---A/N: Hi readers! First of all, I want to thank all of you for having been patient with me and for having kept reading my 'book' until now. I know there's not a lot of you, but believe me, there are much more than I initially thought would even be interested in reading what I wrote haha. I never really thought I would ever manage to finish a whole book, but hey, here we are! And I'm so glad I shared it with y'all! Unfortunately, every book has an ending and this chapter will be the SECOND last chapter of my first 'book'. So the next chapter will be the epilogue. Anyways, I hope you guys liked this story and I hope I managed to keep you a little entertained or less bored hahah. You guys don't know how much your positive feedbacks affect me, it makes me so happy to hear those! Anyways, don't hesitate on giving me constructive feedback too or telling me what you think of the whole story, what you would've preferred, what I can do better for possible future books, etc. Every opinion is welcome!

Ok, I'm gonna shut up now and let you guys read hahah

Love you all and be nice to yourselves!

- Caty

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"Where are we?" I ask Syria, who's sitting right next to me on the driver's seat.

It's a friday evening and as usual, Syria and I decided to have a little trip around town. This time it was her turn to choose a location. She just drove up a hill, made a left turn into an empty area and parked her car next to a tree. I don't recognize this place so I ask her.

"This is my spot," she replies simply.

"Oh, I see," I finally say before looking around. I can't see anything but the city lights in the distance, because it's way too dark in here.

"Let's get out of the car," Syria suggests while watching me.

"Huh? Get out, here, in a fully dark place, isolated from civilization?"

"Yeah, why not? Are you scared somebody's going to kidnap you?" she mocks me.

"No, not by anyone but by yourself. Who says you're not planning on killing me behind one of those trees and later on sell my organs to the black-market?" I reply playfully.

"Aw man, you exposed me!" she plays along. I just laugh at our stupidity, before agreeing on going outside. She steps out of the car and I follow after her. I walk behind her while she makes her way towards what looks like a fence. Then she tries to climb over it and I instantly help her a little until she manages to hop on the other side. After jumping over the fence myself and standing right next to her, I notice the grass beneath my feet and realize that we're on a huge field.

"I've always wanted to run around this field and scream my lungs out," I hear her talking next to me.

"That's actually a super cool idea, Syria," I tell her in all honesty. How therapeutic must this be? To let out all the stress and frustrations of our week.

"Really? You don't think it sounds stupid?" she says looking at me. At least I think she's looking at me now, because her voice feels nearer than before.

*Of course not! C'mon let's do it!"

And just like that I begin to run. The most exciting part is that I still can't really see anything, so that means there could be a hole or a fence and I would just run into it. But I don't let that bother me and try to enjoy the moment. So I begin to scream. Syria starts screaming after me. Her voice sounds unsteady, so I suppose she started running around, too.

For a moment, it felt pretty amazing, but only until I trip over a bump and fall face first to the ground. I guess my voice made it clear that I just fell, because Syria stopped screaming before calling after me.

"Chloe?"

"I'm here!"

"Did you just fall?" she asks half laughing, her voice growing louder as she runs in my direction.

"Kind of," I say trying to sit up. And right when I go to check my face for any dirt, I feel a disgusting moist paste on my hand. What the...? And now it's all over my cheek, too.

"Are you okay?" Syria asks me as soon as she reaches me before crouching down.

I'm still in a very confused situation, so I forget to reply to her. I decide to smell my hand and it's the worst decision I've ever made.

"OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP" I let out.

"What?!" She asks confused but only until she realizes what I mean. "Wait, did you just...?"

"I HAVE SHIT ALL OVER ME!" I yell and I could swear I was about to cry of disgust.

Syria on the other side begins to cackle with laughter. I haven't heard her laugh this much in a long time.

And I swear, even though I repeatedly beg her to stop, I could never really get enough of that sound.

I jump. There's a sudden loud honk behind me, which makes me blink a few times before pulling me back to reality. I shake my head. Right, it's green. I wonder how long the lamp's been green and how long I spaced out. Yeah, lately it's been rather difficult for me to focus on real life. My mind keeps jumping back to past memories, making me live certain moments over and over again or reminding me of the not-so-bad moments I had in life. Reminding me how everything used to be much better than it is now.

I step on the gas pedal to avoid another honk from the driver behind me. The sound of the engine overlays the sound of the radio, which had been playing 'often by Abhi/Dijon', a song that brings back a lot of memories. Probably the reason why I zoned out in the first place. On top of that, there's the sound of rain thrumming against the roof and windshield of my car. The perfect ambience for grey days like these. If it were on another occasion I would probably be enjoying this, feel relaxed and in a peace of mind. But right now, I'm not.

Why am I doing this again? She's not going to talk to me, this trip is pointless...

But I need to see her.

It's been almost five months. Five months since everything happened. Five months since everything changed.

Our Roadtrip. And then Adrianna. Fuck, I still can't believe this happened. I still struggle to continue my daily life as if nothing happened. And so do the others, but it's impossible. This trip changed us.

Eleanor, who went missing, was found a few hours later by the cops, after we finally managed to call them. She sat not far from the cabin, tied to a tree with her mouth taped shut, weak, dehydrated and malnourished. She needed to stay a week in the hospital to recover before going back to normal life. "Normal life".  At least that's how the doctors described it. Idiots. No one was able to go back to a normal life. Fucking idiots.

Norah and Daisy started working a few weeks ago. I wish I could do the same, but I guess I'm not ready yet. It's going to take some time to be able to move on from this.

Eleanor is staying home, I guess she isn't ready either.

We've been seeing a therapist, individually. I honestly feel like this isn't really helping. There is something missing, something that a therapist can't give me. I need explanations, I need answers. I need some type of closure. And that's why I decided to do this.

Twenty minutes later I arrive at my destination. I pull my car into the parking lot and park it next to the entry. I look up at the big old building.

"What are you doing, Chloe?" I question myself, contemplating whether or not I should go through with this.

Finally, I decide to get out of the car and to simply head inside before I change my mind. As I walk towards the entry I feel a cold breeze against me. I enter the building, still shuddering, even though the AC is on in here. I don't know if I'm still cold or if I'm just nervous.

After filling out an application and passing through security, I'm led to the visiting room before being told to take a seat. Then, I wait for what seems to be an eternity. As if I wasn't already anxious enough. Why is this taking so long?!

I keep glancing at the door, to see if she's coming in, but it's always someone else. Disappointed and getting more nervous by the second I look down at my fidgeting hands.

"What am I doing in here?" I think to myself.

I hear the door opening again. The instant I lay my eyes on her, my heart skips a beat. She makes her way toward me in a slow pace before sitting on the opposite chair. And then she just stares at me. I understand that I'm the one who came to visit her and that I should be the one who starts talking, but right now, I'm not able to form any correct sentence. So after a few seconds of silence, she's the first one to talk.

"So? Did you bring chicken nuggets?" she says playfully.

What? Is she for real?!

I guess my face expression said it all because she instantly wipes that stupid smile off her face and embarrassedly looks down at her lap.

"Sorry, I was just joking," she barely whispers before timidly meeting my eyes again.

Something tells me she's changed, too. But I push that thought to the back of my mind, to avoid any chance of being disappointed.

"How's prison?" I ask her carefully, not knowing how to really start this conversation.

She sighs, looking down at her handcuffed hands, probably too embarrassed to look at me.

After attacking Adrianna with infinite punches five months ago, I somehow managed to knock her out. The sight of a bleeding Syria triggered something in me. All the built up anger turned into a terrible rage and without even thinking, I let it out on Adrianna. Honestly, she deserved it. So after Norah succeeded to pull me away from Adrianna, they decided to instantly tie her up with a rope so that she couldn't run away or hurt somebody again as soon as she would wake up. And later, once the cops came, they took care of the rest.

And now she's here. Sentenced to 33 years of prison for assault, aggravated assault and kidnapping.

"It's... different from what I expected," she finally speaks.

"What did you expect?" I ask truly curious.

"I don't know, something like in the movies and TV shows or something," she chuckles. "But it's actually quite boring."

Of course it is. What else is prison supposed to be? A trip to Disneyland?

"Made friends yet?" I continue. Something about her is making me act nicer than I expected to act in the first place.

"Well, there's this girl called Kabila. She's my bunkmate and she's actually pretty nice. But I don't know if I'm able to call her a friend yet, since this is prison and all..." she trails off. "By the way, the food is not terrible here. It tastes better than anything I've ever tried to cook," she adds before giving another chuckle.

Without really noticing, I smile at her. I kind of miss this normal version of her. Her humble, funny side, the one I initially fell in love with. What exactly happened to make her act the way she acted five months ago? It was like I've never met her before, like a whole different person. Did me leaving her really affect her that badly? Or was there something else going on?

"How's your family?" I ask her this time. I remember her telling me about some family issues when we were still together. How her parents were constantly fighting and stuff. But she never really wanted to talk about it, so I didn't press further.

She narrows her eyes at me, probably wondering why I just asked this random question or why I'm being so nice to her. Or perhaps she's still wondering what my purpose is for coming here in the first place.

"They're okay," she starts off. "My sister just turned 15 and I think she has a boyfriend, cause when I was still living at home, she would be out of the house all day. And my mom's still dealing with the divorce, but she-"

"Your parents got divorced?" I interrupt her.

"Yeah, my mom found out he was cheating and got another woman pregnant so they came to that agreement. Now my dad's been living with his other girlfriend for the past 5 months and I'm about to have a stepbrother or sister," she finishes with a forced smile.

God, I didn't even know she was going through all of that. She needed someone to be there for her and I just... left. Same as her dad. Shit, she must've felt abandoned by everyone.

"I'm sorry..." I confess, not knowing what to say to her.

She studies me for a second before giving me a sympathetic smile as an answer. I'm not sure if she took my apology as an "I feel sorry for you" or as an "I'm sorry for leaving you at the worst time", but honestly, I try to ignore it. It's not the right time to feel guilty now.

"So, how have you been?" After an awkward silence it's her turn to interrogate me.

"Good," I answer simply, not wanting to talk about myself. I've been feeling better lately, but I'm still sensitive to the subject so I don't want to talk about things and risk getting bad again.

She looks at me in a way that lets me know she doesn't believe me.

"How have you been, Chloe?" she insists.

I shrug.

"What do you want me to say, Adrianna? How do you think I am?" I finally let out.

Adrianna instantly looks down at her hands again. She looks kind of embarrassed. Is she?

"Look... I'm sorry," she speaks hesitantly.

"What?" I ask because I honestly don't really understand what she's apologizing for.

"I'm sorry... for what happened to Syria," she clarifies. "For all the shit I've done. I don't know what went through me, what made me act that way. I just... I didn't want it to end the way it did. I didn't want to kill her, Chloe."

I watch her carefully, trying to find some hint of sincerity. And I see it. She seems sad and her apology sounded genuine. But does it matter?

"I lost my friend, Adrianna. I actually lost someone. Forever. And I believe you. Don't get me wrong, I believe that you might regret what you did. And I'm glad you're able to apologize for it. But the truth is; that won't bring her back. Nothing can bring her back now, you know? I wish I could forgive you, but I can't. Not yet... It still hurts too much," I finish off. Shit, I've gotten emotional.

"I know... I know." she whispers, still too embarrassed to meet my eyes.

My eyes have gone watery and I feel the first tear wanting to fall. So I quickly wipe it away while trying to pull myself together. I need to get out of here.

"I have to go."

Last thing I need now is to get vulnerable and cry in front of Adrianna. I don't want to seem weak. But there is also a small part of me that doesn't want Adrianna to feel too guilty about this. I already fucked it up by telling her how I feel. But I think she has enough punishment already. 33 years of prison is almost half her life. That's a long fucking time.

I get up from my seat and head towards the exit of the visiting room. But before I leave, I turn to Adrianna again and mouth her a "Thank you". Last thing I see before leaving the room is a guilty Adrianna watching me with regretful eyes.

I really need to get out of here.

Finally arriving at my car, I quickly get inside. And then I let it all out. Every tear, every emotion I just tried to hold back, I let it out.  

Because the truth is; I didn't only lose one friend.

I lost two.