Hello, Back with an update. Thanks for all the loving responses.

Please ignore any errors and typos found.

Happy Reading.

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Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs;

Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears;

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Hell is one thing and living in it, is another. For the next few days, Sanskaar was in one.

A stinging slap had been her answer. And she left the very next day, Kavita walked in with news and an accusatory glance implying 'it's you'. Then Laksh who confessed about liking Swara as a friend and felt she didn't deserve such rude treatment.

"What's wrong with you bhai? You have never been this way?"

Because he never fell in love before.

He chose silence both times. It was only Annapurna who read her son's heart. A sane part forbade him from pursuing her. Instead, he turned to those shared moments, clung to them. No place offered him solace rather intensified the pain of loss ...

One night, he ended up at the same place, watching the shadows of silhouettes play in his eyes of 'them'.A moment shared and lived. It only reminded him of what he couldn't have - 'Her'. He sank with a loud cry ... her name echoing across his heart and the empty streets... and the sky opened up with tears.

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It was after 3 months, he ended up at her place, longing for a glimpse - just a glimpse - perhaps the last and few answers. He found her framed in the sunset as if by some cruel twist of fate, she was waiting there for him. He took it all at once, varied emotions reflecting in her features...

It took all his strength still he couldn't stop himself from gathering her in his arms - The ache felt soothing as breathing that sweet scent of her being- He comforted himself with a moment of illusion. It ended quickly- at the first twitch of her struggle. "Don't-" he rasped. "Please... let me hold you for a moment. Just a moment."

Perhaps it was the raw agony in his voice, that he felt her shudder, inhale before she went still - completely - and allowed him the moment he begged for. He held her closer, trying to bury his weary heartbeat against hers claiming the moment for himself.

It would let him live ... for a while, he held onto it with his entire being. And when he spoke, his voice came muffled against her hair.

"Did you even for a moment imagine yours forever with me, Swara?" He finally gathered up to ask. A long, lingering silence had been his reward. He watched her hopefully, for a mere glance betraying her heart, but none came.

He felt it, a catch of heart breath - a slight falter and then a rapid fluttering - her pulse racing beneath his fingers and tears lingering at the corner of those lashes. A little hope lighted up in his eyes. "For once, Swara did you feel something for me in all those moments we shared? If we hadn't met the way we did... would you have loved me? Would you?" The fluttering hope refused to die.

Please give me an answer, his eyes pleaded.

Her eyes brimmed with tears and her voice choked, at least he thought so, but her answer was something he had known, despite the mad hope that led him to her door.

No!

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WHAT IS PAIN?

A simple reminder of someone - loved and lost

Or

An ocean of unknowable depths, swift currents

Sweeping you in

Swara Bose had no clue of both until she walked out of his life.

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She waited till he was out of her sight and her legs no longer held the ground. She crumbled down, her stifled sobs now turning into a cry of agony. She had no more strength to fight against her heart, her every defence washed away in those salty tears. She made a picture of grief, loss and devastation.

"If you love him so much why don't you tell him, Shona?" She neither had to turn back at her mother's voice nor understand, she had been witness to the entire scene. Drawn to her mother's touch, Swara sought comfort in her hands. The pain felt too much to take... every new tear burning through her heart.

"I wish maa, I wish ...I could tell him.."

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Swara had always been a simple girl, from a down to earth family. Until her rich uncle turned on their doorstep one day she had no idea her parents had left an entire love story on their wake. She had been too small to understand then, but it had sort of settled in her, sharpening into a dream of her own as she drew up and understood the weight of her father's choice. Love above all else.

When she visited Kavita this summer she had no special kindling of finding anything but the joy of her best friend and cousin's company. But then - she stumbled into him and drowned all at once in his eyes.

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Everything changed when he came into my life

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You are fine! A clear assuring tone.

She opened her eyes gently, met him and gazed at him in wonder. She would save 'handsome' for some other time, but it was his eyes with those long impossible lashes captivated her. Eyes which can't hide a word. Open, honest and warm.

With broad shoulders, strong arms, a sharp nose, chiselled jawline and the short and sleek hair tailored to perfection, it was easy to imagine him as a fictional hero, walking out of a story to your rescue. He looked like 'one'

Before she could spin further theories, He was introduced to be Sanskaar Maheswari. Kavita mentioned him a few times. Her last recall was at the news of the engagement. Kavita denied being in love, had no qualms admitting it was only because they thought it was a safe bet.

"Love? Maybe or Never."

Maybe? The word troubled Swara. For someone like Swara, leading a life without love is a no! But it was her cousin's choice and she had no say in it. Now watching Sanskaar standing right before her, one thing was clear.

He was forbidden

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Can I go forward when my heart is here?

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Had it been mind that dealt in cards of love, Swara would have darted away from Sanskar as soon as she received the first sip of reality.

Not hers - she had known.

But still, heart dealt it's cards on the sly, hardly keeping her in the loop, breathing a word of it's growing warmth that sparkled - sizzled, pulling her irresistibly towards him. She carved his company, his friendship - the understanding he seemed to give without asking for. And her heart, cherished in romantic fantasies since infancy allowed him to seep too far in.

Then came that night.

It was the moment, her heart found a voice in his as her breath. His eyes, a mirror of her own. A beat for beat and a breath for breath all mingled into one.

Like it was meant to be

They were meant to be.

The thought ... the memory made her shudder. Half in delight, half in crawling shame. Had his ring not brushed against the back of her palm, a cold and heavy reminder of what she was doing - she was all but lost in his eyes - lost in thousands of forevers their depths, the delicious secrets his breath seemed to trail across her skin - lost to reason - simply and utterly.

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And his indifference. The hurt, she felt when he didn't want her around. She wished for once he would listen to her. It felt wretched, how even when he tried to make it so clear that he hated her - her eyes kept drawing themselves towards him...almost unconsciously. She sighed and closed her eyes, thinking of Kavita- she reminded herself.

But instead of her beloved cousin, she ended up thinking of one particular moment when Sanskar had hugged Kavita- worry brimming in his eyes and maybe love too. The hurt was palpable. It was one of those nights, the night of the anniversary, when Sanskar chose to remind her again, how shallow she had been wrapped up in her cloud castle and she demanded answers.

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Because- I love you

The confession left her shaken, each word striking deep it felt hard to breathe. She felt threatened by the intensity in his eyes, something she had known but never acknowledged, something she didn't see coming that night.

The heartbeats, tears and the love screaming in his eyes, question of right and wrong, each wave of emotion, a new reality that arrived uninvited. She felt torn between conflicting emotions, scared she would give in to his love ...it was in her defence, her hand met his cheek and she fled ....

And she had been running since then...

The bubble dazzling so brilliantly, blown and broken - here she was gathering the pieces at her favourite place which offered no peace.

She was hanging up there one moment, shattered on the ground the next - The lines of a book popped into her head all of a sudden - I don't know when it began, I was in the middle before I knew -. Red-hot tears ran down her face at heart-wrenching reality

Not hers! Never hers!

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O teach me how I should forget to think

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Months passed. Living felt like a chore yet she carried on with it. The pain still felt raw and fresh, each memory slicing through her every time she thought of him and she willingly paid the price for the sin of falling in love at the wrong time.

She lost her touch with Kavita. A conscious decision. Never replied to emails and calls and didn't glance at Roy's wedding card when it arrived, after a few more months. She meddled enough already, she didn't have any right.

An unexpected visit by her cousin came as a shock. It was one morning Kavita barged in much to everyone's surprise.

"Why don't you answer my calls, Swara? And you didn't even attend the wedding. I have been bragging to him about our friendship and you decided to ditch me on my most important day. Not fair!" She told with absolute seriousness making her displeasure evident.

"Aisa Nahi hain, Kavita.." Swara tried in vain. Guilt or pain, she had no clue, she couldn't speak beyond that.

"Main khud aati invite karne, lekin everything happened so quick. Time hi Nahi Mila. But I got him here."Kavita declared.

Swara froze. He's Here?

"I had to convince him a lot. Maan hi Nahi Raha tha!" Kavita's next words were a faint hum. She was not prepared for this. Not yet or she would never be.

"I cant ...I don't want to ..." she bit back those words with supreme effort Only till he walked in.

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He did what was right! And Sanskaar had no qualms. It would have been his decision irrespective of her answer. Breaking the engagement. Questions, accusations came from all sides, but he was answerable only to Kavita. And he gave her all the answers but one!

"It will be a momentary hurt Kavi, Forgive me. But you deserve someone better. A heart which loves you. Not me! You are precious to me Kavi, as is your friendship. Anything else beyond that...will be unfair. I am sorry if I caused you pain, but you will thank me one day."

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It wasn't Sanskaar... who walked in. 'Sahil,' Kavita introduced. And with a thudding heart, Swara listened to her every word, that how Sanskaar called off the engagement.

"I felt mad at that moment, Swara. I was hurt because it came so suddenly. I knew there was never love, yet I felt bad. Because everything was planned and set. I thought I would never forgive Sanskaar, but I was wrong.

Then she went on to explain how he met Sahil at one of the family parties ...More time she spent with him, the more she realised what love was. Something she never felt with Sanskaar.

"I could believe our stupidity that I and Saskaar were hinging all our life on the possibility of falling in love which would have never happened. If not for Sanskaar and his decision I would have never met 'Sahil' I didn't even realise Swara. It all happened so quickly. We kept meeting each other and every minute felt wonderful.

My heart vouched for him ...and Sahil felt the same. He knew about me and Sanskaar. And he didn't have a problem. And you know what! He even thanked Sanskaar at our wedding. I did too. He was right. He saved me from a lifelong hurt of being in a loveless marriage.

Oh! I so wished for you to be there! Laksh and Annapurna aunty kept asking about you... but you never came." Kavita completed and turned to Swara only to find her in tears.

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The Ache That Would Not Leave

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He waited for her during the wedding with a lingering hope. But she never showed up. He should have known.

And He left. It felt too painful to hang around when everything reminded him of 'Swara'. His library, Music, a raindrop, a chilly breeze, the sound of the anklet or a smile ... She was everywhere. The only consolation was of Kavita finding her love and the guilt of burden was freed.

But he had been a fool. A fool in love. A fool in pain, still holding onto those precious pieces pricking him drawing blood little by little, yet he held them close. He wouldn't stop loving her ... it was a conscious willing price he chose to pay.

He didn't have any regrets for falling in love with the right person. 'Only if time had been right,' was all he wished at times of despair as months rolled on.

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He would have never come back if not constant pressure from Kavita to attend her baby shower. He couldn't say 'No', not when she vouched on their friendship. And his mother's silence at the end of every call.

The question she never asked. "When are you coming back?" He has no right to hurt them but he had no clue either when and where to stop. He had been running too long.

He needed a break.

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All the happy faces around. Sanskaar smiled. A little love felt good. He didn't ask for her and didn't look for her. She wouldn't be here! Not in his presence.

He excused himself and walked away from the crowd.

"You know stars and the Moon always fascinate me. Watching them gives me 'sukoon". Her words. He stood watching the same sky scattered with stars, sparkling down and wished for some peace to settle on him. He hoped she would be watching the same sight elsewhere.

Sanskaar!

And he turned still at the voice.

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If I am a part of your dream, you'll come back one day.

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There's no way he could have mistaken her voice. He felt it was a dream first, a hallucination he lived long enough. One day she would come to him Take his name, hold his hand...and

"Mere taraf dekhoge bhi nahi."

His breath felt choked ... Oh! Only if she knew. He would give away all his life for one glimpse of her, but he felt scared. To have wings but not touch the suñ, he realized would be exquisite torture - to see her so close and then to realize the distance now between them - not physical perhaps but wrought by time and fate - would never be crossed. To see her and to know that she had moved on, a confirmation that he was alone in his suffering - would truly end him.

He could have walked away, if not for her taking his name.

"Dont's Swara! Please don't " he pleaded "Main jaa Nahi paunga."

" Tho Mat jao"

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Kavita first had no clue who sanskaar fell in love with not until she watched Swara in tears. And it didn't take much time for her to decode.

It was you! She took in the shock and cursed for being so blind all these months.

Of course, It was after Swara's visit that things have taken a new turn. How could she not know? It was no rocket science to decode they both loved each other. Tears had been enough proof as pain in Sanskaar before he left.

They didn't have to say. They both have chosen 'her' above their love.

Oh! Poor Swara and Sanskaar suffering on her account. It's time they get their happy ending too. It was part of her plan to make them face each other and all needed being the right opportunity. Her Baby shower.

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It would have taken no time for Swara to rush back to Sanskaar, but she chose not to. Not after all the suffering, she inflicted upon him. How convenient it would sound just because Kavita was no longer in the picture. Would she ever be able to tell him, she loved him with all her heart yet couldn't act upon it. How her 'No' has finished them

It was his love for her which led him away from his loved ones. Would she forgive herself for this? ... And she chose to wait as her penance, even if it takes a lifetime. Even if he would never come back!

But he did! And she would open her heart to him and willingly oblige his decision.

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I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours forever.

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The dream continued ... when she stepped up to him, held his hand. His every beat seized at the very moment. And he thought he would die just at sight of their joined hands.

She didn't say much, she couldn't find words.

"I ...I lied that day...the day you came ...I thought...Sanskaar... I .."She tried her words breaking into pieces, Oh! How could she tell him, show him? And she felt robbed of all words. "I am sorry ... I was.. .." She couldn't hold any longer, simply curled against him and cried. "Don't go.. Don't..."

The first tear broke free from his eye, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. And he cried while holding her as close as he could ...This time for a different reason. The sheer joy of being loved.

"Never...Never" His lips murmured soothing promises, again and again, heart against heart, breath against breath ...lips against lips all mingled into one.

'Them' - Swara and Sanskaar.

And it was a promise of forever ...

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The wait ended that night. His heart no longer was parched, dried earth waiting for the first drop of passion. That night, Her love rained on him.

And Love blossomed.

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There ends the story. Hope you liked it. Drop a word and star, if you did. Epilogue? Hmm ..If the response is good!

Love

Lucky