She played with the old notebook that rested on the table. It was fragile and the pages within had turned yellow over time. The cover was almost falling apart and yet, for its age, you could actually say the notebook was in excellent condition. Ever since she had gotten it from Professor Sloan, she had stared at it but had never opened it and read what was inside. She knew what it was as Sloan had given her, Lucas and Andreas a brief summary of what was written inside.

It was a notebook, written by Nora's ancestor, a werewolf like her, about his unlikely friendship with a human. That was unheard of at that time. Three hundred years ago the supernaturals and the humans never crossed paths and yet, it had happened with them. The human was her own ancestor and together the men had faced a similar threat as to what she had faced with Nora. They had fought a Phoenix and after, had made a blood pact to protect the future generations. A blood pact that had resulted in the blood bond between her and Nora.

Yet the reason Azura was now staring at it was not the fight with the Phoenix described in it. It was the aftermath. She knew how it ended and yet she had not dared to open the book and read it for herself. She was not the first person a Phoenix had chosen to fuse with. Her ancestor had been the first and the Phoenix had used him to do what it had actually had came to do. The massive surge of power, though, had taken its toll on her ancestor and according to Sloan, he had gone mad and eventually had to be killed by his best friend to prevent disaster.

"Azura,"

She looked up from the table at Professor Sloan. She had hoped to see him here. There was a reason she had gone to the library of Greenwood college. It was a place that never ceased to amaze her as rows and rows of books seemed to continue on forever without end. The space was a cross between modern architecture and the old traditional building. There were snug corners where people could retreat to read but also bigger open light spaces for people to work on their laptops. The smell of old books filled every crook of the library no matter how old or modern it was though.

"What brings you here? Andreas has brought me up to speed on what's been going on but I was not expecting you here. We're running out of time you know."

He adjusted his round glasses as he sat down on the other side of the table. The druid was pure grace and elegance and with his scrutinizing look, she felt herself sink further away in her seat. He never approved of her and Lucas going to the blue-eyed snow leopards territory, not with the bigger threat looming over them.

"It's happening, Sloan. The power, it's consuming me. I can't help it! I get triggered and lose myself. I can no longer see who's who, the only thing I feel is uncontrollable anger and the need to kill."

She pushed the notebook around to keep her hands busy as she stared blankly at the tabletop.

"It's not the Phoenix that makes me like this. It's me. I am going mad! I'm losing it ever since It gave me it's full strength and while it thrives by my anger and rage I lose myself more and more! Floyd is lucky... I would have fought him till he was dead if Kaenan did not interfere. I have so much blood clinging to my hands and I enjoyed every bit of it. I am absolutely frightened by myself!"

Azura looked up as she was done with talking. She was getting desperate and hoped she had not made a mistake by coming here.

"Have you read the book already?" Professor Sloan took the notebook off the table and gently opened it to skip through some pages until he found what he was looking for.

"No..." She guiltily admitted.

"I had to watch my friend descend into darkness." Sloan started reading out loud, translating the old use of language immediately to a much easier to follow normal way of speaking. "He went from quiet and human to something I had to submit to. My wolf submitted to a human, to my best friend. Something is different since that faithful day."

Sloan stopped and skipped ahead a few pages before he continued on.

"It seems like I have no choice anymore. He set himself on a path to self-destruction, intent on taking as many as he can with him. He's become rabid and aggressive, power-hungry to an extent he does not differentiate between friend or foe. It was only a few hours ago that he turned on me. I usually was the one that could drag him out of his episodes, but now... He was on fire, literally. I still can't phantom what happened. He used the fire, controlled it as that Phoenix had done."

Sloan took a breather and glanced at Azura. She remained silent as she seemed lost in her own thoughts. Even so, she was listening and analyzing every single word Sloan spoke. Sloan turned back to the notebook and continued on reading.

"We have six dead wolves in the pack and I'm lucky to be alive. He has fled after the carnage he left behind. He is no longer the person I knew and it kills me knowing I have lost my best friend. He hasn't been the same since the fight with the Phoenix a week ago and I can't help but wonder if the Phoenix has something to do with it especially after seeing what he did today. Somewhere in my mind I still refuse to believe it."

Sloan closed the book and placed it back on the table, his fingers tapping on the cover in a repetitive rhythm. Azura knew he was waiting for her to speak, but she remained silent letting it sink in. Sloan just observed her for a moment before he opened the book again and skipped a few pages ahead and started reading again.

"I had no choice... I had to stop him. There was only one way, I was the only one he allowed close by. It had to be me and it killed knowing it was the only solution.

I took his life.

I had no choice.

I killed my best friend.

Or what was left of him.

I like to think I set him free. After two weeks of disappearing on us, he returned but he was no longer my best friend. He was... beastly, rabid, aggressive and his eyes had changed. He looked like he was in constant pain, being tormented by something. He seemed... trapped. He killed more, got mad and the destruction got bigger. He wiped out an entire village at one point. Only when I was near him did he show traces of the man he once used to be.

I had no choice."

"So that's my fucking destiny as well?!" Azura slammed her hands on the table as she jumped up and knocked her seat backward. "To go insane and start killing until someone actually kills me?! Why are you reading this to me?!" She buried her hands in her hair and hunched down placing her head between her knees trying to keep in screams of helpless frustration.

"Think about it, Azura! See the complete picture instead of focusing on how it ended." Sloan raised his voice slightly while he stayed seated. It was enough for Azura to look back up again and calm herself down.

"What is there to see, Sloan? One man describes how he witnesses his friend go insane and eventually kills him. That's it! There's nothing else to learn from this, no solution, nothing."

People were glancing their way as both of them had raised their voices louder than was appropriate for a library. Azura couldn't care less. No one would dare to scold professor Sloan for it so she was safe as well. Nonetheless, Sloan had noticed as well and scraped his throat regaining his composed posture again and lowered the volume of his voice.

"The time-span. It's all about the time-span. Your ancestor was killed a mere three weeks after the fight with the Phoenix. In the two weeks he had gone missing, I figure the Phoenix did what it was meant to do. Your fight with the Phoenix has been ages ago. You said so yourself, the Phoenix has been releasing it's power gradually with you."

He stopped speaking letting her figure it out on her own. Azura stared at the book while tapping her fingertips on the table.

You are stronger than your ancestor. You're not human, remember.

The Phoenix had been planning it. Azura grabbed a hairband out of the pocket of her jeans and put her hair up in a ponytail just to have something to do as she thought about what was being said by Sloan and the Phoenix.

"So... what you and the bloody fucking bird are saying is that it's easing me into it to make me not go insane?! And yet here I am, going mad ever since I got its full power! I mean, I could go into a fit right now and completely destroy this place without batting an eye."

"And yet, you still sit in front of me without doing anything. You are more in control than you think, dear." Sloan smiled at her and placed his hand over hers to stop her from tapping the table.

I chose you with a reason

"There's more than just the time-span. You see, Nora's ancestor describes how he was the only one who could break through his friend. Bringing his friend back from the madness. Even at the moment he had completely lost it, Nora's ancestor still managed to get through to him, making his job to kill, or free, his best friend so much harder. There are pages and pages written in the book about how it broke his heart to do what he did. It wasn't a lighthearted decision and he never forgave himself for killing his best friend. When did you get the full power of the Phoenix? And most importantly, who has been able to pull you out of your little... moments?" Sloan held her stare as the puzzle pieces came together in her mind.

"After Lucas killed me... When I came woke up again I could feel the power and the Phoenix confirmed it right after... some bloodshed. Lucas was always the one to get me out of my tantrums from the moment I set foot in Pleyvale. He was the only able to calm me and the only one I would never hurt. The only one the Phoenix would never hurt." Her eyes lit up as realization dawned on her and she started speaking faster as the last pieces fell together in perfect harmony. "I've been so blind! The Phoenix told me several times it needed Lucas! I've said it myself as well without knowing the true extent of it. Lucas keeps me grounded and sane! But that leaves Kaenan... Both times here, he was the one to snap me out of it. The flames didn't hurt him and he showed no fear of me ever. Does that mean..."

Sloan just nodded at her with a smile. A sight she did not see that much. She also knew what he was trying to tell her all along. She was not completely lost after all. Not yet at least. For the first time after coming back to life, she felt a glimmer of hope spark inside of her.

"Kaenan's innocence and love for you makes it impossible for the boy to see you as a threat. That makes him your second anchor, probably triggered by the first one falling out of reach for now. The question is, can you find the first one again?"

Azura smiled back at Sloan, her heart filling with warmth with the idea of getting Lucas back. Somehow, it did not seem that much of an impossible task now. She needed him, and she would do anything to get him by her side again.

"I know where he is." She grabbed the notebook from the table while she got up from her seat. "I know where to find him, Sloan!"

It's good to see you getting your head back in the game. Though I have to admit, I love you giving me full control. We still enjoy it. It's still who you are.

Her head violently twitched to the side this time as the Phoenix spoke. Its words choking her as they made her crash down from her cloud nine she had been sitting on for a brief moment, reminding her she was still just a vessel for its purpose and it would do whatever was needed to fulfill it. Including forcing her to go mad if she was not already doing it herself. She felt Sloan study her closely, the twitch could not have gone unnoticed by him. He would know if she would be lying so after a moment of silence and her tapping her fingers impatiently on the desk again, she softly voiced one of her fears she had ever since finding out the Phoenix was part of her.

"At times I think and believe the Phoenix means no harm and is a good thing. Other times, it crudely reminds me of what it truly is and I can't help but wonder if it only brings destruction. I'm torn between good and evil, wondering where I stand myself and how the Phoenix affects me. It wants me to trust it and I need to trust it, yet at the same time, I'm scared of what that trust will bring. Am I selfish for trying to pursue my own goals while the Phoenix has others? Should I set aside my own life and give the Phoenix full reign over myself so it can fulfill its own goals? Is my life, my body even my own or have I lost it already long before I realized?" Tears burned in the back of her eyes as Azura managed to voice her deepest concerns for the first time.