"Lilah, can you please just tell us what's going on?" Grace sighed as if she was bored.

I snapped my head up just in time to see Leah shooting a glare at her, and my cheeks heated up with the sudden realisation that everybody had just watched me break down. I had never cried in front of anybody before. I didn't want to cry in front of anybody again.

I sighed, wiping the last of my tears away with my black sweater and pulling away from the warmth of Ashton's chest slowly. He instantly clutched my hand, the forest in his eyes consumed by thunder and rain. He was worried, and it was no wonder. I had thrown myself onto him without thinking, not realising that he had no idea what was going on. I had barely even noticed that the others were there until I felt Leah stroking my back cautiously and Anna aimlessly telling me that it would 'be okay.' I disagreed.

"When I was in the basement," I began hesitantly, "Josh told me something."

"Whatever he said to you, he was lying. He was probably just trying to hurt you," Ashton intervened, squeezing my hand in reassurance.

I pulled it away, wondering if he knew. He could have done. He could have been hiding it from me all this time. "He wasn't lying about this."

"About what?" Luke questioned impatiently.

I curled my fingers into my palms, frustration boiling in my veins. "If you let me talk, I'll tell you!"

The group looked shocked, but I couldn't feel guilty. "Sorry," Luke mumbled with raised eyebrows.

"Josh is my brother." I didn't have the energy to drag my confession out any longer, and they didn't seem to have the patience. Before they could interrupt me again I continued. "I didn't think it was true at first, but I asked my mother. She told me that she gave him up when she had him because he inherited her dark magic."

The group was stunned, but the sadness and anger had been drained out of me now, replaced with a numbness that seemed to bury itself in my heart and seep through every fibre of my body. I was glad for it.

"I need some air," I decided, pulling myself off the couch before Ashton could try and pull me closer again.

Outside, it seemed like a normal day, and I found it strange how the world was still turning when our lives had been shaken around like a couple of broken biscuits in a tin. My life was slowly crumbling, and I didn't know how much more I could take.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the way the leaves would rustle against the slight breeze, finding solace for the first time in a while. It was nice, but short-lived. Ashton came out no more than two seconds later, the door gently clicking as he shut it behind him.

"Did you know?" I asked, no longer able to pretend like everything was fine. My skin crawled from just wondering if he had kept it a secret from me.

"What?" He stepped in front of me so that I was no longer able to stare at the road in an attempt to avoid his gaze. "Are you serious?"

"You worked with them for weeks, Ashton. Surely they must have said something."

Ashton rolled his eyes, wearing a harsh expression. "You honestly think I'd hide something like that from you?" His words were laced with a bitterness that would have stung my eyes with more tears if I didn't feel so empty.

"I don't know. I don't know what you would do. I don't know anything anymore," I answered honestly. My voice didn't sound like my own anymore; it was void of any emotion. I wasn't even the moody girl I had once been. I wasn't really anything.

"You know me." He grabbed my hands gently, his face softening at what I had said. Tiny wisps of hair peeked out from under his beanie, and I tried to focus on them rather than his eyes. I didn't want to be drawn into them anymore. "I swear, I never knew. They never said anything. Maybe he only found out after I left, or he didn't want me to know. You said yourself that they only used me so nobody would suspect Calum."

"Yeah, I guess." I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and walked away from Ashton's unmoving gaze, watching again as cars drove past us. The people in them, hidden behind reflections of Anna's house in the glass windows, had no idea that a world of magic really existed. I didn't know whether I envied or pitied them.

"I had an idea, actually," Ashton changed the subject, following my gaze with narrowed eyes, "about how to get your magic back."

"I'm not sure I want it back." It was true. The only thing that I missed about my powers was the gentle patter of rain against my window in the night and the smell of the damp earth the morning after.

"I don't think that powers are just something you can decide on. You were born with them. It can't be good that you don't have them anymore."

"All they've brought me is witchy drama."

"They brought us together, didn't they?" His voice was timid; as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Matt and Josh brought us together," I responded harshly. I couldn't prevent the words that were spilling from my cold lips anymore.

Ashton shook his head and pushed his glasses up his nose, his jaw tensed. "We would have ended up together anyway. That's how it's supposed to be."

I snorted. "We live in an infinite universe. I hardly think the world is that desperate for two stupid teenagers to be together."

"And that's why I like you." He sounded as if he had achieved something, or as if he had proven me right in some way.

"What?"

"Your mind is always somewhere else. You're realistic and you think about stuff like the universe." I glanced at him as if he was losing the plot. "Everybody else is so self-centered, and you just come out with things like that. I love the way your mind works."

I couldn't respond. It was the first time that anybody had ever complimented me in that way. Nobody ever really took notice of the way in which my mind worked before, mostly because I wouldn't let them. I still found myself wondering why Ashton was so interested in me.

"Maybe I'm just realistic," I finally managed to say.

"Maybe you're just you. Maybe that's why I like you so much." His forehead was almost touching mine now, and a tendril of sandy blonde hair fell over his eyes as he lowered his gaze to meet mine. "Can I tell you my idea now? You're going to love it."

"You can tell me, but I'm probably not actually going to do whatever it is you want me to."

He smirked, his head leaning on mine, our noses brushing together. I felt intoxicated from his scent and the way that his skin felt on mine.

"You can draw your powers from the forest."

*

The forest was just how I remembered it, only less dark since the rain had stopped. Just stepping onto the pine needles and twigs beneath my feet made me feel a little more whole.

"Your eyes always look lighter when you're here," Ashton suddenly pointed out, watching me as he leaned against a large tree trunk with his arms crossed over his chest.

I smiled slightly despite my mood and ran my fingers along the tree next to him. "What exactly do you expect me to do?"

"Honestly, I didn't expect us to get this far," he chuckled. I tried not to look at his curved lips. "Just try and imagine it. Close your eyes like you did that night with the leaves."

I sighed, remembering the first time that Ashton and I had shared our magic together. When I remembered it now, it didn't feel like it was me who had experienced it, just somebody who looked an awful lot like me. "It seems so long ago now. I don't even remember how I did it."

"Just concentrate. I know you can do it."

I nodded and closed my eyes slowly, the only sound being Ashton's breathing. I imagined thousands of little stars hidden inside the trees and foliage, and when I opened my palms to them, they came to me like a magnet to metal.

"It's working," I heard Ashton breathe in amazement.

A cold drop of water landed on my head, and when I looked up, I saw that it was beginning to rain.

My veins were surging with a power that I had forgotten I had. A harsh wind cut through me and I shivered though I could not feel the cold. My whole body was tingling, goosebumps rising from both the spell I had somehow managed to do and the rainfall that was now soaking through my skin.

The feeling of power was amazing, but it could not compare to Ashton's sparkling eyes as I grinned and wrapped my arms around him.

We stayed outside in the rain until the sun began to set. 

AN: I feel like every chapter I write of this gets worse like idk what's going on i'm becoming a terrible writer and it's making me sad so I'm sorry about the shittiness I promise I'm trying my best it's just not working

thanks so much for still reading this anyway, i wont be able to update this weekend as i'm having a little birthday weekend, but if i get time i'll try and write a bit :)

love you bye