Ari's POV

Nate is the only person in the world that makes me feel less alone. It hit me like a freight train, randomly, as I stared at him while he was trying to pick out figure out what card to put down next. I dropped mine in my lap, a winning hand which at the moment, I didn't care much about.

I'd never really had a best friend. God knows I've tried, but nobody ever seemed to want much to do with me. At least in the long term. Maybe it's because I'm introverted and would rather stay quiet when others could go on for ages, or maybe it's my preponderant "bitch face", as Kay so fondly puts it. And so, even if I was never really alone, going to school five days a week, living with my overly chirpy parents every day of the week, I'd always felt lonely.

Then I met Kaylah, and at first, I ran away from her. Almost literally. I ran away from what her eagerness to learn more about me meant; a friend. I guarded myself, until, well, I didn't. And so, I let her in, bit by bit. And for four months and about two weeks, I've never felt lighter.

But people like Kaylah never have just one friend, and I've had to learn that the hard way. Although I loved her, I never really understood why she picked someone who, in many ways, is her complete opposite. She's the type of person that gathers a crowd, always smiling or joking around, all with a confidence that sparked an ember of jealously at times. Because, I've always been the girl that blends into the background. And even if Kaylah manages to drag me into the spotlight with her, I somehow always end up being painted as the "cold" one the bitch. All because I can't muster an easy smile and a fake laugh with the same ease.

With Kaylah, I never knew if she'd still think I was enough tomorrow or if she'd just wake up and decide someone else was better suited to be her best friend. And again, I felt alone; this time, in my fear and my thoughts.

Then Gage happened, and our little pack started coming together, and I didn't have time to be left alone in my thoughts. But life is rarely anything but bittersweet, and too ironic to fully understand. So, I took their friendship and love for granted, only to watch life chip it away, little by little. Gage. Skylar and Anna. The boys. And finally, Kaylah, who had promised time and time again to stay, but ultimately didn't. None of them ever did.

I was gathering my cards from my lap when I looked up and saw Nate staring back, green eyes questioning. But they never held just one emotion, like they were never just a dull shade of green. They looked at me inquisitively, curiously, even playfully, but always, so, so fondly. They narrowed to slits, olive green in the dim light, and he tilted his head slightly.

"What's on your mind?" his voice was low, with an underlying softness to it, as if he was trying to not spook me.

I let out a rush of air, which sounded alarmingly similar to a half sob. His eyes further narrowed, and I brushed away a tear. "Nothing?" it sounded more like a question than I'd planned it to, "Everything? I don't even know,"

He stretched his arms out, inviting me to crawl between his thighs, and I obliged, my back against his warm chest. Slowly, he lowered us to one side, pulling me closer against him, until my cheek was cushioned against the duvet and his lips were on my neck, a gentle press, and his arm caressed my side.

We stayed like that for a while, until I found the words to speak again. " I hate them, every single one of them," my voice had taken on a bitter turn, and I almost spit the words out, glad to have them in the open for once.

"I hate Skylar's stupid commentary and how she always thinks everything revolves around her. I hate Anna for being so stupid, so ignorant, and treating Zariah as if she were a dignified role model, when all she is is a pathetic excuse of a whore. I hate Mateo for being dumb enough not to realise who his besties really are and see how their smiles don't reach their fucking eyes. I hate Seth and Malik for being so impassive to this, after knowing us for so long. I hate- " I cut myself of with my own sobbing, and for a long time, all I could think about was Kaylah, getting into a car with Gage. Because although I didn't want to admit it, it hurt more than all the other betrayals combined.

I must've made a pathetic picture, sobbing my heart away in a hotel duvet, and after a while I mustered enough strength to turn around and face Nate. He looked wary, as if he half expected me to tell him I hated him, too. Instead, I did the complete opposite. "I love you,"

We hadn't said it before out loud, and for a moment, I was afraid this was the moment he was going to leave too. Instead he cupped my cheek, and brushed at the tear tracks, black mascara stark against my skin. "I love you too," he kissed my forehead, and then gently pulled away. It felt cold without his arms around me, and I shivered.

I must've looked a little lost, because he let out a small laugh. "I'll draw you a hot bath, alright?" He grabbed at his backpack, bringing me a tin of cookies and a bottle of Schweppes, before disappearing into the bathroom. I would have preferred a gin and tonic as opposed to only tonic, but it would have to do.

I scrolled through my phone as I munched away the cookies, listening to the rumble of tap water filling the small tub. On a whim, I opened up Snapchat, and before I could talk myself out of it, I started scrolling through mine and Kaylah's saved texts. To anyone else, it might've looked like a jumble of intelligible half-finished sentences and weird abbreviations, but for me, each one was a moment in time. Half a thought, a collection of moments immortalised in a couple words, like leaves pressed between book pages.

I came across a particularly weird jumble of words full of wrongly capitalised words and statements in bold, as well as what seemed to have been an emoji stand off. I checked the time stamp, and noticing it indicated well past midnight, I let it go with an easy smile.

Abruptly, I realised that if I didn't at least try and understand her motives right now, there might not be any more memories to save. I wasn't smiling anymore when my fingers hovered over the keys, uncertain of how I should phrase it.

Me: I need to talk to you. Can we meet when I get back?

I stared and stared at the screen, half hoping and half dreading she'd respond. Hoping, because I'd missed her so much it almost physically hurt, because wherever I looked, I could see the imprint she'd left on my life. And dreading, because I didn't know what I could possibly say, or if her truth is something I even want to hear. Then Nate cleared his throat loudly, and I lifted my eyes, only to find him leaning against the bathroom doorframe, the door half open, steam curling around him.

"Not so surprisingly, they don't have any bath foam, so I used some shampoo. Hope it works as an okay replacement," the worry etched on his face subdued his smile to a timid upturn of lips instead of the broad smile I was so used to seeing.

I gingerly sat up, feeling wobbly, and made my way towards the inviting warmth. As I passed Nate, I pressed my lips to his, a comforting brush of lips. "I have your back," he whispered, and those words rang into my ears long after I'd climbed into the bath and closed my eyes.

Nathan's POV

I stared at the ceiling for a long time. I lay on my back, pulling out my headphones and listening to her talk. I paused every 20 seconds or so, giving myself time to process her words, cutting out the unimportant parts, until I'd reduced the recording's length to little over 3 minutes. There is so much anger and pain in her voice, I get close to pitying her, and I have to talk myself out of it a couple times.

I wouldn't exactly call it love, but I had grown fond of her. And I didn't like it one bit. I don't know if it's her pain, her fear of rejection or her need to control every variable in a situation that drew me closer to her, but I can tell we're somewhat alike. To a very limited degree, of course. But I'm starting to understand what Gage sees.

I had a whole plan thought out. I used to repeat it to myself when I went to sleep every single night as I laid down in bed, whispering it like a mantra. I thought, no, I was certain I could control every variable. But for a while now, I haven't been so sure of it. Because I hadn't planned for Kaylah or their friends, or for Gage's attempts to heroism, and I surely hadn't expected to actually enjoy Ariana's company. It's interesting talking to someone who's messed up too. Refreshing, really.

Gage had hurt me; Kaylah thinks I'm a monster, and so do most of the people I've met. But Ariana's never wronged me. So whatever reason would I have to wrong her?

I waited until I could hear the water turn on and grabbed her phone. The first thing I saw was a text to Kaylah, and I stopped, considering. She'd known her for much longer than she's known me. Was it there to stop Ariana from believing whatever she's managed to put together about me, however shoddy? And with Gage on her side, it might become tricky.

I already know she's got something on me. No matter how much she tries to hide it with her body language and her smiles and that fucking laugh, I can see it in her eyes. She's waiting for me to make a wrong move, and soon. I'll have to take care of that.

I scrolled through her contacts, debating who I should send this recording to. I had expected her to say something, but I hadn't quite expected her to give me everything I needed on a silver platter. She made editing it a breeze.

I went through the list, stopping at each contact. Seth didn't seem like the type of dude to be much for dramatics, and Malik didn't seem like a good enough option, either. Matteo might try and talk to Ari, and she'd know it was me then. But I saw right through Skylar and what she really was: a top tier gossiper, secretly living off the drama of others while playing the innocent. The only one I could be certain would never let the recording get back to Ariana, and the person that has enough influence over the rest to make them listen.

As I copied the number into my phone and sent the recoding to her anonymously, I told myself I was doing Ariana a favour. They were never really her friends, anyway.

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Back on track with semi-regular updates!! We're getting close to the end of this, and I'm soo exciteedd. Thank you for sticking around :)