafeez greeted. I looked at his purple finger and he hid it behind him.

He'd been gone for a while since my smoking incident. When we asked he kept saying he had practice for the theatre arts club.

"O bi." I answer first and both Lara and Ruby say the same thing.

"It's hot, why are you wearing a turtleneck?" I laugh.

"I'm cold." He replies nervously.

"How are you feeling today?" Dana asked.

"I'm better than most days." him and Nazeeha say.

"That's good. Let's go." Ruby replied as she linked our arms together.

The rest joined their arms with ours and that moment reminded me of the theme song of the Grownish series. Watch out world..I'm—we're still growing—not grown yet.

Ten minutes later we found ourselves in the class panicking about the first paper. It was now or never.

"I'm so scared. It's midterms and next week is also finals!" Lara squealed.

Ruby let out a small cry and put her head on the table while Dana just stared at us without saying anything. She has always been a step ahead of everyone. I studied with her before now so I know and I'm guessing she's also praying before the exam.

"Me too sis." I concurred "But you need to be silent so I can concentrate and speak to nom re Papa K before the invigilators arrive."

Whenever we needed to do anything, we would say an oath to our founding father of Nahur so we could have their blessings.

The invigilator enters the class forthwith looking stern with his specs perched at the bridge of his wide, potato-looking nose, loose office pants and a dress shirt tucked in his trousers with folded sleeves and his laptop in his right arm.

Everyone cussed as soon as they noticed him. He was feared by all students and hated because of his ruthlessness and flagrant judgements.

"Leave your bags outside if you came with them, phones should be inside them" he points at random faces in their sits rushing to do what he has requested "Also, no pencils or papers. I just want to see your laptops on the table in ten minutes. We'll have to start without anyone who doesn't concede."

We all put the incriminating items on us in our bags then dropped them in a corner by the door so it would be easy to find them after. I tap my pockets again just to be sure i was clean before we all went to our respective seats.

He drops a stopwatch on his table aggressively and says "Your time starts now."

We all passed around our 'Goodluck' and 'Stay calm' before the watch began to ring like a bomb counting down and those at the door started proceeding to their seats hurriedly.

When it stopped he sat on his chair and connected his laptop to the smartboard "Those still standing there should exit my class. I don't want to hear anything."

He'd already cut them off before they could plead with him. For a second they thought if they stood silently in form of street protest with folded arms and a straight face. They were blasé all through till he told them if they didn't leave he would not let them even write the resit if they didn't leave. And so, they did.

"It's with you I write nom re Nuhu." I muttered before opening my laptop at the same time with everyone else seated with us, just as he'd demanded.

"You may start now." He commands "Watch the screen, you'll know when your time is up. I won't even need to speak. The page will automatically close the questions. I hope you've all studied because things are about to get real after the party I hear you all went to yesterday."

"Not me." I angrily say in my head. I spent the night studying and packing my belongings into my boxes so it'd be easier to take them out today.

He sits in his chair and begins to type on his laptop for the longest hour as we sat in there answering questions that would probably mar the rest of our grades if we dared to flunk it because it had the one of highest credit points.

The hall was silent, as in dead like the sea. If a fly passed us we would hear the sound of it's tiny wings fluttering. It was usually at the beginning of all exams I would start sweating, my hands would relentlessly keep shaking and my heart wouldn't stop beating loudly. Eventually I'd realize my panic was for nothing.

From looking at the first questions I could tell they were not going to be a problem. I'd studied so much I was almost finished an hour before the time he set for us.

I submit as soon as I'm finished and silently thank Nom re Papa K and Nom re Nuhu before I carry my bag from the floor. I look at my friends and only Ruby is done. She's also coming down the stairs of the seminar room to meet the man at his table.

She drops it and we head to the cafeteria to wait for the others while we debated on our answers till the each appeared one after the other.

"What did you choose for question 30?" Hafeez asks.

"I chose A." I answer.

"I don't think that's correct." Ruby says looking at her laptop.

"It's B guys." Lara shows us the definition on her arm.

We all look at her in shock and she laughs "How did you know?"

"I remembered him saying it in our last class."

"Oh, shucks." I hiss "I can't believe I forgot."

"Let's order." Hafeez suggests.

"I'm starving." Ruby exclaims.

"I'm craving krebs and cits." I state.

"Same! For the longest time."

"I don't enjoy anyones Krebs and Cits. Only the one my grandmother makes in Disar."

"My mums makes amazing Krebs and Cits too. They're to die for." Nazeeha says "You'll have to come with me to have some when I visit her next time."

"Sure." I smile "That would be a nice way to spend our summer break."

"Exactly." Dana puts her arms around my shoulder and Nazeeha's.

We all make our orders and eat there then remain to talk about our summer plans. They were really my friends. I couldn't believe it. When I first came here I was so unimpressed by everyone and how they were so eager to be friends with me but they didn't care that I was a princess. They just wanted to be my friends just like I did them.

Our first year was about to end, I couldn't wait for what the following years had for us.

"Let's go quickly. I have to pack. I'm moving to my new apartment today." I push my sit back with my feet and my hands on the table.

"We'll come and help." Nazeeha stands up first and the rest follow.

"My stuff aren't much. I can go alone." I carry my tray and drop it in the bin and head out before any of them follow me outside.

The walk to the hostel wasn't far. In fact it was just five minutes so I didn't need my car but my new place was about twenty minutes so I had to drive. Sanusi had sent me money because my allowance was about to finish so I bought a car a few weeks after but I didn't think I'd get caught smoking and get cut off so I had to live off Bala's cash to pay my rent elsewhere since eating free food at the cafeteria helped a lot.

At the room, Kareema is higher than she's ever been and is fighting with the wall when I enter to pick up my already packed bags. She looks at me with a smile begins to come close but I push her and continue taking my things down to the car.

I go back and pick the last few things on my table that were my lamps and photos that couldn't enter my bags. She sleeping on the bathroom floor when I turn and hear the door creaking. I want to leave her there but I'm not that wicked so I go in and drag her by her arms to the bed.

I drop her upper half on the bed before lifting her legs to keep her properly then I exit the room and close the door. Downstairs, I give the dorm master my key and leave. As I drove out the gates of the entrance of the dorm, I felt all the anger leave me. What she did would never have to control me.

I press the pedal with my foot and the car charges forward like lightening on the empty road. It's dark, the windows are down and the wind fills my lungs with excitement I haven't felt in a long time but it deflates the moment I hit a body and it flies into a bush.

I don't go out for fear I'd get robbed or kidnapped. I also couldn't face the man I'd just killed. My head spun and the air I breathed in suddenly became toxic. It choked me and I began to yell like a crazy person instead of cough. It was complicated.

I had lost my mind.

When the tears came I didn't realize it, I purged out my lunch into my laps but the smell wasn't what bothered me but the fact that I was a huge coward.

Even if no one knew, I would. Forever.

I turned on the car again and managed to drive to my new apartment but I couldn't go out. I still shook, my head hurt badly and my rapid breathing hadn't subsided.

I held the steering wheel to steady myself but it wasn't doing anything. My hands were shaking as if I was having a fever. I couldn't see anything except the moment the man or woman or child, I don't even know but when I saw a figure collide with my car it broke my heart to pieces.

A man knocks at my window and I wipe my tears quickly before bringing down the glass.

"Are you ok? You've been in since I came back."

"Oh it's nothing. I'm trying to call someone."

"Did you also just move in? Or you came to see someone."

"I just moved in."

I wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel. He was taking too long to leave and I was about to cry again.

"I'm Greg. If you want to come and cry at my house, it's number 4."

"Thank you."

I wasn't even bothered that he'd caught on. I just needed him to leave even if he was just being nice. I'll remember to visit when I wasn't so devastated.

"Bye." He goes in and my windows spike up again.

I turn on the AC and tilt the chair back. I take off my sweater and use it to clean my jeans then fold it and drop it on the passengers seat then open my purse to get my phone.

As usual, by this time, Sanusi was unavailable. I bet Najma was stripping out of her ugly dress for him but who cares right? Let old Surayya rot because she made one, stupid mistake.

I left him a voicemail saying "Sanusi I'm in big trouble. Please call me." then switched off my phone the moment I saw a conference call coming in from Lara and the gang.

I looked to the back seat to check if the burwa I had taken out of the bin was in there. It would be my best friend for the next few hours.
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