.seventy nine.

-

"It hurts so much to be left behind like that."

-

It was becoming something of a habit for Janmi to stand on a hill outside the tenth prince's home. From that spot, she could see into the backyard of the house, and she could see the family of five now spending time together outside. The five of them with smiling faces, the perfect family, with another one on the way. Jangmi couldn't help but roll her eyes at the fact that their only worry as a royal family was probably producing strong heirs which would potentially inherit the throne one day. They were oblivious to the outside world, their own people's struggles, much less the struggles of people were taken as slaves when the other nations fell. 

The princess thought about how that life could have been hers--perhaps if she had been smarter, or maybe even prettier. She could have been the one living a comfortable life with a man she didn't love, but who would be able to give her everything she wanted. She could have given the tenth prince better, stronger children. Children with royal blood from both of their parents. But he had rejected her to stay by his wife's side--a woman who was probably a burden on his life.

Jangmi didn't love prince Eun in the slightest, nor did she even really want to marry him. What she most felt in her heart was a deep jealousy that he was with Minji, someone Jangmi felt was inferior to her in every way. She wanted their life, and it was a life she would have had if her title hadn't been stripped from her. She was basically a slave now. Back in her country, she had mostly sisters, but even then she wasn't the first born. Her eldest sibling, her sister Sarang was the leader of the sisters, though she would never take the throne because she was a woman. Instead, the throne would be for the third born child, her brother Taeho, because he had been born male. Jangmi was third to last born, with only two more sisters who were younger than her. It was anticipated that she, like Eun, would never inherit the throne. She would live out her days calmly with her husband and their children. 

When Goryeo was able to defeat Baekje in the final battle, and her country had no more soldiers to defend itself, the soldiers of Goryeo stormed her family's castle. She remembered that fateful day because it was unusually gloomy for a summer day. Her parents had probably sensed it coming and had arranged for the family to hide out in the country side the next morning. But they didn't expect it all to happen so soon and to have their plans thwarted. 

It was the middle of the night when Jangmi heard a commotion outside. Then she heard the stomping of careless footsteps through the palace, the crashing of things falling to the ground left and right. She shot up from her bed and woke her two younger sisters--Areum and Sunhee. Each were one and two years younger than her respectively. She instructed them to get on the ground and the three moved the giant wooden dresser in the room to place in front of the door. They heard the screaming of their older sisters as soldiers did the unmentionable to them. The pained cries of their brothers as they were slain before the very eyes of the other siblings and servants. 

The footsteps had gotten closer now and Jangmi held her breath, standing closest to the opening and standing protectively in front of her sisters who were trembling behind her. One of the soldiers said to the others that there were probably people inside, but that he couldn't open the door. Soon, there were more joining him in pushing the wooden dresses out of the way. 

As they finally got inside the room, Jangmi's sisters started sobbing, knowing what awaited them. Jangmi shot out in front of them and dropped down on her knees, tears streaming down her face. "You can do anything you want with me, and I promise I will not fight. But please, please, don't touch my sisters." She begged and she could feel the hungry looks of the Goryeo soldiers as they looked her over. She was a princess, and she was beautiful, and they had yet not gotten their fill. Days out in the battle fields without their wives were difficult, and they had needs to fulfill.

Jangmi closed her eyes tight as she felt several pairs of hands grabbing at her. She didn't fight back, as promised. She only cried as the first soldier had his way with her. When she felt him pull away, she would never forget the stench of sweat, and her own blood, as she had been a virgin, and the pain in her lower body. She felt dirty, and used. But they had kept their word not to touch her sisters. As the second one climbed on top of her, she heard shouting coming from down the hall. This was a voice she did not recognize, and his footsteps got louder as he reached Jangmi's bedroom. 

He reached the entry way of the room and saw the mess before him--the soldiers surrounding a young princess who was on the ground with her night dress all torn up. Her sisters were in the room as well, crying their eyes out and terrified. Jangmi knew he was a general. His uniform was shiny and polished, with medals attached to it. He was young, younger than all of the soldiers in the room, yet they all froze in palpable fear when he entered the room. The soldier hovering above her shaking body jumped off her in and instant and the first thing she could think to do was to cover her body with the pieces of her torn dress. 

She thought he would congratulate them on capturing the princess, she thought he would join them in their degrading of her, but she was surprised when he didn't. Instead, he yelled at them, "This is not what we're here for. We're here to claim this nation for his majesty King Taejo." The soldiers quickly got on their feet and straightened out. He continued with his scolding. "We aren't animals. How would you like it if this were your sister, daughter, mother? I have sisters who are princesses and I wouldn't want any man to even look at her in a dirty way."

"Yes, your majesty." The soldiers chanted in unison. 

He was a prince. 

Just like her brothers, and he knew what it was like to have sisters who were princesses. Though he was there to take over her nation, she was grateful that he at least had the decency to not want to hurt her or her sisters. 

"Take her with the rest of the prisoners of war." He gave them instructions and they only nodded in fear. "And if I see any of you hurting a woman or child, I will personally be the one to deliver a punishment. You all know well that I'm not very forgiving."

"Yes, Prince Han." They all said.

It was strange how now she had almost gotten involved with the tenth prince, and he was the older brother of the prince who had been there that night. He had been the one who basically saved her life, if only because he felt pity for her. She wasn't even sure if he even remembered her, since it had already been several years since that event. He had looked at her with so much pity, like she was a wounded animal. 

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw a figure moving in the trees inside the property of the house. It was the figure of the fourteenth prince who was sitting atop one of the trees by the edge of the stone walls that surrounded the properties. 

Prince Jung was watching Hak Soon, Eun, and the children in the garden just like Jangmi was. He watched on with jealousy, but it was a different type of jealousy than she had. His jealousy included resentment towards his brother because Eun had gotten the life that was supposed to be for him. Jung felt like Eun had taken everything from him. That should have been his wife, and his children. He would have been by their side and he would have been happy. Instead he was sitting miserably in a tree, watching them secretly and wishing he were the one there with them. 

From where Jangmi is standing, he spotted her and they lock eyes for an instant. His dark eyes widened in shock at the realization that he had been caught and he climbed down from the tree swiftly, never being noticed by the family inside the house. The princess followed him as he attempted to scurry off into the forest, trying to run out of sight. But she called out to him, voice sure that it was the fourteenth prince. "What are you doing here?" She asked, although she already knew. He was there to watch the family with resentment and jealousy, just like she was. He could easily ask her the same question.

Jung stopped in his tracks and heaved a sigh of defeat. He slowly turned to face her, face full of something she could easily read as shame and embarrassment. He had been caught watching his ex, the woman he was one day going to marry, but was never able to. He took a few steps towards her as he began to explain. "I'm allowed to come back home for a visit once a month."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "And you use that time to come watch your brother and his family?"

Jangmi had heard about their story--how the fourteenth prince had been set to marry the general's daughter, but she was instead married off to the tenth prince. Seemingly the fourteenth prince never got over it, while Park Hak Soon was now happy with her husband and their children. That was another thing Jangmi was jealous about. Park Hak Soon had two handsome princes fighting over her when she was only a general's daughter. She wasn't even a princess. 

"I visit my mother too, of course." The fourteenth prince was quick to defend himself. But it was mostly also a reassurance to himself, to fool himself into believing that he didn't nearly care about Park Hak Soon quite as much as he did. "But I also come here to see her and make sure she's well. The last time I saw her she looked so ill and frail." There was a pause of silence between them for a moment before he also confessed, "I also always hope my brother won't be there, so that I won't be reminded that she isn't mine."

The two stood by the edge of the forest now, but she silently gestured for him to follow her up the hill where she had been standing watching them as well. He followed her, and they sat on the hill, right in the view of everyone, but it didn't matter anymore. They had both been caught by each other, watching Eun and Minji. Anyone else who might spot them wouldn't think anything else of it that the fourteenth prince was seen with a woman. He was of marrying age already anyway, and it was expected that his eldest brother Wang Mu would arrange for him to marry a woman of a wealthy family.

As they sat together in the grass, Jangmi merely waited for him to speak. He clearly had a lot to get off his chest.

"I love her so much." Jangmi could feel the emotional pain in his voice. He really and truly loved her still. "She loved me too. But now she has fallen in love with him." The way he mentioned his brother was filled with so much poison, that Jangmi felt a chill run down her spine. She couldn't imagine what it was like to hate a sibling that much. She loved all of her siblings, and she especially took care of the two sisters that she had left. "It hurts so much to be left behind like that." He told her.

She started with a sigh, looking ahead at the stone walls of the tenth prince's home. "In some way, I feel for you." She though that she most envied Eun and Minji because it was exactly the same combination she and her love were. A prince and a general's daughter. But with her it was a princess and a general's son, who was a general himself. "I was going to marry a handsome general who I had known my whole life since childhood, you know. But when the wars started, he went off to fight for our kingdom, so that our nation would be free...He never came back." Her voice was strained as she began to choke up. But she never said his name because she feared that if she did, she would start crying. "I still miss him every single day."

It had probably also been why she had been so grateful for Wang Han that night. He reminded her of her love because he was young, and brave, and he was a good person who had spared her life. She knew that her soldier had probably been the same. He probably had compassion and spared many people. It was a shame that no one had done the same for him, since he had been slain on the battle fields.

"He probably thought of you until his very last moment." The fourteenth prince reassured her, glad that he was able to find solace in someone. He had always felt alone with his feelings. His father and brothers always told him to get over it, that he would find someone else.

But he didn't want anyone else.

He wanted Hak Soon. After all those years he still only wanted her.

There was another moment of silence between them until Jung finally spoke up. "Next time I come to visit...can I visit you too? And see how you're doing?"

The faintest smile touched her lips. "I'd like that."

-

a chapter with eun and minji only mentioned. 

im going to go shower and get ready now because im going out for icecream with my friends. i already have the whole rest of the story planned out in my notes, so i might type up another chapter later tonight before i go to work.

please stay tuned for the rest of  the story and i hope you liked this chapter. thank you loads for reading!

-clary