-• first kiss •-

I've always been fond of the time before the dawn. When everyone is asleep, the world is quiet. Everything is on the brink of a new beginning, but there's peace and acceptance for it. I wish to be as benevolent as every new day. The way it embraces all and still goes on, how can it never resent the things it witnesses and still submits before the dusk every evening?

"What are you thinking?" Janet asks groggily.

I blink, tearing my eyes off the twilight in the sky and looking down at my bestfriend. "I thought you were asleep,"

She hums, her voice throaty. "The cold woke me up." She wince, pulling up the thick blanket to cover her shoulders.

"Oh, sorry, I'll close the window." I quickly lean in and pull the windows close.

"Thanks," she whispers, opening the blanket to welcome me in the warmth. I slide in with a smile, resting my head on the comfy pillow before closing my eyes to the darkness in the room. "What were you thinking about?" She asks me after a while.

"What type of beginning do you like the most?" I question curiously.

She chuckles. "Your kind of normal conversations are weird to people, you know that?"

I turn to face her with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Remember in the art class last month, you asked me whether colors embrace each other to start something new, or to find something new?"

I nod. "It was a valid question." I justify. "When you wish to start anew, you try to forget all and turn over a new, blank page. But the desire to find something new comes from wanting to add another meaning to your life. I worded it in a way it would appear strange to the hearing ears. But I was associating the analogy with us, with the mortals."

"Humans," she stresses. "Say, humans, Tara. I maybe the fan of historical dramas, but you really sound like one from the history."

I blush. "Yeah, humans. I didn't want to generalize hence the word."

She smiles and places a hand on my cheek. "This is what I love about you. Your way of thinking."

My lips curl up in a grin.

"I know people exist with their own perspectives, but you give justice to that term." She sighs. "I'm going to miss you so much. Especially our weird talks."

I laugh slightly and lie straight, interlacing my hands on my stomach as I stare at the ceiling. "My question still remains unanswered,"

"The type of beginnings I like?" She copies my position. I nod with a hum. "Well, probably the one that starts after a happy ending?"

I smile. "Right, one that has no connections of unresolved conflicts stringing to it."

She hums in agreement to my words. "You answer the question now. What type of beginnings do you like the most?"

"The one that begins at my will," I answer and silence fall upon us. I inhale deeply, turning to face the closed window and cushion my head on my arm.

The bed rustles when Janet sits up, her hand reaching for me in the darkness. "Tara?"

I sniffle.

She leans over me to open the window. I close my eyes when the moonlight falls on my face, revealing me bare to her eyes. "Tara," she gasps witnessing the tears cascading down my face. Her iron like grip shackles my shoulders, forcing me to sit up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so scared." I murmur weakly. "One moment I feel relieved about having someone to lean on, the next my heart stutter in fear of making a mistake by trusting them. What if by trying to avoid the fate of an orphan, I'm plunging myself in the murky waters of a lost family?" I ask softly. "I can't guarantee their intentions towards me are sincere. I can't lose anymore than what I've already, Janet."

"Everything will be fine. They are public figures, Tara, yet they are here to take you back with them. Don't you think introducing yourself as a part of their family will result in an uproar, both socially and economically? But they are still here, they didn't turn their backs on you in times of need." She reassures me. "When you want to trust someone but are afraid of finding out if they are worthy of it, there is only one way to test them, and that is to trust them. Put your faith in them, Tara. Maybe they won't disappoint you."

I face the moon as it shines and glows in the starry sky, waiting for the sun to rise so it can fade back between the clouds.

"He is intimidating like the sun,"

"Who? Your father?"

I shake my head. "Yuvraaj." I answer. "I'm afraid living according to his will is the rule there."

"Did he say something?"

I look down at my knees. "He didn't have to say anything. His imposing personality does the talking on his behalf." I meet her eyes. "And to worsen my chances of getting heard, I'm a girl."

"Oh c'mon," she snorts. "What century are you living in, girl? It's a new, modern world. While I know we're still talking about equality, but at least, we're talking about it."

"He said the only way to step out of the house permanently is to get married." I tell her. "If that's not enough to hint at the limit of liberties I'll have there, then I don't know what is."

"The problem is, you're anxious, and anxiety is food to negative thoughts. So the more you think about it, the more it'll get worse. We should seriously catch some sleep. It's already five-fifty in the morning."

"Yeah, and that means we should not be thinking about sleep right now." I deadpan and get off the bed. Her face twists in agony for the untouched threshold of her sweet slumber.

"My beauty sleep," she slaps her hands on her cheeks. "Oh, what is this?" she touches the bump in between her brows. Her eyes snap to meet mine, horror replacing the sleep in them. "Don't tell me it's a......" She trails, horrified to complete the statement.

"Pimple." I smirk.

She flops on the bed eagle spread, her face buried in the pillow as she hits the sides aggressively. "This can't be happening to me! No! I can't go in front of your brother looking like this!" She cries out tragically.

I laugh in my hands. "As if you have any chance with him!"

"A girl can dream!" She raises her head fiercely, her long curls a battlefield of tangles. I snicker at her appearance. "Don't laugh!" She points a finger at me, wagging it at my face in a warning. I clamp my lips shut. "Also, what matters is the inside beauty, for its timeless. And my soul," she takes a dramatic pause and sucks in a sharp breath, her chest swelling in pride, hand pinched like the Italians.

"Is ugly." I pipe in unannounced, cratering her histrionic build-up to the ground.

She hits me with a pillow, causing me to burst out laughing. "Move, peasant," she pushes me aside. "I'm occupying the bathroom first. I need to pamper my sleep deprived skin." She saunters inside the bathroom.

My laugh reduces to mere chuckles as I shake my head at her retreating back. When the door of bathroom firmly closes, I decide it's time to pack my things. Thankfully, when I was in the hospital, Janet had moved my things from her brother's room to her.

I take the suitcase from the corner, zip it open on the bed and start stacking my stuff one by one in the compact space. By the time Janet is done with her morning routine, I finish my packing. She leaves the bathroom the moment I wheel my suitcase to the side of the door. Her eyes fall on it and the hand drying her hair slows down, a wistful expression triumphing the morning glow on her face.

She meets my eyes and forces a smile on her face. "Go and take a shower."

I nod, walking past her inside the bathroom.

It's six forty-five in the morning when we're finally done getting ready for the day. I dress comfortably keeping in mind the long flight I'll have to undertake in the evening. Janet ties my hair in a double dutch fish-tail braids and pulls out the baby hair on the side. I smile as she colors my cheeks rosy red and gives them a gentle glow of highlight. "Isn't this too much?" My eyes connect with hers through the mirror.

"Uh huh," she denies. "this is what we call no-makeup make-up look." She slaps her hands on my shoulders, looking at my reflection proudly. "You really are a princess," she rests her chin on the crown of my head.

I cup her hand on my shoulder and we share a smile through our reflections.

"Janet, Tara, time for breakfast, muffins!" Aunt Jenna announces from the living room.

Janet steps back, allowing me to get up from the ottoman. I grab my suitcase from the doorside and together we haul it down the staircase. Upon noticing our struggle, Uncle Garrett stands up from the couch, coming over to take the suitcase. He puts it in the foyer and returns to join us at the dining table. Aunt Jenna serves us bacon and rice, with sunny side omelette, freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk.

"Thank you for the food," I say in gratitude.

She ruffles my hair, passing me a huge smile before sitting down on her usual chair by her husband's side. Soon enough Elliot joins us for the breakfast.

"So, Tara, you gave us a scare last night," Uncle Garett looks at me with a teasing smile.

"It was her plan," I accuse pointing at my bestfriend.

She gasps. "You snitch!"

I chuckle with food in my mouth. The doorbell rings and my smile freezes. I sit straight as Uncle Garrett gets up to attend the door. I look over my shoulder and feel my stomach drop when Yuvraaj walks in behind him. After last night, I won't hesitate to believe I've disappointed him at great lengths. To my chagrin, this morning he appears nothing different. Our eyes meet and I quickly snap my head back to my plate, playing around with my food.

"Oh, it's so nice to have you here. Please join us for the breakfast." Aunt Jenna gets up from her chair. I clutch the end of my fork tightly.

My half brother indulges them in exchange of polite greetings.

"Tara?" Hearing the voice I haven't heard for a while, my hold on the fork loosens. I quickly get up from the chair and relax at the sight of our father. He walks over to me, his hand extending to rest on my head. "How are you, sweetheart?" He gently strokes my hair.

"I'm fine," I smile. "What about you? Did you have a good sleep?"

He hums in agreement, but his swollen eyes and hollow cheeks deny the same. "I did. But after hearing what happened last night, the distress I felt was incomparable. You shouldn't have done that, little star."

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to sneak out." I admit.

"The ones who admit their wrong-doings, in my eyes, are brave. Good job, little star. It takes great courage to accept you've wronged someone." He says to me. "Did you apologise to your brother? Because he was the one you wronged last night."

"People who know the difference between right and wrong, yet still have the courage to do wrong, in my opinion, are the most audacious and impenitent."

I break from the flashback of last night and nod, my gaze switching to the mentioned person. He meets my eyes, before looking at the back of our father, and his jaw clenches. I quickly tear my eyes off him, forcing a smile up at our father.

Aunt Jenna and Uncle Garett invite them for breakfast. My father accepts it hesitantly, complimenting the food served to him. Yuvraaj, on the other hand, sits himself on the other end of the table unwillingly, barely touching the food on his plate.

We leave the house after breakfast. Since we'll be going to the school first to withdraw my admission of this year and get the leaving certificate, I ask Janet to join me in the car. She obliges after my father says to not hesitate and her joins in with a nod of approval. The drive to the school is spent in absolute silence.

We get an audience even before we pass through the gates of the school. I look at the students gawking at us through the windows, feeling my stomach clench at the thought of stepping out to face them.

Yuvraaj halts the car in the parking lot and cuts off the engine. "Don't leave the car," he instructs me. I wait until he comes to my side and opens the door for me. I step out, smiling at my father who nods at me softly. Janet follows me out, clutching the strap of her backpack nervously.

"Everyone's staring at us," Janet whispers in my ear.

I take a look around the campus, seeing some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. Mellissa, the class monitor, catches my gaze first. I wave at her softly but she barely responds, her eyes wide in shock. I pull my hand down awkwardly.

Yuvraaj places his hand on the small of my back, nodding at me to follow his lead. I fall in the step after him, our father on my left as we walk inside the school hallway. Janet is forced to leave my side when the final bell rings and she hugs me tightly before departing with a small smile.

I'm told to wait outside the principal's office while the two processes my admission withdrawal. Time passes quickly. When the bell for short recess rings, students flood in the hallways, and indistinct chatters fill my ears.

I perk up when my father leaves the office. He smiles at me softly. "We're almost done. Your principal insisted he writes a recommendation letter for you so your admission back in India goes smoothly. He truly cares about you," he strokes my head. "He also complimented you a lot."

I blush slightly at all the praise being showered on me.

"If you wish to meet your classmates one last time, you've my permission. Just keep this phone with you so I can call you when we're done." I accept the phone handed to me and thank him excitedly before running in the direction of the staircase. "Careful!" He calls out after me. I regard my steps on the stairs with caution to make sure I don't lose my balance.

"Tara!" Janet chimes from her regular seat beside the window. I enter the class and plop down beside her, hugging her tightly.

"My father said I can meet you and my other friends until they are done," I relay with a smile.

"Oh, that's great!" She beams. "The teacher told us next lecture will be free and we'll have to self study. So you can wait here with me."

I nod eagerly at her suggestion.

"Tara, what an entry you had this morning!" Hannah comes over, the scholar of our class.

I smile in embarrassment.

Soon enough all the girls I'm acquainted with come over and form a circle around my seat. I tell them who the men they saw with me this morning are and what my relation with them is. All of them look nothing less than shocked.

"Ex-Excuse me," a male voice interrupts us. All the girls part, making way for Sam, in short for Samuel. The guy who has a crush on me. And along the way, I too, began to develop feelings for him but was too afraid to confess. Now seeing him so worn out and crestfallen, the tug at my heart says it all. "Tara," he whispers.

"Hi," I murmur.

He swallows, licking his lower lip as he exhales a tired sigh.

The girls all scatter away swiftly.

"You should talk somewhere private," Janet nudges me in the ribs.

I look at her in disbelief.

"Go," she mouths and pushes me out of the seat.

"I'll have to directly head back then," I say to her.

She nods at me in understanding. "Take care. And call me when you land."

I sigh in defeat. Of course, she is more worried about my nonexistent love life than our seperation.

I look up at Samuel. "Shall we go somewhere private?"

"That'll be nice. Thanks." He says and steps aside to let me out. I take the lead, he follows me quietly. We end up in the bleachers of our football ground. I find a seat under the shades of the trees and he sits beside me. I focus on the practice game on the ground, giving him time to prepare himself to speak his mind.

"Tara," he speaks after a while.

I hum.

"I've a confession to make,"

"You like me," I say it for him.

He looks at me in surprise. I can't help but smile at his face. "I know. I've known it for a long time now."

"Oh," he twists his fingers together. "So you don't feel the same?"

"I didn't until last year." I admit, still looking at the ground, ignoring the way he is staring at me. "But then during the last fair, you hit all the targets with the bow just to win me the Iron Man action figure, and I started to reciprocate." I blush with a soft smile.

He boldly places his hand atop mine. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I lift my eyes to look at him. "Mom fell sick. I didn't want to start something I wasn't prepared to hold until the end." I confess.

He sighs helplessly. "I've liked you from fifth grade," he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb.

I look down at my lap nervously.

"If we give it a chance, maybe we can work it out?" He tugs at my fingers expectantly.

I shake my head. "I don't think I can do that," I tell him. "I'm sorry. It's just, a lot has happened and I'm still trying to wrap my head around-"

"Hey, it's okay, I understand." He nods at me in assurance. "Then maybe, if we meet again, and the feelings still linger, we'll give it a try?" He grips my wrist, looking at me with a hopeful smile.

I nod shyly. "I'd love that."

My anxiety skyrockets when his eyes fall to my lips. He leans in slightly. "May I?"

I swallow. It would be my first kiss. And honestly, I so badly wanted to give it to him. He was the only boy in all these years to make me feel the butterflies and somersaults that people and books talk about. I close my eyes in acceptance of his advance.

He places his lips on mine, they feel soft and plush. My hands hesitantly rise to settle on his arms and he holds my elbows, his lips opening to fit mine. Time pause as we relish in the reality of our moment. It's nothing like what people show in the television. We don't move our lips or suck or nibble, we stay immobile. It's awkward and nerve-wrecking, but at the same time, I like the feel of his lips and the smell of him. He feels good.

When we pull away, I slowly open my eyes and smile at him. Well, that is before my gaze darts to the side of his head, locking with my half brother's onyx eyes. My face pales and I swallow, pulling away from Sam with a gasp. My trembling hand flies to cover my mouth.

Yuvraaj storms over and clutches my hand, practically ripping me off the seat.

"What the hell?" Samuel gets up, slightly scared but puts on a brave facade for my sake.

Yuvraaj glowers down at the boy half his age with pure hatred. "Talk about this with your friends or classmates and I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth." He seethes.

Sam stumbles back, falling on the seat as he blinks hastily.

Without so as much a glance at me, Yuvraaj drags me from the bleachers. I look over my shoulder at Samuel, apologising him through my eyes. He stares at me wistfully.

I wince as I stumble after him, his ironclad grip on my wrist almost painful.

We reach the parking lot with spectators watching us from all the corners. I feel tears brim at the corner of my eyes. It's been less than two days I met him yet he is already hell bent on controlling my life. All the admiration that I felt for him in the graveyard slips away, replacing with resentment towards the man who drags me like I'm a ragdoll.

"Yuvraaj!" I hear our father exclaim when he spots us coming. "Stop dragging her like that." He comes over and pulls me away from the towering man. "What happened?" He asks in confusion.

I shrink under the glare of his onyx eyes and hide myself behind our father's broad back.

"When I went to the bleachers to get her, I found her kissing a boy." He spits out the word kiss like it was acid. I flinch and cower away more.

"Is that true, little star?" Our father turns around to face me. I nod in shame. He sighs softly. "Alright, I understand your anger," he turns back to look at Yuvraaj. "But there's a way to reprimand her." He adds calmly and faces me once again. "Tara,"

I lift my head.

"Do you like that boy?"

My eyes switch to Yuvraaj as he tenses at the question. I nod, lowering my head just as I notice him growing furious at my answer.

Our father, unlike him, chuckles. "Were you sad you've to part ways with him today?" He cooes.

I nod again.

"She's a good girl, Yuvraaj," he turns around, generously giving me his back to hide. "Didn't you hear all the compliments her principal said in her regards?" I hear him remind the other man in a jolly voice. "And she likes the boy. They're seperating ways today. It must have been a weak moment. Think of it as a young mistake and forget it."

"Mistake? Weak moment?" Yuvraaj scoffs out. I dare to raise my head, swallowing at the smile of mockery on his face before it falls and coldness seeps into his dark eyes. "My sister will not follow your footsteps. So refrain from using such words in her presence." He snaps, leaning ahead and grabbing my wrist. I'm plucked out of my father's comfort and plunged into his side violently. My eyes lift to witness my father's reaction and my heart practically breaks all over seeing the look on his face.

This was no longer about me kissing a boy, their history definitely roots from grimy, impure waters.

I try to take a step forward but get pulled back because of the tight grip on my wrist. I look over my shoulder at Yuvraaj in disbelief.

"You're getting in the car. Now." He commands.

My eyes shifts to our father and he nods at me to obey. I sigh in defeat, yanking my hand off his hold and storming in the direction of the car. I get in and slam the door shut, crossing my arms on my chest angrily.

The two men get in the car after sometime. While trying to spend my time by looking out of the window on our way to the airport, I end up glancing at Yuvraaj frequently through the rear view mirror, feeling my annoyance at him grow every passing second.

I don't want to hate him. But it feels like, I've already started to.

And there goes Yuvraaj down in the list. Tch tch.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter? Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.