[Sa'n ka na? Anong oras ba punta natin do'n?]

Natatarantang tanong ni Bea pagkasagot ko ng tawag. While I was looking for gifts at the mall with Prince, ay bigla siyang napatawag. Nabitawan ko naman ang hawak kong bag na akma ko sanang titingnan.

"Four PM. Nasa GC natin 'yon. 'Di mo ba nabasa?" Inipit ko ang phone ko sa braso at tainga ko para magpatuloy sa pag-check nitong bag. I don't know what she likes, but since I often see some teachers using shoulder bags, so this is what I immediately thought of as a gift.

[Gago ka.] Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko dahil minura niya pa ako. Na-i-imagine ko pa ang hitsura niya na napatakip ng bibig sa gulat. [Akala ko three!]

"Ha? Three PM sana pero sabi niya baka nagluluto pa lang sila niyan kaya ginawa niyang four," paliwanag ko pa sa kaniya. Lumapit ako kay Prince na nasa gilid ko. Pinakita ko sa kaniya ang bag na napili ko para malaman kung maganda ba 'to o pumili pa ako ng iba.

"Do you want to look at the other station first? Perhaps there's a better option there," suhestiyon na sabi niya at tiningnan ko muna ang hawak ko bago ako napatango at ibinalik iyon.

[Ba't ang late niya magsabi? Nasa biyahe na 'ko! Ngayon ko lang nabasa!]

Napanguso naman ako at inisip ang sitwasyon niya. "Uhm... what are you gonna do? I mean, what should I do then?" Pero wala na rin naman akong magagawa, wala na siyang magagawa. Wala nang solusyon iyon.

[Hindi na 'ko pwedeng bumalik. Malapit na 'ko sa kanila.] Narinig ko ang ang malakas niyang pagbuntong-hininga. ['Di pa 'ko nakapaglagay ng mascara! Ang pangit ko sa birthday niya!]

"Maybe you can just help them cook when you get there," sabi ko.

[Ay, wow! 'Yan na yata 'yong pinaka maayos na narinig ko sa 'yo.] Para siyang na-offend sa sinabi ko dahil sa pagtaas ng boses niya. [Pang-tanga 'yang suggestion mo! Mas lalo akong mahuhulas niyan!] Wala na talaga siyang choice kundi ang tumuloy na lang doon.

Nilingon ko si Prince noong maramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa likod ko. Nakangiti siya noong inangat niya ang hawak niyang bag para ipakita sa akin. Maganda naman ang napili niya kaya sinenyasan ko siya na iyon na lang ang kuhanin namin. Pumunta na kami ng counter para ipabalot iyon. May nabili na rin naman siya, ako na lang talaga ang hinihintay niya.

"You can just talk to her siblings. Aliwin mo. May pinuntahan pa raw siya, eh," sabi ko at naglalakad na kami rito sa parking space nitong mall. Uuwi lang kami saglit para makapag-ayos na rin.

[Nabasa ko rin. Gano'n na lang siguro.] Nagmamadali na ang boses niya. [Sige, hintayin na lang kita ro'n.]

"Okay. See you... ingat," sabi ko at ibinaba na ang tawag.

Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagbabago. Sa tuwing may mga lakad kaming pupuntahan, parang aligaga siya, parati siyang naghahabol ng oras. Sa aming tatlo ay siya ang pinaka matagal kumilos, aware naman siya sa call time pero parang may iba pa siyang ginagawa bago pumunta kaya siya ang palaging nahuhuli. Pero iba ang nangyari ngayon, siya na ito ang nauna, masyado nga lang napaaga.

Napasok na ni Prince ang kotse sa eskenita papunta sa bahay nina Jaz... they just moved here to Laguna last month. At pinark na lang niya ang kotse rito sa pang-apat na bahay dahil may mga sasakyan at motor nang nakaparada sa harap ng bahay nila. Marami-rami rin siyang bisita noong pumasok kami sa loob, some of them were her batchmates and friends from college.

Inaasahan ko rin naman na may mga co-teachers rin na pupunta dahil birthday niya at kahapon lang ay pinangaralan siya ng award sa isang national volunteer service agency na pinasukan niya. Nakatanggap siya ng Outstanding Volunteer Award kaya dapat lang talaga na gawing double-celebration itong araw na 'to.

"Oh, my god. Hello, Yshawn..." Jaz's face brightened when she saw me. She quickly bid an excuse to the visitors she spoke with and approached me excitedly. As she stared at me, she had her mouth covered. "Nakakainis! Ang pogi mo lalo..."

Natawa na lang ako sa sinabi niya at naiilang pang yumuko. Saka ko lang din naalala na may kasama ako noong makita ko siyang nakatingin lang sa likuran ko. Tumagilid naman ako agad para bigyan ng daan si Prince at makipagkamayan sa kaniya.

"Si Prince," I just simply said and couldn't find the next thing to say. I don't know why I find it hard to mention that. "Boyfriend ko."

Nakita ko namang surpresang napatingin sa akin si Jaz noong banggitin ko iyon, at may halo ring pagtataka.

"Hi!" masayang bati ni Prince sa kaniya at kita ko pa 'yong hindi maipintang ngiti niya habang nakikipagkamayan dito.

"Hello... I'm Jaz. Oh, my gosh, sorry medyo masikip 'yong bahay," may pag-aalangan niyang sabi. The lack of grasp of what was happening was obvious in her voice. Wala siyang alam sa lahat ng nangyari.

"It's fine. Shawn told me everything about your friendship and how you guys met. From beginning to end," natutuwang paliwanag ni Prince. "So I know it's easy for us to get along."

"Ah! Oo naman! He's my bestest friend, and so... basta, kahit sinong related kay Yshawn best friend ko na rin!" may tawang sabi niya at sa nakikita ko pa na parang matagal na silang magkakila.

After that, Prince greeted her and I also interjected. I congratulated Jaz and told her that I had always been proud of her and that absolutely would never change. She gestured with her hands as I drew a bit closer, telling me to take them, and I did so.

"Happy birthday..." I greeted her as we held hands. She had a big smile when she thanked me.

A lot has changed for Jaz. Unlike before when her words were sometimes hindered... she is now way pretty talkative and happy. I'm glad to see the version of her like this. Binigay na namin ang mga regalo namin para sa kaniya and she accepted them with warmth. Ang kapatid na rin niya ang naglagay noong mga regalo doon sa gilid ng table kung saan naroon din nakalatag ang mga handa.

Sinamahan naman niya kami ni Prince sa table na pwede naming upuan. Ang pag-aakala ko ay tatayo lang kami buong gabi dahil halos lahat yata ng mga table ay occupied na sa dami ng bisita. Pero alam naman ni Jaz na pupunta kami kaya naglaan talaga siya ng para sa amin.

Pagkapunta namin ng likod bahay ay nakito kong kumakaway na sa akin si Bea. Malawak ang bakuran at may stage pa sa gilid namin. Paniguradong may kakanta roon dahil nakita kong naka-set up na iyong mga gamit pang-banda.

"Ang tagal mo naman! Tang inang 'to." Bungad kaagad sa akin ni Bea noong makaupo ako sa tabi niya. "Nabati ko na yata lahat ng bisita, wala ka pa rin."

"We arrived on time," sabi ko habang nag-aayos ng sarili sa pag-upo. Medyo gumulo na rin kasi ang setting ng upuan na parang may iba't ibang tao na ang gumamit kaya inaayos ko muna ang clothing nito. "You're just too early."

"Kaya nga..." mahinang sabi niya sa gilid ko. "Reason na 'yon para pumunta ka rin ng maaga!"

"Why does it sound like it's my fault?" I mumbled.

Sabay naman kaming napatingala noong kinuha ni Jaz ang atensyon namin. Nakita kong may mga kasama na siya at sinabi niya kay Prince na nasa tabi ko, na kung pwedeng doon sa kabilang table na lang muna siya umupo para magkakasama kaming tatlo at iyong mga kasama niya rin rito sa table.

Pumayag naman kaagad ang lalaki at binulungan niya pa ako na mag-enjoy ako kasama sila bago siya naglakad paupo roon sa umpok ng mga lalaki. They were already drinking, so I told him to eat first bago makisali sa ikot ng alak.

Ngumiti naman siya at sinunod ako. Umupo na sa table namin ang mga kasama ni Jaz at siya naman ay nasa harapan naming lahat. I didn't have a hard time socializing because I felt comfortable with them right once, especially since they all seemed to have the same sense of humor.

Jaz stopped laughing and gestured at the person next to her. "Anyway, this is Dianne and Summer. Magkakapit bahay lang kami dati kaya ayon... naging close kami."

Kumaway sa aming dalawa sina Dianne at Summer. Hindi naman ako kaagad nakapagsalita noong malamang si Summer pala ang katabi ko. Hindi ko agad namukhaan ang hitsura niya. Ganito pala ang hitsura niya sa malapitan, hindi ko siya nakilala. She has such a soft atmosphere and she is stunningly beautiful.

"Actually, we have another friend. He was on his way here, but he got stuck in traffic. Mamaya darating din 'yon. Pakilala ko siya sa inyo," sabi naman ni Dianne na ikinatahimik bigla ni Jaz. Nakita ko pa ang pagtingin ni Summer sa kaniya, nag-aalala. Pero si Dianne ay parang inaasar pa lalo si Jaz, she smiled playfully at her.

"Si Ivan..." I heard Summer whisper next to me.

Sila lang din naman ang nagkakaintindihan sa pinag-uusapan nila kaya hindi na rin kami nagtanong ni Bea tungkol pa roon. Maya-maya ay tumayo na si Jaz para magsalita sa stage. Napapalakpak naman kami ni Bea sa tuwa noong marinig naming binanggit niya ang pangalan naming dalawa sa birthday speech niya.

Hanggang sa lumalim ang gabi ay paunti-unti na ring kumukaunti ang bisita dahil karamihan sa mga iyon ay nagsi-uwian na. Isa-isa namang in-entertain ni Jaz ang mga iyon. Para iisang table na lang ang gamitin namin ay inusog na lang nila Prince ang table nila padikit sa amin.

Tumabi na siya sa akin at naaamoy ko naman sa hininga niya ang alak. Hindi pa naman siya lasing kahit na sa amoy niya pa lang ay naparami na rin siya ng inom. Pero sinabi ko na agad sa kaniya na ako na lang ang magmamaneho ng kotse pag-uwi para makapagpahinga na rin siya, hindi naman ako uminom.

"Ate, may tao sa labas. Pinapasok ko na," sabi ng bunsong kapatid ni Jaz na si Caleb.

"There he is!" Dumako ang tingin ko kay Dianne dahil sa sinabi niya. Malawak ang ngiti niya habang nasa phone ang mga mata at maya-maya ay binaba niya iyon bago bumaling doon sa pinto.

My mouth dropped in surprise when I saw who it was. Nakita kong palapit na si Kuya Sullivan sa gawi namin at napansin naman ni Prince ang naging reaksyon ko. Sumama ang timpla ng mukha niya so I told him straight away that I accidentally knew him at a park and that I often crossed by him there, nothing special. He then just nodded.

Malawak ang ngiti ni Kuya Sullivan habang nakikipagbeso siya kina Summer at Dianne. Noong makita niya ako ay kinawayan niya naman ako at sinuklian ko rin naman iyon ng ngiti. Jaz got up and headed towards him, she was so energetic unlike earlier when she suddenly became silent. Nagkaroon agad ng gap sa bibig ni Kuya Sullivan at nagmuwestra siya ng mga braso payakap.

For a moment, I saw him freeze when Jaz just passed him. Akala naming lahat ay siya ang lalapitan ni Jaz, and I thought that was the only thing that would surprise me, but little did I know that there is more. What I felt was not just a surprise but an outpouring of emotions. I seemed to have stiffened in my seat while my eyes were on him.

"Gino!" Jaz beamed, and their cheeks met.

When his eyes fell on me, I quickly shifted my gaze. Nakita ko naman sa harapan ko si Kuya Sullivan na halata ang pagkapahiya. Marahang tatango-tango siyang umupo sa tabi ni Dianne. We seem to have the same reaction, we're both confused! Inaasahan ko rin na mag-re-react si Prince, at narinig ko pa ang pabulong niyang mura pabato sa lalaki noong makaupo na rin ito sa harapan namin.

"Happy birthday, and congrats," malamig na bati niya sabay abot ng regalo na kaswal namang tinanggap ni Jaz. He didn't even pretend to be happy with his voice, kahit sa pagbati man lang. He just gives me the impression that he's still affected.

Napaayos naman ako ng upo na parang biglang napaso noong binato niya ako ng tingin. Habang umiikot ang shot at nag-uusap sila ay hindi naman ako mapalagay dahil maya't maya niya rin ako kung tingnan.

"H'wag mo isisi 'to sa 'kin. Hindi ako nagpapunta diyan," Bea whispered to me.

Napatitig naman ako sa kaniya nang matagal para suriin kung totoo ba ang sinasabi niya. At noong pinagtaasan niya ako ng kilay ay napakagat na lang ako ng pang-ibabang labi. This time, it wasn't Bea who invited him or told him to come here.

"W-Who is it then?" I mumbled and she just shrugged her shoulders. My brows creased. "Were you guys playing at me?"

"Or is fate playing with you?" Bea's face scrunched up and she came a little closer to me. "Maging observant ka nga! We saw earlier that Jaz was expecting to see him."

"Do you mean..." Napaisip ako ng malalim sa sinabi niya. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa at alam ko na agad kung ano ang pinaparating niya.

Tinawag naman si Jaz ng kapatid niya at sinabihang may magpapaalam na sa kaniya kaya tumayo naman siya kaagad para ihatid iyong mga bisitang uuwi na. For a moment, I told Prince that I'd just go to the restroom... but that's not exactly what I'm going to do... I'm going to bombard Jaz with questions.

After I entered the house I heavily sat on the sofa, stunned by what had happened while waiting for Jaz to come back. I want to ask her why Gino is here. I know she doesn't know what happened between us, but how did they get in touch? How did they have contacts and all?

Napa-angat ako ng ulo noong makita ko siyang dumaan sa harapan ko. She seems to be out of her senses because she didn't even notice me on her side. Halata ring malalim pa ang iniisip niya dahil kagat-kagat niya ang mga kuko niya habang naglalakad.

"Jaz," pagtawag ko sa kaniya at nagulat naman siya. Napahawak pa siya sa dibdib. I stood up and approached her. "I didn't mean to surprise you. Ayos ka lang?" Mukha siyang tensyunado.

"O-Oo!" she stuttered and upon hearing the laughter in her voice, she seemed just found a relief. "Ayos lang ako. Akala ko kung sino. Bakit?" She was able to smile at me normally.

"Can we talk?" I was suddenly puzzled when her reaction came back, reaksyon niya noong makita niya si Kuya Sullivan. She was quiet but her reaction was screaming.

"Tungkol ba 'to sa pag-ignore ko sa kaniya? Am I being too obvious?!" Napaawang ang bibig ko sa sinabi niya.

So iyon pala ang dahilan ng pagtahimik niya? At kung bakit siya parang wala sa sarili niya? Ramdam ko naman na may something sa kanilang dalawa, at sa pinag-uusapan pa lang nila Dianne at Summer na may kaibigan pa sila na pupunta at paasar nilang pinaparinig iyon sa kaniya ay alam ko nang may nangyari. Pero hindi ko naman na iyon inisip.

"Hindi. Hindi tungkol diyan," sabi ko.

"Ah... putang ina." She looked down while holding her forehead. Pinipilit alisin ang tama ng alak sa katawan. It was dizzying to look at her as I heard her chanting curses and repeatedly walking around. "Ang halata ko masyado! Tang ina! Tang ina... alak pa! Woooh! Pinractice ko na 'to, e!"

Pabagsak na napaupo na lang siya at naglakad naman ako patabi sa kaniya. I kept quiet and didn't ask why she was acting this way since I already knew the answer. Pinakiramdaman ko na lang siya. Noong makita siyang kalmado na ay inunahan ko na siya ng tanong.

"Why he's here?" tanong ko at napa-angat siya ng tingin sa akin.

"Sino?" She couldn't figure out who I was talking about at first, but after a long thought, while I looked at her, she just nodded, finally getting who it was. "Gino?"

I nodded slowly while looking away from her and stared at the floor. "Hmm."

"Hoy!" We both almost jumped in shock when we heard Bea's voice. Jaz and I held our chests in panic, and Bea just laughed and watched our reaction when she sat next to us. "Gulat na gulat, ah. Halatang may tinatago. Ano pinag-uusapan niyo?"

Noong makabawi kami ng hininga ay walang pag-aatubiling nilapitan siya ni Jaz para patamaan ng sipa. Agad namang naiwasan iyon ni Bea at hindi rin naman na inulit iyon ni Jaz, umupo na lang siya ulit pabalik habang tumatawa naman iyong isa. Kung hindi lang sila parehong naka-dress ay baka hindi lang iyon ang mangyayari.

"We're just..." I uttered.

"Ay, alam ko na," Bea said before taking the pillow next to me and looking at us intently. Dinuro niya pa kaming dalawa kasabay ng panliliit ng mga mata niya. "Bina-badmouth niyo mga ex niyo!"

"Ex?" Jaz and I said it together in a high-pitched voice, we were both shocked.

Mga ex niyo? It's not that it can't or won't happen to Jaz, but she does have an ex? So, who would it be?

"Hindi mo alam?" Bea asked me. "Ex ni Jaz 'yong lalaking dumating kanina. 'Yong matangkad na moreno."

"Si Kuya Sullivan?" Nanlalaki na ang mga mata ko sa narinig.

"Kuya Sullivan?" bigla namang nagsalita si Jaz at tinanong iyon sa akin, naguguluhan naman ngayon si Bea at palipat-lipat pa ang mga mata niya sa 'ming dalawa. "Kilala mo?"

"I... I ran into him in the park, near where I live. We happened to cross paths there."

Matagal na napatitig sa akin si Jaz bago niya naiproseso ang sinabi ko. When I looked over to Bea, I noticed her giggling and covering her mouth with her palm. How come that the universe is so small!

"Gino is your ex, right?" Jaz asked. After drinking the glass of water, I set the glass down and faced Jaz. "Kala ko nagbibiruan lang tayo kanina no'ng pinakilala mo si Prince sa 'kin."

"You do not know?" Sasagot na sana ako kaso si Bea na ang naunang sumingit sa tanong.

"Definitely, yes!" Jaz said sarcastically. Tama nga na si Jaz ang nagpapunta sa kaniya rito. "Wala akong contact sa inyo. The region where I teach has no signal, so how would I know?"

"And so it happened that you sent him here because you didn't know anything?" I asked.

"Yes!" She then shrugged her shoulders.

"Eh, sino naman nagpapunta rito kay Ivan?" Lumapit na sa amin si Bea na animo'y na-e-excite na sa mga nalaman. Nagigitgit na niya ako kaya marahan ko na siyang pinausog palayo.

"I don't know! 'Yan din 'yong iniisip ko kanina pa!" Napamasahe na si Jaz sa sintido niya.

"Baka wala ring signal dito?"

"What?" Jaz and I were in sync again when we heard what Bea said.

Matapos ang pag-uusap naming iyon ay napagdesisyunan na naming bumalik sa table pero hindi pa ako nakabalik dahil hinihintay ko pa si Jaz na nag-aasikaso ulit ng mga bisitang uuwi, may itatanong ulit ako sa kaniya. Si Bea na lang ang naunang bumalik dahil naalala niyang naiwan niya ang phone niya roon sa table. Nakalimutan niyang may mga anak pa siyang kukumustahin.

Noong makabalik si Jaz ay tumayo na ako at sumabay sa paglalakad niya. Nilalakaran na namin itong likod bahay pero bago pa kami makapunta sa pwesto nila ay hinila ko siya patago sa gilid ng malaking drum. Nagtataka pa siya sa ginawa ko dahilan para mapalinga-linga siya sa paligid para alamin kung may tao ba akong tinataguan.

"Ano 'yon? Sino 'yon?" aligagang tanong niya.

"We're not hiding from anyone." I couldn't stop smiling because of how devoted she was to hiding.

Napaayos naman siya nang tayo matapos kong sabihin iyon saka niya ako tiningnan ng nakataas ang isang kilay. She silently eyeing me.

"Bakit parang mag-co-confess ka ng feelings mo?" When she stated that, I gave her a long, sharp look as I pondered the term 'confess'. I can't fathom doing anything like that! I noticed her suddenly covering her mouth. She took a step back and leaned against the water drum as if she was suddenly afraid of me. "Uy, gagi ka-"

"No! No..." I waved my hands. Why does she think like that? "May itatanong lang ako... I just don't want anyone to hear it. That's why I brought you here."

Agad naman siyang bumalik sa katinuan at maayos na niya akong hinarap. "Kinabahan ako! Ngano man?"

"Gino... I just want to ask how you two became close?"

Sandali siyang natahimik.

"Uhm, nilapitan niya ako. 'Yon din 'yong araw na umalis ka." Jaz's face clouded. "Naaalala ko pa kung ano 'yong hitsura niya no'n. He was like a parent who lost a child... umiiyak siya no'n habang natatarantang hinahanap ka."

I automatically bowed down as if I lost the courage to face everyone.



"And... then?" I asked slowly.



"Then, he asked for my help to find you pero hindi na rin kasi kita ma-contact no'n kaya hindi na rin siya umasa na matutulungan ko siya. I visited him sometimes at the apartment you used to stay, to see how he was, and we talked. Okay naman siya sa 'kin," she explained that carefully.

"He used to live in that apartment?" That's the only thing that struck my mind from everything she said.

Jaz nodded. "Years... he was there for six years before I moved to Mindanao." At the final moment, she paused before sighing. "I'm not sure what happened next after that. And Bea didn't get a chance to tell me since we were both too busy. You know we have our own lives kaya ngayon ko lang din nalaman na nakipaghiwalay ka pala sa kaniya."

"I see," I just managed to utter.

"Ano ba nangyari sa inyong dalawa?" That's when I raised my head. I wanted to answer that but I opted to keep wordless as I lacked the courage. Is this how you feel when you have done something that has caused harm to someone else? I feel like something decent in me has been lost. "Why did you two... break up?"

Kumawala ang luha sa mga mata ko at mabilis ko iyong pinunasan bago niya pa iyon makita. Noong hindi ako makasagot ay naramdaman ko na lang ang paghaplos niya sa braso ko. She just understood it.

"You checked on him sometimes, right?" I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Have you ever seen him with... s-someone?"

I may have sounded desperate, but I need to know more about what Gino told me. Para kumpairmahin 'yong mga sinabi niya, kung tugma ba ito, kung inosente ba talaga siya. It hurts to know the truth, but it hurts even more, to know that all the things I accused him of were not true, that I was the one who was wrong in the first place. Dahil kung ganoon, nakasakit ako ng inosente.

"Someone? Do you mean... something like a girlfriend or boyfriend?" I bit my lower lip before nodding. "Hindi. In those years, he was alone."

Bigla akong nanghina. And I just leaned against the wall with my head down to grabbed a support. Naramdaman ko sa tabi si Jaz at nakita siyang nakasandal na rin habang naroon sa harapan ang mga mata niya. I'm at a loss for words, and I'm not even sure if I can absorb everything. I'm confused by the truth.

"I saw him kissing someone else," I said with suppressed anger. Every time I think about that, my anger comes back. No, it didn't come back, saw him kissing someone else... I was still there... stuck. "My eyes saw how much he enjoyed it. He liked it!"

My eyes indeed saw the two of them kissing, so paano ko paniniwaalaan iyong sinasabi niya na si Aisha lang talaga ang may gusto sa nangyaring iyon? He doesn't look like that, they both want that... I saw it! Nakita ng mga mata ko iyon!

Napatittig lang sa akin si Jaz na animo'y tinatantsa ang emosyon ko. Dahil baka sa oras na magsalita siya ay kontrahin ko lang iyon, halata sa akin na nagpipigil lang ako ng galit. Nilapitan niya ako at yinakap habang hinahaplos ng isang kamay niya ang likuran ko.

"That's the reason why we broke up." I cried.

"I understand you, Yshawn... It must have been hard for you," she said so gently and did everything she could to soothe me down.

When I calmed down, we went back to the table. Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko bago sila hinarap. Ayokong ipahalata sa kanila na kagagaling ko lang sa pag-iyak. After a long time, Prince still did not take his eyes off to Gino. Kung kanina ay matindi iyon, now it became even more intense when he saw that Gino was the star of the conversation.

They bombarded him with questions, and I could tell Prince didn't like that. Naririnig ko ang pagsinghap niya habang nagsasalita si Gino. When Bea spoke, I begged all the saints to just take me away... she just asked him why he cheated! Masyado na siyang nalunod sa alak kaya kung saan-saan na lang kung alunin ang isip niya at natanong niya iyon!

"I'm asking you! Why did you cheat on my best friend..."

Gago!

"You look like you're about to pee..." When I gave Jaz a long look, she immediately understood me. She stood up and urged Bea to follow in her footsteps but the woman refused! She refuses to negotiate with us!

Napahinto naman sa paglalakad si Jaz at nilapitan na si Bea, hinihila na niya 'to patayo.

"Me? I'm pee?" Bea pointed at herself, ayaw magpapigil!

"Yes, didn't you say earlier that you were going to pee?" Jaz uttered, it was obvious from her voice that she was faking things. "And look, I think you need to rest, Bea. You're too drunk."

I don't know where to insert myself, but I don't want any more trouble. And I know Bea will start to worsen it, so we need to figure out how to stop her. And this is the only way we can think of.

"No... I'm not... drunk! And I'm not pee..." Nag-iiskandalo na siya. She looks like a spoiled brat girl throwing a tantrum!

"You are..." Si Jaz.

Muntik niya pang matumba ang mesa at pasalamat naman dahil agad iyong nasuportahan nina kuya Sullivan at Gino. Prince asked me if it was possible to let Bea get into the house to calm her down, and I nodded.

"Is she okay? Do you need help?" Summer asked worriedly as Jaz struggled to calm Bea down.

Tumulong na ako sa pagkalma sa kaniya pero masyado siyang makulit at pinagpipilitan na hindi siya naiihi. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang patagong binuhusan ng tubig ang harap ng dress niya.

"Oh, my god... I think she's right. She's not pee anymore... she's peed?" Dianne said with a frown as she pointed her finger in front of Bea.

Napatingin naman ang babae roon at napahinto sa pagpupumiglas. She held it and planned to smell it, but before she could lift the hem of her dress, Dianne immediately stopped her.

She pulled down the hem of Bea's Dress, and if she didn't catch it right away, people around here might see her insides. Once na sober up na siya, that would be the most embarrassing moment for her!

"Bea..." Jaz uttered disappointedly.

I repeatedly apologized to Bea in my head for what I had done to her. I don't know what to do anymore, iyon na lang ang naisip ko!

"No. No... this isn't pee..." pagpupumilit pa ng babae.

"Take your heels off," Summer spoke softly. Lumuhod siya at maingat na tinanggal ang heels ni Bea. Pinasuot niya kay Bea iyong pair ng tsinelas na kinuha niya kanina roon sa harapan ng pinto. "Thank you for that..."

"Samahan ko na kayo," I said.

"No need na, Yshawn. We're fine. Thank you," Jaz said before they pulled Bea inside.

Naiwan kaming apat dito sa table. And that fact and reality, that the three of us are at the same table, make me uneasy. Because of that, no one dares to speak. Ang nagagawa ko na lang ay ang ngitian pabalik si Kuya Sullivan.

Nakikita ko na may gustong sabihin o itanong sa akin si Kuya Sullivan pero napapahinto siyang magsalita noong maobserbahan niya ang masamang paninitig ni Prince sa kaniya. Gino didn't miss those blood-shot eyes either.

"I... I'll just check on them," sabi ko at naiilang na tumayo.

"Do you want me to accompany you, Babe?" I quickly looked at Prince when I heard what he said.

I could see Gino's deep gaze at me from the corner of my eye and when I turned to Kuya Sullivan, inosente lang ang hitsura niya. Walang pakialam na kumakain lang siya noong barbecue. I expect that he will be surprised because it is unusual for people to call his fellow men like that.

"Hindi na, Prince. Saglit lang naman ako," I said and he nodded.

I retreated and exhaled a sigh of relief as soon as I was out of their presence. I sighed as I leaned against the tree. I first went to see Jaz before coming here to the front of the house, and they were still caring for Bea in her room. They had called Kuya Cashmere to pick her up. Maya-maya ay darating na rin iyon.

I sat down and leaned my head against the tree. I looked up and watched the leaves dance in the wind. I tried my best to look at him differently from before, I did everything to get to know him again, to get to know who he is now. But as time went on and as I got to know him, I still looked at him way back, I still saw him as before.

The betrayal continues to haunt me.

Even though I know that everything happened in the past and that I shouldn't linger on it, I still... I still can't help but experience pain whenever I think of it. He's way too good to me, too good to be true... to the point that I didn't think he could betray me. They wounded me and left me scarred... and he was able to do it as well.

"Does he really like you?"

Napalis ang tingin ko sa kalangitan at ang mga mata ay napatitig sa kawalan nang marinig ang boses na iyon. I bit my bottom lip before lowering my head and glancing to the side. I didn't notice that he was just right behind me, resting behind a tree. We were both leaning against the same tree.

I looked in front and nodded as if he could see that. "Yes," I answered confidently.

He suddenly fell silent.

"But I love you," I heard him mumble.

I tightly pursed my lips. Isn't it true that hearing someone say they love you makes your heart feel warm and a lot better? But why, though, am I feeling this way? I'm hurting.

I rose when I could not stay seated in his presence. As I was ready to go, he was already standing in front of me, so I halted. I bowed my head when he gave me a deep look before softly wiping my face with his thumb.

"I hate it," I whispered and busted out laughing while fighting back my tears.

I have taken up my face and begun wiping it myself. As I get older, I get weaker and weaker. I cry all the time, and he always witnessed that to me. And I hate it.



"These past few days... were you just fine?" Pupungay-pungay na ang kaniyang mga mata, halatang na-co-consume na siya ng alak.

I gulped down to gain strength, at nang maramdaman kong buo na ang loob ko ay tiningala ko siya at tiningnan ng direkta sa mga mata.

I nodded firmly. "I'm fine."

Napatitig siya ng matagal sa akin at nakita ko ang mabilis na pagpatak ng luha sa mga mata niya. He bit his lip and then turned his head away from me. He then looked at me and nodded as tears streaming down his face.

"It's good..." There was a tinge of pain in the tone of his voice when he chuckled happily.

Napayuko siya. When he looked up, he turned to his side, and there's something was holding him back. Ilang sandali pa noong hinarap na niya ako, I just saw his face full of tears.

Narinig ko ang paghikbi niya at nakita ko na lang siya na pilit pinupunasan ang mga luha sa mga mata niya. He tried so hard to wash it off so I couldn't see it, pero napahinto na lang siya noong wala na siyang magawa.

"I... I'm happy to hear that..." He laughed but there was a cry along with it. "But... w-why does hearing that you were fine those days... hurt me?" He stared at me, and his frail eyes easily crushed my heart. "Yshawn... I wasn't fine those days."

I tried my best not to cry, but when I stared into his helpless eyes, which seemed to be pleading to me, I broke down in tears.

He quickly walked towards me, and that's when I felt his familiar embrace. I felt the warmth of his body again, and the embrace that was full of love the same as before.

"I missed you. I missed you, I missed you... I missed you..." he chanted softly right into my ear as I cried ugly on his shoulder.

To guard this heart of mine, I was too persistent, giving him the impression that he was just nothing to me. This is the reason that tells me that I can hurt him, as much as what he did to me.

But while protecting it, I'm crushing on his... And I was also shattered since I didn't want that... That was not my intention.

"I'm... I'm not a bad person..." I whispered against his shoulder.

"I know..." he hushly said.

I closed my eyes firmly and buried my face in his shoulder, and there I cried.

*****