.sixty three.

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"Take care of Jinki and make sure he becomes someone healthy and strong. Someone we can all be proud of."  

-

Eun arrived home almost an hour later, annoyed that he had been held up so long at the palace. He stood uncomfortable by the gates, while the guards scrambled about nervously, telling him that the horses were being prepared. The same words they had been feeding him for over an hour. The tenth prince was so annoyed and wanted to leave the palace, that towards the end, he almost wanted to make them carry him home. But he though about his request and gathered that his wife wouldn't like that. While he had been raised to think that he was above the servants in every way, Minji always told him that it wasn't nice to treat people like that. A person was a person, no matter if they were a servant of the palace, or the king himself.

He walked up the small path that led to the house and a smile graced his lips as he saw his wife there. She was lying in the grass, seemingly taking a nap while waiting for him. The tenth prince walked up slowly, his sour mood from having visited the palace was dissipated with the very sight of her, and he was suddenly filled with the desire to cuddle up next to her. All of his worries melted away in that moment and he didn't think about the problems of the last few months--how he didn't want their child, how Minji was too weak to even care for their other two little ones, and how she was wasting away giving up her live for the child she had already even named. Jinki if it was a boy, and Eunji if it was a girl. She didn't tell him that she had chosen Eunji because it was a combination of their names--Eun and her real name Minji. Instead, she told him it was a name to match with Eunbi. 

Minji told her husband with excitement, despite seeing the disdain on his face, that she had a feeling their baby was going to be a boy. She often referred to him as Jinki. 

But as he got closer, he saw the pained look on her face and immediately knew something was wrong. He hurried to her side and knelt before her, grabbing her shoulders and trying to shake her awake. His words were whiny and shaking with worry for her health, something he attributed to the child she was carrying. His child. In some way, he also blamed himself for her misfortunes.

"My wife." He cried, cradling her in his arms. He could barely see the rise and fall of her chest as she took a breath, and that gave him some relief. He quickly then picked her up in his arms and carried her inside, noticing the wooden step was missing. He thought nothing of it, as he wanted to get her inside as soon as possible.

One of the maids saw him carrying his unconscious wife and bowed her head quickly, making an offer. "Your highness, shall I go summon the doctor?"

Eun could not hold his tongue and lashed out at her, blaming the maids for not having taken care of her properly. Though Minji was present, she was not conscious to subdue him in his anger. "I should have you whipped for your uselessness. I counted on you stupid maids to watch over my wife, to make sure she was well, and you couldn't even do that. The least you can do now is bring us her doctor." His dark eyes were now brimming with tears as he hurried past her, down the small hallway towards the bedroom. 

The tenth prince made it to the bedroom and laid her down on their bed, cupping her face in his hands as tears streamed down his face. "Please don't go without me." He whispered to her, placing wet kisses all over her face. "I don't want to live without you." He continued, pressing his forehead to her cheek as he continued to cry.

Minutes passed by before her eyes fluttered open, her dainty hands taking a hold of his which were still cupping her face. She felt the moisture of his tears staining her face and couldn't help but let a frown form on her lips. "What's wrong, love? Why are you crying?" She asked him with confusion, already having forgotten what happened to her earlier, and how he found her upon his return. It all came rushing back to her as a sharp pain shot from her pregnant belly that made her want to double over in pain. "Eun...what happened? Something's wrong with the baby. Get the doctor here, now." She cried out in pain.

"He's killing you..." Eun repeated the same words, now in a voice barely above a whisper. 

The same words which were ever full of resentment. He couldn't say he loved the child, or even remotely cared for it. The baby was killing his wife, and for that, he hated that baby. 

The pain had gotten to be so unbearable for her that she passed out in his arms, while they waited for the doctor to arrive. When he did, Eun begged him to do something, to help his wife because she was suffering and she wanted the baby to live. The doctor informed him that it was too late to do anything about it. The baby would be born, and from that birth, Minji would die. There was no way around it.

He prescribed something for the pain, which he claimed had been due to a fall she had probably suffered. In any other occasion it would have done nothing to her, but since she was weakened by her pregnancy, it bruised her knees and made her weaker. The child was perfectly okay, still feeding off her life force like a leech. But there was nothing seriously wrong with him. Eun couldn't deny that a small part of him hoped the baby would end up not making it, if only for his wife to continue living. 

-

Minji was stabilized thanks to the doctor's efforts and continued with her pregnancy. Her doctor instructed her not to get out of bed, but there came a point where she physically could not get out of her bed. She was emaciated, almost pure skin on bones. The only part of her that continued to grow as opposed to shrink was her belly, which she guarded zealously. She could not eat properly, or sleep, but she tried her best for her baby. Eun just watched her wasting away with resentment for their child. 

He would never forgive such a selfish act.

As the time for her to give birth approached, Minji had Eun bring her the twins. They were already a bit over one year old. Eun and Minji wanted to do something special, but ended up doing something small and intimate in the house because Minji couldn't even get out of bed for the occasion. Eun had showered them with presents and love, something Minji did as well. But it had all taken place in their bedroom. Eun thought bitterly how it was the one and only birthday they would celebrate with their mother, and it was all Jinki's fault. He would make sure to tell them that they had been left without their mother because of the selfishness of their youngest sibling.

The tenth prince sat the two children on either side of her, and they both cuddled up to her, desperately seeking her love. Desperately wanting to be held, just as he did. 

It had been so long, he loved her so much, but things were tense because he didn't want their child. Minji didn't want his love and affection as long as he was going to reject their baby. Sometimes on cold nights, she'd forget she was upset at him and let him hold her, or when she was just so tired or in so much pain that nothing mattered to her anymore. It happened more often than not lately. She was just too tired to continue being mad at him, even if he didn't want their baby.

"I know you two won't understand right now because you're young, so me talking to you about it now might be totally in vain." She started with a tired sigh. It was almost like she could barely even speak because she was just so tired. "But I want you to know that just because you might not see me again after a few months, that doesn't mean its anyone's fault--" She had been about to continue when she was stopped by her husband, he knelt by the side of their bed and placed a hand on her knee. 

His eyes, his expression, and even his voice were pained. "Don't tell them that, Hak Soon..."

She looked up at him, eyes glazed over with tears. "They should be prepared, and you should be prepared as well, Eun." Again, she called him by his name and it caused him to flinch. Sucking in something of a nervous breath to steel herself, she proceeded. "Your brother will live because I have wanted it that way, not because he's killing me." She shot her husband a look, since he was the one accusing the child everyday of being the parasite that was slowly murdering his wife. Minji didn't see it that way, she saw it as her choice, and she wanted the baby to live. She looked down lovingly at the twins sitting by either side of her. The two were currently busy playing in awe with the embroidered roses on the bed sheets. "Take care of Jinki and make sure he becomes someone healthy and strong. Someone we can all be proud of."

She finished by giving the children a kiss on the cheek, each of them giggling happily as her lips touched them. They were unsuspecting of what was coming. Unsuspecting that it was one of the last times they would ever see their mother alive and that even though they were only children, they should cherish it. 

A tear slipped out of her eyes when she reached for her husband next, and he eagerly climbed onto the bed with them. He picked up their little Eunbi in his arms and sat her on his lap, while Minji did the same with Soohyun. Eun yearned so badly for her to hold him, to touch him. They had been arguing for months already because Eun didn't want the baby and Minji couldn't let him go. They loved each other so much, but neither was willing to compromise, and it was slowly starting to eat away at their marriage. 

Minji balanced the baby on her lap and cupped his face in her hands, bringing him in for a kiss on the lips. "Love," She started, her voice forever growing more and more tired. "I don't want to argue with you anymore. I just want us to be happy and on good terms these next few weeks that I have left." She told him. The doctor had informed her that the baby was due in three more weeks, and that the tenth prince should start planning out everything for a funeral. The chances of her surviving were slim, and the doctor wasn't even sure if the baby would make it.

"I never wanted to fight with you, or make you feel bad." He said, his voice breaking with emotion.

"I know you don't want this baby--"

"Because he's killing you." He insisted. He knew that otherwise, he'd have been overjoyed to welcome their new child into the family. But his arrival meant that Minji would have to go and he didn't want that.

She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "Its my choice, love. How could I just sit here and let our baby die? He's a part of both of us."

Eun couldn't help but whisper bitterly, more to himself than to her. "All the bad parts apparently." And it wasn't because of her, but their doctor had informed him that he would be sickly. He wasn't strong enough. That meant that he had inherited all their weaknesses, just liked Soohyun and Eunbi had inherited all their strengths. The distribution was uneven, and the way Eun saw it, it wasn't worth it to bring into the world a baby who had all the disadvantages.

Minji chose to ignore his negative words and a small smile crept onto her lips. "You know," She informed him, matter-of-fact. "Despite everything, he still loves you. Whenever he hears your voice he'll move closer, as though wanting to hear you more clearly. And when you come to me in bed, he cuddles as close to your side as possible. How can you not want a tiny being that loves you so much?" Even then, that he was sitting next to her, she had felt the shift, how the baby had moved closer to her husband's warmth. Minji thought that the baby knew he wasn't wanted by his father, but he loved him anyway.

The tenth prince didn't know what to say. He had spent months creating this evil monster in his head and had never stopped to realize that it was just a baby. A baby that loved his mother, but also loved him. 

Her words moved him, and made him reflect that maybe waging a war against a child was unfair. But the resentment was still there, and he couldn't shake it off so easily.

-

yes, i did name that baby after jinki from shinee. mostly bc i love shinee and i love his name the most tbh. i think it sounds really cute and innocent. and then the other choice was eunji.

i know i haven't posted in a while, but last week my dad went to the hospital because he wasn't feeling well. so i had no mind or inspiration to write anything. i miss him. he's been in the hospital for about ten days alrelady and they keep saying he's gonna get out "tomorrow". but i'd rather they let him out whenever, as long as he's healthy.

let me know what you think of this chapter.

qotd: do you think minji will die? do you think the baby will die? or how about neither? i have several possible alternate timelines. i just havent decicded on a definitive one yet.

-clary