"I'm sorry," was the first thing that left Ashton Irwin's mouth when I found him stood at my door an hour after the meeting at Ivory Lake. An orange glow from the setting sun surrounded him as if he was on fire and it was very hard not to stare. He did not look like a teenage boy; he looked like a mythical creature bringing light to the world. "Upsetting you wasn't my intention," he continued, his shoulders hunched as he shuffled slightly.

"Then what was your intention?" I questioned, hugging my bare arms around myself as a slight breeze wafted through us both. His wavy hair floated against it and my fingers ached to run my fingers through it.

"I just wanted to see if you actually cared. I felt stupid for getting so angry with Matt yesterday and I wanted to see if you would react in the same way." He wet his lips with his tongue and I averted my gaze to the sunset behind him. The sky was dark now, casting shadows of us both on the floor below us.

"I didn't flirt with Matt," I pointed out, trying to sound as cold as possible. "You flirted with Grace. You are obviously interested in her, and I don't blame you."

He shook his head. "The only person I'm interested in is you." He took a step forward and I narrowed my eyes.

"Why?" I challenged. I didn't understand why anybody in their right mind would choose me over beautiful, seductive Grace.

"Why?" He repeated incredulously, as if I had just asked him why the sky is blue and not why he had an interest in me. I nodded, my eyebrows raised. "Because...Because I like you. I've never met anybody like you before. I mean, you're stubborn and hostile, but you see the world in a completely different way to anybody else. And when you share that with me, it's..." he struggled to articulate himself and I gulped.

"It's what?"

"It's..." he sighed. "It's special, and real. It makes me feel a little less lonely, I guess."

The guarded part of me wanted to shut the door on him for seeing me in a way that nobody else had seen me. Everybody in Heatherly knew me as the quiet, moody teenager who didn't have any friends and had some weird obsession with the forest. Ashton saw me in a completely different light. It was almost like he saw past my guard. He understood me. I could not shut the door on his face.

I bit my lip hesitantly, not knowing what to say. I had to be sure that this wasn't a mistake. "I'm sure Grace could make you feel the same," I whispered.

"I don't want Grace." His eyes consumed me. I was swimming in their sea of green and brown, maybe even drowning. I did not fight to stay above the surface . If this was what drowning felt like, I welcomed it. My lungs were burning but I was alive. All this time I had simply been existing, but with his eyes on mine, I was finally alive. It terrified me, but I never wanted to lose this feeling. "I want you. I wanted you from the moment I saw you."

"I can't be what you want me to be," I said, my voice hoarse. I would never be somebody's girlfriend, I had known that since I was a child. Most girls grew up dreaming of weddings and being loved, whereas I had grown up dreaming of the world and all that it had to offer. I didn't want to be somebody's girlfriend; I wanted to be a traveller. I wanted to fall in love with beautiful places, not beautiful people. It had never occurred to me before that I could do both.

"I don't want you to be anything. I like you just the way you are," he spoke softly. His fingers found mine and laced themselves between them like two puzzle pieces slotting together. His skin burned mine, and I was reminded of the first time we had connected this way on the night of the storm. Even then I had known that Ashton had an effect on me, but I chose to ignore it. Just like you cannot ignore a blazing fire consuming everything in its path, I could not ignore the feeling inside of me every time Ashton touched me.

Ashton gazed at my lips but didn't make an attempt to kiss them, and I was grateful. It was difficult to stop myself from pushing him away already, if he were to kiss me I would most likely get angry and say things that I didn't mean.

I took a deep breath. "You are going to regret this." I felt obliged to warn him, though I'm sure he could already predict how difficult it would be to maintain any sort of relationship with somebody as unpredictable and intolerable as me.

He frowned, his damp lips pouting. "Why's that?"

"In case you have not yet realised, I have a habit of pushing people away."

"I don't care," he smirked. "I'm like a bad smell; you'll find it hard to get rid of me. Now are you going to invite me in or not?"

I rolled my eyes playfully. "You're so forceful." I giggled quietly but pulled him in with me, shutting the door behind us. I was glad that my mother was working. "Come with me," I ordered, my hand still entwined with his as I guided him up the stairs to the attic. I always left a set of ladders below the window for the few nights of the year when we had clear skies. Tonight was one of those nights, and I could think of nothing better than stargazing with Ashton. I climbed up the ladders and I could hear Ashton following after me. I pulled him out onto the roof and sat down on the least slanted part so as not to fall off. I had done this countless times, but my heart still raced at the possibility of dropping off the roof.

"You really are a crazy chick," he chuckled as we found a steady place to sit. The sun had set behind the green cluster of trees in front of us, and the moon was already glowing in the mauve coloured sky. I crossed my legs, feeling like a child but not caring. I was showing Ashton parts of me that nobody else knew existed, but it was difficult to regret it after years of isolation and loneliness.

"Isn't it beautiful?" I sighed, my cheeks heating up as I felt his eyes on me.

"It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," he agreed, returning his hand back in mine, where it belonged. "So, where's your parents?"

"My mum works at the hospital so she's not home that much. She does a lot of extra shifts," I explained. I leaned my head into the crook of his next, shivering slightly at the loss of the sun. He sensed it and put his arms around me. I instantly felt warmer. "And I don't know my dad. He left when I was a baby."

"I'm sorry." I could tell that he meant it. "It must get lonely in a big house like this."

I nodded, pulling my knees to my chest. "That's why I'm usually in the forest."

We stayed silent for a few moments. I embraced every second of it, of the way his muscular arms radiated heat onto me and the way his clothes smelled like pine and cinnamon mixed with fabric softener, reminding me of my favourite place: the forest. I never wanted the moment to end.

"What about you?" I finally gathered the courage to ask. "What are your parents like?"

He inhaled at the question and I was worried that I had struck a nerve. I felt myself becoming intrigued with how he would choose to answer it.

"My mum and dad got divorced before we came here. I live with my mum and my brother and sister now."

I didn't know whether questioning him further would be a good idea, but I didn't need to as he continued soon after.

"My dad cheated on my mum, and now she's kind of just lifeless. I keep catching her just staring into space, and I never know what to do or say, you know?"

I didn't know, but I nodded anyway and squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"I look after my brother and sister most of the time. It's weird. I used to have this great idea of love. I didn't realise it could do something like that to you. My mum isn't even a person anymore; she's just kind of a shell."

"Yeah," I agreed, "love seems kind of shitty."

I was drawn suddenly to the sky. It was twinkling with dozens of stars scattered above us like glitter and dust. There is a certain feeling you get when you are staring up into infinity, and it is one that cannot really be described, but I always thought it was like watching your favourite TV series all day. You get lost in a fictional character's life, and suddenly their life is more important than your own. Staring into the vast expanse of sparkling sky, you realise that your life is not important, because above you is an endless amount of matter. We are just reckless people floating around on a rock, doing anything that will make us happy.

It was more difficult to feel unimportant when Ashton's firm embrace devoured me. Tonight, the stars were not the most important things, because my heart was pounding and my chest was heavy and I was alive.

His voice was barely above a whisper as it broke through my thoughts.

"I never want this night to end."

AN: WOOPSY DAISY I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE FLUFF LOL I HATE MYSELF I'M SORRY

SORRY IT'S SHORT I JUST LIKED THE WAY IT ENDED SO 

THANKS FOR READING IF YOU ARE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK EVEN IF YOU THINK I'M POO I WAnT TO KNOW BUT DON'T BE MEAN I'LL CRY 

THANKS BYE