Finally, the day has come. You can't imagine how long I've been waiting for this moment. After all this stress, all these years, here I am, finally with the diploma in my pocket. Today starts the real adventure. And no, I'm not talking about my upcoming life as qualified educator, I'm literally talking about an adventure. One that I'll be sharing with my best people.

Norah, Daisy, Eleanor, Syria and I had planned on going on a road trip as soon as we've got our degree. Where to? We'll see that today. Yes I know, it's not the smartest move to drive to some unknown place without it being planned before, but hey that's what makes it even more interesting, right? A little spontaneity is always a good idea.

We're supposed to meet in the parking lot of the supermarket at 4 p.m., where we're going grocery shopping before starting our trip. But before all of that, I have to take care of something important.

As usual, I didn't get up as early as I planned to. I wanted to take my time to get my stuff ready and to take care of that thing before meeting them. But of course I had to spend my night watching the last season of Grey's anatomy until 5 in the morning. In my defense, I wasn't even sleepy, so I spent my time wisely, right? Yes I thought so, too. Anyway, that's why I only woke up this early afternoon at 1 p.m. even though I had planned to have my bags all packed by the morning. So I got up quickly and packed my stuff as fast as I could. I just hope I didn't forget anything important. I can be kind of forgetting sometimes. But I really need to use the rest of my time for more important things. It's now 2 p.m. and I haven't eaten anything and I still have to get somewhere before meeting my friends. To hell with food, this here is more important.

I make my way to the bus stop, carrying my bags with me. Considering that we're planning on going away for at least two weeks, I can't just leave my car in that parking lot for that long and risk getting a fine, so today I'll be taking the bus. After 5 minutes of waiting, the bus arrives and I choose to take a seat in the very back of the bus, where it's emptier. Of course, I won't survive the next 25 minute ride without music in my ears, so I take out my earphones and isolate myself from the surroundings. I tap on "Shuffle Play" and the sounds of the first song start filling my eardrums. Oh nice, of all the 731 songs that I have, it had to come up with this song from the Arctic Monkeys. "Now it's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind"  I'm not complaining, not at all, I really like this song, or liked. "Left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply"  It's just the shitty memories that the song brings up, and the funny thing is, it's playing right now that I'm on my way to see the person who gave this song a new meaning. "Why'd you only call me when you're high?"   Yea, sometimes coincidence likes to play dirty games with one. Fuck you coincidence.

--

Here I am, standing on her front porch. I didn't really think this through. What should I tell her? How should I tell her? What if she reacts badly? Shit, I should've really thought about those things before coming here. Guess I'll just have to improvise. I knock twice. After a couple seconds I hear footsteps growing closer, then the door opens. There she's standing. Those eyes, those intense green eyes burning right through me and looking at my deepest thoughts. How I loved them. After three years, I still haven't gotten used to that gaze of hers. I get lost in those green-greyish orbs for a while before I hear her calm but surprised voice.

"Chloe?"

Of course she's surprised, after all, I'm the one that decides to show up unexpectedly at her house, after not talking to her and ignoring her calls and texts for a week.

"Hi Adrianna", I say carefully.

"What are you doing here? Why have you been ignoring me?", she starts to raise her voice. A few seconds ago she was looking at me with a hint of admiration, but now all I can sense is sadness mixed with anger. She has all the right to feel this way, after the way I've left her house a week ago and stopped talking to her during a week. We had gotten into a huge fight. It was the same motive as always. Her and her commitment issues. Yea I know, some people just struggle from it and need time to recover, to trust and commit to someone again, and usually I'm very patient with people who need time. But how would you react after three years of trying to show to the person you love, that you're willing to do everything for them, that you plan on staying by their side through the good and the bad times, that they have no reason not to trust you because they mean so much to you? How would you react if after three years of constant fighting, the one that you love told you that they still aren't sure if you both are going to work out? Even though I really tried to show her how many reasons there were to give us a try. Don't you think you would get a little tired? I know I am. I've been for a long time. There have been moments where I just wanted to give up on us. But you know who wanted me to stay and not give up? Her. She didn't say it. But I felt it. I saw it in her actions. And I know for sure, she loves me. She really does, she just doesn't know how to deal with it. And that's what hurts me. That's what hurts us both. That's why after all these fights and back-and-forths, I have to end this. I have to do this because we're both suffering here.

"I came to talk to you", I say as I try to look away from her, to find the strength to go through with this. I fail miserably as I connect my eyes with hers. Fuck, stop making this harder for me than it already is. "It's about us. Here, I'm just gonna say it; I want to end this, for good this time."

"Wait, what?", I can hear she's hurt. Man, I hate doing this. But it's for the best.

"I want us to stop doing whatever we're doing here, this is not healthy. And I know, you know that too. We're both suffering more lately than anything else. And I don't want that anymore, I think we should just move on and leave whatever we had here behind. Maybe, after all it really wasn't supposed to work out.." my voice cracked as I said this last sentence. The realization of this being over, and maybe that everything we went through, was for nothing, hit me like a truck. I can't cry now, I can't let my emotions and feelings influence the rational choice I've made. Don't cry Chloe, please don't cry.

Adrianna stayed quiet. Her look was empty, like there were no emotions left in her. I've never seen her like this. I think she also realizes that this is the end. That I am being serious this time, and that I'm willing to go through with it. She purses her lips and nods repeatedly but softly while looking at the ground. I can feel her heart breaking. Seeing her like this is making my heart break too. She takes a step back and starts closing the door, taking one quick look at me in the process. Her eyes are bloodshot and watery and just before the door closes I can see a tear rolling down her cheek.

Yes my heart just broke into pieces.

--

I'm 15 minutes late for the meeting, but they're used to it, so who cares. I'm still processing what happened a few minutes ago. It was harder than I thought it would be. But the reason I decided to do this now, was because of the perfect opportunity that was coming, to use it as a distraction. I would be far away from her, far from known places with memories and I would have my best friends 24/7 with me, who are the best people to make you forget about your problems. So yea, I should just start putting these thoughts away and focus on what's coming.

The bus arrives at the bus stop near the supermarket and I get out. Before the door closes the bus driver yells something and I look back.

"Hey you forgot your bags in your seat!"

Oh thank god he saw it, they would kill me if I had to go search for the bags the rest of this day. Where is my mind? Oh right. I quickly go get my bags and thank the driver before walking to the parking lot to meet the other girls.

There it is, the so called VW Camper Van that Daisy's uncle gladly borrowed us. It has enough room for the five of us and two mattresses, one in the back of the Van and one on the roof which is incorporated in the expanding part of the van. Just perfect. As I get closer I can see Norah, Eleanor and Syria transporting bags and boxes into the back of the Van. Then Daisy comes out of the passengers seat and sees me.

"Oh look who decided to show up after all"

"Hey, sorry I had to take care of something", I said apologetically. She eyed me carefully, understanding what I was talking about.

"It's okay, just get your ass inside of the Van, we're taking a quick look over the grocery list. Did u bring money and all of your bags?"

"Yea I think so." I look at my bags unsurely. She takes them from my hand and goes to put them near the rest of the stuff. The other girls greet me as I approach them.

"Are you okay?" Syria asks me cautiously. She was the only one that knew about the thing I had to do before coming here. I felt like she was the person I could trust the most without feeling judged. She just gets me perfectly. You can't imagine how lucky I am to have her in my life, she's like the friend everyone needs.

"Yea, I'm okay", I force a smile, which of course wasn't convincing to her. But she knows exactly when she should or shouldn't force me to talk, so she understood that I just wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Okay, as soon as you're ready to talk, just come to me, okay?" she says, to which I give her a soft smile and a nod. It's time for me to move on, and I am determined to do this. All while having my best friends by my side.

Let's go on an adventure.