"What the hell did you do?!"

While in my office, I heard a voice that echoed through the area. I stopped organizing my things and went outside to see what was happening. After leaving my office, I overheard the exchange of words between two people in the nearby cubicle.

"I tried to turn it off many times but it still comes out the same," Neo said while scratching his head. "I can't fix it."

The two who were arguing were Neo and Thiago. Neo is one of the employees of this clothing company and Thiago is his senior, he's the marketing manager. They are always like this, parati silang nagtatalo sa kung anong bagay.

Last time, they argued about Neo's mirror shot while he was raising his long-sleeve polo to show off his abs, he just accidentally sent it to our group chat kung saan nandoon din ang mga boss namin.

This time, I don't know what they are arguing about at rinig na rinig pa 'yon sa office ko. But I don't think it's a serious issue since everyone knows how close the two are. They will be both fine sooner or later.

"Are you for real?" Thiago looked up at him in disbelief, he was sitting in Neo's cubicle and fixing his PC. "You just installed a torrent, from a fucking third-party website to download and play this cracked version of Minecraft using this company's computer and internet? Seriously?"

I hurriedly raised an eyebrow and moved to approach the cubicle. Did he use the company's computer just to play stuff like that? How did that happen? All PCs here have restrictions.

"Really what the hell, Neo?" I reacted. They both looked at me, and Neo stroked his chin with a pang of guilt on his face. I brought my eyes closer to the PC's screen, and I saw what he was doing inside of his Minecraft world. He was building a flower farm, may mga cute na rabbit pang gumagala-gala. "You're playing Minecraft, sa work?"

Almost all of their coworkers laughed upon hearing what they heard. Fortunately, it is already a work break, so their working hours will not be interrupted. I'm part of the directors, ergo I can see Neo's guilty expression.

"Dinig na dinig ko boses niyo sa tenth floor," istriktong sabi ni Ate Carra na nasa likuran ko na pala. Tumabi siya sa akin at nakangiting pinagtaasan ng kilay si Neo. "Ano na naman bang ginawa nitong tuta niyo?" tanong ni Ate Carra na nasagot ko lang ng pagbuga ng hininga.

"And how did you even access these websites, huh?" Thiago remarked loudly, and he couldn't take his frown off of his face. "And don't you even dare try to trick around, I talked to the IT admins... they saw your history searches!"

"History searches?" I looked at Neo questioningly. Pagtingin ko sa kaniya ay naaligaga siya, hindi niya alam ang sasabihin habang nakikita niya akong nakatingin lang sa kaniya.

Neo dared to shush Thiago. "Pahinaan naman ng boses, sir Ago," bulong niya kay Thiago, palinga-linga pa siya sa paligid na animo'y hindi na makayanang makita pa ang sarili sa kahihiyan.

"Now you have shame?" Thiago took a bunch of papers and threw them at Neo. "Don't show me that face or else I'll disclose it!"

"Sorry, sir!" payukong sabi ni Neo at sabay na mabilis na lumapit kay Thiago pakapit sa braso nito. "Oh, Thiago, how I miss your adorable smile so much?" He made beautiful eyes while smiling.

"For Pete's sake, Neo!" Thiago roared without joking, and Neo immediately removed his grip on his arm.

I darted my eyes to the computer and I could clearly see the number of tabs that appeared. Mukhang na-virus-an nga ito dahilan para mahirapan sa pag-aayos si Thiago. I don't know what my reaction will be when this issue reaches the admins... ako mismo ang nahihiya para kay Neo.

"Should I call the IT specialist?" I asked Thiago and he agreed right away.

Tinawagan ko naman agad ang technical officer na mag-aayos nitong PC habang sinusuri naman ni Thiago ang iba pang problema noon. Hindi niya rin mapigilang balingan ng masamang tingin si Neo.

"Have you heard the news?" tanong ni Ate Carra kay Neo. Taas kilay na nilapitan niya ito. "May isang empleyadong kakatanggal lang do'n sa floor namin. Baka gusto mong sumunod?"

"Don't warn him, just fire him immediately! Pinapahamak pati confidential information ng company," Thiago commented while his eyes were on the computer. "This isn't actually the first time, and surely that's why it got viruses because of those repulsive websites he visited! The other day, this brat just watched porn!"



My mouth just fell open.



"Oh, my god?" Kahit si Ate Carra ay hindi makapaniwala sa narinig.

"Oop!" sambit ni Neo, balak niya pa sanang pigilan si Thiago. Muli naman siyang naaligaga at napakamot na lang ng ulo. "I... I wasn't watching. I was just... downloading some," he admitted.

"Okay..." Thiago's tone of voice sounded like he was so fed up. "And again, how did you access those kind of sites?" Thiago asked him again.

"I... know a few hacks." Neo bowed his head in shame.

"My god ka talaga, Neo," Ate Carra's voice was audibly irritated as she spoke. "Maganda naman pasahod sa 'yo, ba't 'di ka na lang magpakabit ng internet sa bahay niyo?"

"D-Dagdag... gastos po."

Right. In my few years of living here in Manila, I have come to know their common behaviors and mindsets. The gap was quite big. Saying po and opo aren't new to me, I know it is part of the culture, but I must say that we don't use them very often in my place, and no one taught me to become accustomed to them.

I also spent almost a few months adapting to the new customs that were not in my place. But it's just the basics, which anyone can pick quickly. Not only was I alone when I was struggling but Ate Carra and others were also there to help me. I studied BSBA and was hired for this job.

"Nakakahiya na... nagkakagulo tayo dahil lang diyan sa kalibugan mo!" singhal ni Ate Carra sa lalaki. She then dragged me away from the cubicle as she turned her back on Neo. "So ano? Tuloy ba kayo sa Tuesday?"

She walked me over to this spot... in front of the vending machine, where she chatted with me while preparing coffee. I sat at the counter and crossed my arms.

"Hmm..." I nodded. "Paalis na dapat ako kanina para kuhanin 'yong pinatahi kong suit, but that's what happened."

"Hayaan mo na 'yan si Neo! Sasakit lang ulo mo diyan," pagsasawalang bahalang sabi ni ate Carra. "Anong oras daw 'yong party?"

"Early night," I answered.

She nodded as she sipped her coffee. "Wow... lume-level up na kayo, ha? Anong level na kayo? Lev ang isa't isa o lev-ugan part na? Char!" birong sabi niya pa. "Biruin mo, hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutan na sinundan ka pa niya rito sa Manila makita ka lang?"

Napangisi lang ako sa narinig. "Walang something sa 'min, Ate Carra."

She jokingly hit me on the arm. "Anong wala? Kalat na kalat na nga 'yong chismis na nakita raw nila kayong dalawa do'n sa Cafe sa Antipolo."

Napalingon ako sa paligid nang iminuwestra ni Ate Carra ang palad niya sa mga empleyado. They have a knack for catching a rumor, but because it's only gossip, and they don't have any proof that something is going on between the two of us... I shouldn't be bothered.

I heaved a sigh. "Yeah, that's true but it's not true that there's something between us. Nandon lang kami para magkape."

She gave me a puzzled look and she raised her eyebrow. "Hmm, okay. Sabi mo, e. But time will tell. Oh, siya, sige. Marami pa 'kong gagawin."

She patted me on the shoulder and I started walking with her. When we parted ways, she let out a word, "I feel like Boss's eyes are all around!" I laughed when she said that.

I went into the office and kept organizing stuff. Si Ate Carra, she has been quite supportive of me. She was always there for me when I needed anything and everything. It was the same every time I was alone, at sa tuwing walang-wala ako, she was ready to reach my hand, and never leave me.

That was the time when I came here to Manila alone but my support system extended, even more, when Bea came here to Manila and here she also found a job and a husband.

They already had two children, who were fraternal twins with the lovely names Caden and Brianna, and I was chosen as their Ninong. I also fell in love with both of the kids since I longed for a sibling. I always stop by their house just to play with the two and talk with them.

Sa tuwing may day off o extra akong oras ay naghahanda na kaagad ako sa pag-iisip na pwedeng ipasalubong sa dalawa. I can't express how excited I am to pay a visit and act out the situation.

"Ka-edad mo na si June, mag-aanak ka pa ba?" I looked up at the person who spoke and stopped playing with the twins for a moment when I saw Bea in front of me. She sat on the sofa.

I sat in the rocking chair and sipped some juice she made. "Sometimes we don't agree with the kismet of having a child at this age."

"Hoy!" She sounds offended. "So, when is the right time? While you're in your sixties? I swear that woman can't do it anymore."

Inirapan niya ako bago nilapitan ang kambal para bigyan ng juice at ng sandwhich na ginawa niya. Mabuti na lang at wala pa sa tamang edad ang mga bata para maintindihan ang pinag-uusapan naming dalawa.

"Why's it that, when you're a woman, you're expected to get married?" She sat back and couldn't look me in the eyes, she was thinking about my question. "That you should have a man capable of being a decent husband. I'm sure there's more to it, that you have privileges, and are not only designated for the kitchen, and cleaning duties... a wife. You are a woman who is so smart and influential, capable of doing anything other than marriage, even running a country... You all are dreamers, believers, and doers, who can achieve great things even without the help of men."

I've been keeping it to myself for a long time that I don't agree with Bea's decision. I know that she only married her husband because of her parent's wishes, and the unbroken idea na bilang pagiging praktikal lamang.

It cannot be denied that the man has the potential to sustain Bea and ensure that even if she does not have to work hard, there are always meals on the table for her, but it cannot break her own will... I know that her dream is more important to her than marriage.

Bumuntong hininga siya at nagpakita ng ngiti. Hindi niya inaasahan na sasabihin ko iyon dahil ang alam niya ay buo ang supporta ko sa kaniya sa pagpapakasal.

"Tama ka. Pero, hindi kasi ako kasing swrete ni'yo ni Jaz, e. Isang beses nga lang sinuwerte, sa ganitong sitwasyon pa." Narinig ko ang pilit niyang tawa.

I think I hurt her. I had no intention of making her feel that way.

"I-I didn't mean to..."

"Ayos lang!" She laughed a bit, but this time it was forced.

"W-What I mean is... you should pursue the offer to study fine arts abroad. 'Di ba 'yon naman talaga ang pangarap mo?" I said.

"Anong sa tingin mo kung bakit 'di ko tinanggap 'yong offer ni Mr. Ramos?" The smile still hasn't disappeared from her lips.

Napatingin ako sa sahig, iniisip iyon.

"W-Wala akong ideya..." I said confusedly.

Nagpakawala siya ng mahinhin na tawa. "Ano ka ba! May gusto sa 'kin 'yong matandang 'yon! Mas gugustuhin mo ba 'kong mapunta sa matandang 'yon na libog lang ang alam?"

That gave me disgust!

"Hindi ko alam na gano'n pala, Bea..."

"It's fine." Nagtaas siya ng kamay para bigyang diin ang sinabi. "I know why you both protecting me like that, becuase you love me." She smiled sweetly.

Napangiti na lang din ako roon.

"Pero kung hindi ka sumama... may iba pa namang paraan bukod sa pagpapakasal, 'di ba?"

"Oo, tama rin naman 'yan." She nodded. "Kaso mahal niya ako, e. Mahal ko rin."

"What?" My brows met.

Akala ko ba hindi niya mahal ang asawa niya? Natatandaan ko pa noon ang paghingi niya sa akin ng tulong makatakas lang sa kasal niya pero bakit ngayon ay nagbago na? Paano?

Napasunod ako ng tingin noong tumayo si Bea at pinagmasdan ang malawak nilang hardin. Bumuntong-hininga siya na may ngiti sa labi bago niya ako tinapunan ng tingin.

"Don't worry, Yshawn. If you think he's like your Dad because he hurts me sometimes, you're mistaken. Mahal niya kami, mahal na mahal niya ang mga bata."

Her words left me speechless. As I gazed upon the twins, I couldn't help but notice their carefree nature and the genuine smiles on their faces. I couldn't help but compare our experiences to theirs. Unlike them, my sister and I never had the luxury of being peaceful and happy. We never truly understood the meaning of home.

"Why..." I bit my lower lip. "I-I don't understand... Why did you give up your dreams just because of love?"

Bea took a long breath, her smile was wide, and I was taken aback by her reaction. "Kaya pala hindi mo naintindihan si Gino noon."

Napanganga ako sa narinig. It's been a long time since I heard his name and at this time and just for a moment when I heard it, everything seemed to come back again... everything.

"W-What do you mean?" I nervously said, my chest started pounding. 

"Ganyan ba 'yong hitsura na nakalimot na?" Tumawa siya na kinailang ko naman. Bumalik siya sa pagkakaupo habang nasa akin lang ang tingin. Napalunok ako at nag-iwas ng tingin sa kaniya. Ganoon ba kahalata ang reaksyon ko? "Even though I didn't love Cashmere before, I learned that eventually. Do you know why?"

Umiling ako. "H-Hindi..."

"Simple lang... He was true to me, he fulfilled everything he promised and made a lot of sacrifices for me, and because of that... it wasn't just love that bonded us... but those things. 'Yon ang hindi mo nakita kay Gino, kaya hindi mo 'ko naiintindihan ngayon."

My emotions are mingling again, and I can't keep my gaze to one side. When I heard that, my thoughts and emotions were filled with rage once more. When? When did I ever see him being genuine? Yes, he did make me feel that way, but was it all true?

"I'll never forget how you told him I was leaving Cebu, Bea," I said coldly.

"'Yan... 'yan 'yong sinasabi ko sa 'yo. May galit ka pa rin sa kaniya-"

"Who wouldn't?" I interrupted her. "I told you everything. Hindi ba 'yon enough para paniwalaan mo 'tong galit ko?"

"Kaya ka ba umalis dahil sa kaniya?"

"No!" Bea's thought made me stand up. "How many times do I have to say that I can't stay there anymore, alam mo kung gaano ka-miserable ang buhay ko ro'n!"

She stared me in the eyes as if she was checking to see if I was telling the truth. She crossed her arms and stood next to me and after a while, her gaze fixed on the fountain.

Bumuntong-hininga ako para pakalmahin ang sarili. Humawak ako sa railings at napayuko. Kahit sampung taon na ang nakalilipas ay masyado pa rin akong apektado kapag pinag-uusapan ang bagay na iyon.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya. "Ano? Okay ka na ba?" she asked me if I'm ready to talk again without getting emotional.

I nodded and turned to face her. I turned my back on the railings and leaned against them. "I'm sorry."

She smiled at me and tapped me on the shoulder. "I have never regretted my decision. Without Cashmere, especially without my kids, I wouldn't be content with my life."

Nilingon ko si Bea at doon ko nakita ang magandang ngiti niya habang pinagmamasdan ang kambal. I can clearly see the happiness in her eyes, as well as how content she is with her life and has no regrets.

She sighed and looked at me. "Alam kong hindi mo magugustuhan 'tong idea ko. Sorry, but I think you need to see him."

My eyes were filled with questions as I looked at her. "W-Why? For what?"

"You left full of questions, didn't you? And there's still unfinished business to both of you." She raised an eyebrow at me. "You must settle these."

Umiwas ako ng tingin at napatutok ang mga mata ko sa sahig. I was thinking about what Bea had said to me. I remained silent for about a minute. If I do that, am I doing the right thing? Is it appropriate for us to meet again? I don't think I'm ready yet.

Naputol ang katahimikan ko ng tapikin ako ni Bea. "Sa bahay mo na pag-isipan 'yan at sana gawin mo, Yshawn."

I agreed by nodding. I was still thinking about it till dinner. I became nervous as I went deeper and deeper. Wala pa man ako sa sitwasyon ay ganito na ang nararamdaman ko, paano pa kaya kapag nandoon na?

While at the table, I was dumbfounded when I thought of that and Bea noticed it. It scared the shit out of me when I heard her shout! Tumawa lang siya nang tumawa habang nararamdaman ko naman ang pagkairita ko... Dahil tuloy doon sa sinabi niya ay hindi ako makapag-focus.

"Bye, Caden... Brianna..." I said my goodbyes to the twins after dinner. I warmly hugged each of them, and the best part was that they sweetly kissed me on both of my cheeks. "I love you..."

Pagkatapos ng mahabang pagpapaalam ay naglakad na ako palabas ng bahay. Sumunod ang kambal at masayang kumakaway pa ang mga ito sa akin.

"Babye na ulit kayo kay Tito Shawn ni'yo..." Bea instructed the twins.

"Bye-bye... Love you..." Caden said with a snort and that made me laugh.

I couldn't agree more. Who wouldn't be happy if their children were this lovely and cute?

"I hope this time makikinig ka na sa 'kin shuta ka." Bea jokingly punched my arm after I opened the car door.

"Pag-isipan ko." I smiled a bit.

"Dapat lang, 'no! Saka, seryoso ako do'n sa kasal!" 

I rolled my eyes when she brought it up again. "That won't happen."

"Ay?" Napahawak siya sa kaniyang dibdib.

I got into the car and started the engine.

I peeked at Bea outside. "And please it's not right to think that because we have a penis we can marry a woman. I'm pure gay, Bea."

She knows how challenging things have been for me being gay, so she expects me to change. She keeps telling me that since long-term relationships between people of both sexes are rare, I should just look for a woman to love and marry. But it's not that easy for me, wala na akong pag-asa sa sinasabi niya na mayroon pa.

When I got home, I quickly took a shower to clean my body. Before going home, I had gone straight to the pub to meet with my future business partner. We had a simple discussion about our plans while enjoying a few drinks. The pub was quite crowded with many strangers, and I could feel my body becoming sticky. To freshen up, I gave myself a good rub-down.

After taking a shower, I used a blow dryer to dry my hair. While I was fixing up, my phone suddenly turned on and I immediately read the message. It was a simple text reminding me to attend the party. It's the grand opening of his first-ever fashion line, and the party will take place at Okada Manila. He doesn't want me to miss that special day.

"Nag-start na 'yong ribbon cutting, ah? Nakita mo na?" I laid down my pen and turned away from the computer to face her. Nasa loob ng office ko si ate Carra at ang dahilan lang niya ay gusto lang tumambay rito saglit at makipagchikahan sa akin.

Humaba ang nguso ko habang sinisilip ang hawak niyang phone. "Ah. Hindi pa."

"Nasa IG. Wait," sabi niya at hinanap iyon kaagad. She got to her feet after finding the photos and came over to show them to me. 

I took a close look at the phone when it was placed in front of me. He held the ribbon with a broad smile. He was dressed in a black suit with a silver necktie, and his specs matched well with him. He also had his business partners with him in the photo.

When Ate Carra slid the photos, I saw another picture of him. He was leaning on his dashing car with his little hair down over his brow and the shape of his physique and biceps exposed while his suit was hung over his shoulder... I admit that he's pretty hot here.

"Oh, 'di ba?" Inalis na niya sa mga mata ko ang phone niya at bumalik sa pagkakaupo. "Ang gwapo! May balak ka bang sagutin 'yan?"

Napangiwi naman ang mukha ko sa sinabi niya. 

"My top focus is my career," I replied and then resumed my work.

"My top focus is my career..." she mocked my words. "Hoy! Sa kaka-focus mo mauunahan ka. Tingnan mo naman 'to, oh! Gwapo, may share sa company nitong kuya niya. CEO ngayon ng bagong fashion line and above all, mahal ka."

"Uy!" I seem to have been affected. "Didn't I say that there's nothing between us? We're just friends."

"Sinabi mo sa 'kin noon na nag-confess siya sa 'yo." Pinagtaasan niya ako ng kilay.

"And so?" So was I.

"Then parati ka niyang sinasama sa paalis-alis niya, wala ring pinagkaiba 'yon sa nagliligawan."

Nagkamali yata ako sa pagkwento sa kaniya ng mga ganoong bagay. Parati niyang sinisingit sa usapan na may something sa aming dalawa.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. "Okay." I got up and set my table. I approached her and handed her the completed report papers. "I finished the paper and got ready to go since, as you said, I had a date."

Kinuha ko ang messenger bag ko at sinukbit iyon sa balikat. I brush up the sleeve of my polo to check the time and notice that I still have a few minutes to go to the party. Nagmamadali akong lumabas ng office.

"Ay sus..." Narinig ko ang boses ni Ate Carra sa likuran ko. "Sige, ingat. Enjoy kayo sa date!"

The team turned to me and I saw them whispering and laughing. Napaismid na lang ako at hinayaan iyon. As I stepped out of the building, a commotion caught my attention. The medical team was rushing to rescue someone in need of immediate attention. However, due to the crowd, they could not reach the patient and had to move them aside.

The episode resurfaced in my mind while the medical team was handling the injuries. I was with Gino when, while we were walking down to the park, someone asked for assistance because a child had eaten something. He was choking.

Even though I was just a nursing student before, I responded quickly. I can't express how thrilled I was to be able to help, and Gino was even happier than I was. I thought I'd never want to be full-fledged to be a nurse again, but focusing on what I've witnessed today, it appears... I'd want to return to this field.

I still remember that Gino couldn't believe that I had done that. As he ruffled my hair, I could see the proud in his eyes. He even mentioned that he felt really lucky to have me as his boyfriend, a student nurse boyfriend to be exact. Natutuwa siya dahil bukod sa kaya niya akong ipagmalaki kahit wala akong kakayahan ay higit pa roon ang naramdaman niya... since I had it.

"Ang galing talaga ng baby ko," I said weakly and that was the phrase he uttered that day. Napatingin ako sa salamin at pinagmasdan ang sariling repleksyon, there are beads of water running down my face. Tumalikod ako bago sinabunutan ang sarili. "Shit!"

I kept cursing under my breath. I have adjusted to this place. I have been living in this place for some time now and have learned the customs and traditions, but I just can't seem to learn to forget him. I groaned at that thought. I took the towel from my side and wrapped it around my bottom before leaving the bathroom.

Minadali ko na ang pagbibihis at nilibang ang sarili sa paraan ng pakikinig ng kanta, nilakasan ko pa ang volume niyon na halos ikabasag na ng eardrums ko. Nang matapos sa ginagawa, I gave myself a final once-over in the mirror before stepping outside of the condo and heading to the event.

I simply gave the guards my invitation when I got to the venue, and they just let me in right away. Inside, I noticed that many guests were standing and chatting at various tables, giving the impression that the party had yet to begin.

As I turned to look around, I soon noticed the man. He was chatting with the guests at the next table, and I'm sure they were well-known businesspeople, actresses and actors, models, and politicians.

Nang mapalingon siya sa akin ay agad na nagliwanag ang mukha niya. He waved at me and I smiled back. He talked to the guests, and after, I saw them turn to face me. The last thing I witnessed was him saying goodbye to them and approaching me.

"Hi, Yshawn!" He gave me a big smile as a greeting. When he touched the strip of my hair on the forehead, I simply grinned at him and raised an eyebrow. He fixed it and looked me in the eyes. "You're so attractive tonight... No, I mean, not only tonight... always."

I just laughed a bit. "You always put conciliatory words at the end just to save your sentence, huh?"

"I guess that's what it should be?" He smiled at me while amusingly waggling his brows many times.

I saw his cheeks get red as he lowered his head and put his hands in his pockets. He laughed gently and turned to face me. Napailing na lang ako sa kapilyuhan niya at napaupo na rin kami nang magsalita ang MC sa harapan. Nang makaramdam ako ng pagkauhaw ay nilingon ko ang baso ko sa harapan at kinuha iyon. 

Napansin ko naman na malalim ang pagkakatitig ni Prince sa akin habang umiinom ako ng tubig, and he was looking right at my chest. My long sleeve polo was actually unbuttoned, revealing the edges of my chest.

"Bagay ba?" He awoke soon, and it seemed that I surprised him. Natawa naman ako.

"W-What?" He stammered and I again observed the redness of his cheeks. He laughed a little bit. "I'm sorry."

I grinned and shook my head. "I said bagay ba?" I waggled my brows to point to my newly cut hair. I pouted. "Ang mahal ng binayad ko sa barbero."

Tumango siya pero napapansin ko na hindi niya mapigilang mapabaling ang tingin sa dibdib ko. Should I button them up?

"It really looks fine on you, Yshawn." He smiled anxiously.

Napangiti na lang ako at ganoon din siya. Binutones ko na lang ang polo ko. When we heard the singer speak, our gaze was drawn to the stage. The party didn't start straight off since the band's vocalist was late arriving at the venue. Kaya tama lang din ang dating ko kahit late ako ng ilang minuto.

Kitang-kita ko siya dahil hindi naman ganoon kalayo ang distansya namin sa stage. She was wearing a red dress at bumabagay sa kaniya ang nakalugay niyang buhok sa suot niya. She was so lovely as she was seated on the stool. And the light was positioned on her, she appeared to be a dazzling star shining brighter than any of those.

"She resembles a ruby in the sky." I turned to face Prince as soon as I heard his remark. He smiled at me. "Summer, she's my friend's ex," he said in a hushed tone as if it was against the law to reveal.

I nodded slowly. "She looks familiar to me." I have a strong feeling that I have seen her before.

"Oh? She was our guitarist back then, but alas she had graduated by the time you came."

"Really?" I recall that the former guitarist of the band back then at my high school was a girl, but I don't know her name, and I can't recall her face either. "I think I know her."

"Everyone knows her, so I guess you, too?" He raised a brow, waiting for me to recall it. "Her last performance with us was on La Gran Fiesta, anniversary ng school, and at that time-"

"May umakyat na babae sa stage at sinampal ka." I continued with what he was about to say.

Napaawang ang bibig niya. Naalala ko pa ang kwento ng mga estudyante tungkol sa kaniya at noong babae na patago silang naghahalikan sa likod noong office ng principal. At pati pagkatapos ng event noong English Month, they even made a mess behind the stage.

He could not look at me as he grabbed his chin. "That was a long time ago."

"I know." Napalingon siya sa akin at tinawan ko lang siya. Umiling ako. "Ang bangis mo."

"Stop..." Nahihiya naman siya. "Nagbago na 'ko."

"I know..." Nagtama ang mga mata namin at maya-maya pa ay sabay kaming napangiti sa isa't isa.

I simply shook my head and turned to face the stage once again. It was then that I remembered her. I couldn't deny the beauty of her voice as she sang. Up until that point, she had only played guitar for the band, so I had never heard her sing before. That's why my reaction was in surprise.

Nang matapos ang pagkanta niya ay may lumapit na lalaki sa kaniya at may kung anong inabot dito. Ang narinig ko na lang ay dedication song iyon mula sa magkasintahan sa kabilang table at walang pag-aatubiling kinanta niya iyon. As far as I know model iyong babae at kilalang artista naman iyong lalaki.

As I watched the couple enjoying the song, I suddenly felt a heavy weight in my chest. Memories resurfaced in my mind, tearing at my heart. I was transported back to a time when Gino and I used to sing in the park.

"Why did she stop?" Napalingon ako kay Prince nang marinig ko ang sinabi niya. 

Sinundan ko ang mga mata niya na nakatingin doon sa stage. I saw the woman's surprised expression. The air was filled with murmurs and wonder. Hindi siya makagalaw sa kinauupuan niya at namumugto pa ang kaniyang mga mata.

Kinausap na siya noong backing vocalist pero hindi siya kumibo, nakita ko na lang na napailing ito at siya na mismo ang nagpatuloy sa pagkanta. Nang matapos ay agad na bumaba ng stool ang babae para humingi ng dispensa sa ka-banda niya at sa guests. Nagmamadali siyang bumaba ng stage at umalis ng venue. 

"What happened?" I asked Prince.

Prince was about to answer my question but was interrupted when we both turned to the man who stood up suddenly, nasa harapan lang namin siya. He walked toward the direction from which the woman had exited.

"Ggohn," Prince called his name but he didn't even look back.

It wasn't until the performance ended that I discovered the truth. The man who hurriedly got up and followed the woman was, according to Prince, he is Summer's ex. I didn't ask for any other details about them, such as their 'personal' details.

Nagpaalam lang ako saglit kay Prince na pumuntang comfort room dahil kanina ko pa pinipigilan ang ihi ko. Habang kaharap ang salamin at inaayos ang buhok ay naramdaman ko ang pag-vibrate ng phone ko sa bulsa. When I noticed that the number was unregistered on the screen, I frowned.

[Good evening, my dearest brother.] I heard a soft but blood-curdling voice on the other line.

Napasandal ako sa sink. "A-Anong kailangan mo?"

My entire body heated for no reason.

I heard him crack up. [You know me well, huh? Okay,  I'll tell you now... I need money, you know, it's still a bit difficult for me to find a job. So please have mercy and lend me one hundred million.]

"Ano?!" I frowned. "That's too much, Kuya Yvan!"

[Too much?] I could hear his sarcastic voice. I can see the anger on his face even if he isn't right in front of me. [You don't really owe anything, do you? You have no shame. You owe me! Maybe you forgot, I helped you when you were just a fucking bug here in Manila!]

"Here we are again with your utang na loob, Kuya!" My jaw clenched. "Tapos na, nabayaran ko na lahat! Akala mo ba hindi ko malalaman na ninakawan mo 'ko no'ng hinayaan kitang tumira sa condo ko?! Hindi ako tanga, Kuya Yvan!"

[Fuck you! Fuck you!] he shouted. [Hinahanap na ako ng mga pinag-utangan ko, and if anything bad happens to me, I'll blame you to my grave! And I'll make sure that Dad will know that!]

"K-Kuya?" I'm in tears and I don't know what to do.

He shushed me. [Just do what I want, please... Don't worry, I'll pay you back. I promise.] His voice suddenly softened. [Okay, it's settled. I'll go to your condo tomorrow my, baby.]

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita hanggang sa naputol na ang tawag. Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko at pinipigilan ang pag-iyak. Hindi ako makapaniwala na magpahanggang ngayon ay tatatak pa rin ang takot ko sa kanila. I'm a grown man, but I still fear them!

Dad, the two of them put me through a lot of pain. They taught me how to be fearful and vulnerable. And it just hurts to think that it will live inside me until I'm old... I'm still struggling to overcome that trauma... I'm still not healed.

Nanghihina akong lumabas ng comfort room at napapahawak pa ako sa pader para alalayan ang sarili. I couldn't stop my emotions and catch my breath. I was still crying from fear. When I reached the garden after leaving the venue, I saw Prince. He looked shocked when he saw me.

"Yshawn-" Hindi na niya natapos ang pagsasalita niya nang walang pag-aatubili ko siyang yinakap. In his chest, I sobbed. I felt his hug as one of his hands caressed the back of my head. "It's okay, it's okay... I'm here, I'm just here."

"N-Natatakot ako..." My mind is racing, and many pictures are flooding in. It's so messed up and disturbing. "Sasaktan nila ako... I-I know... I know..."

"No, no, no... I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe here, I'll make sure of that." His lips touched the top of my head.

I felt his warmth and he made me feel secure in his arms.

*****